I HAVE to lose some weight! January 1, 2008, I weighed 239 pounds! On a 5' 9" frame that is a lot of weight even for someone with a stocky build. Since January, I've been exercising and eating better. To a degree I was successful and got down as low as 225, but tended to hover in the 228 to 232 range. Better, but not good enough. I have a killer sweet tooth. Something had to change. A couple of days ago, I committed myself to…
TOP Performers raise the science of their expertise to an art form.
And they grasp the art of their expertise as a science.
In previous posts I’ve told you about the fallacy of seeking balance in your life. I can only imagine that many people who are reading this post as well as this entire category are doubting my sanity. How can so many people be so wrong? Or, Kevin, what makes you think you have it right when all the world sees it differently?
Let me share a story with you…
Resolve is the determination not to dissolve.
Striving for balance is a crazy-making, pointless waste of your time, effort, and emotional energy. Attempting to live up to “the balanced life” standard only heaps on lumps of guilt and disappointment, along with a gnawing sense of low-grade failure. Living with the glass half full in a pessimist’s paradise, despite your hope, optimism, and desire for improvement.
The problem is epidemic. Our entire culture has so accepted the myth that balance in life is the accepted norm for what makes for a successful life. Well, perhaps, having tons of money is the even bigger myth. So behind materialism for confusing our concept of the ideal life is this idea of balance.
I’ve known for decades that this kind of thinking was erroneous, yet the point was driven home to me in the spring of 2006. I was an in-studio radio show guest on Lee & Friends hosted by Lee Brandel on AM 950 WTLN in Orlando, FL. When I shared my perspective on work-life balance, here’s what Lee had to say:
“Thank you! In twenty years of interviewing, you are the first guest to ever tell my listeners and me to stop trying to balance our lives! What a refreshing and insightful thought. I am relieved.”
Is it any wonder why we when we feel so blue and down about ourselves that we run to Starbucks for a java jumpstart for the burned-out battery of our souls? We’re putting together life’s puzzle with flawed instructions and paying the price in every aspect of our lives and careers.
For too many years, you’ve had the wool pulled over your eyes by legions of work-life gurus and coaches. These “experts” have also bought the lie. They’ve unquestioningly mimicked what they heard and merely accepted the pursuit of work-life balance as a greater truth and aspiration. Just because a lie is repeated, doesn’t make it true. Yet the idea of balancing your work commitments and family obligations is so cemented in our culture that it is given universal truth status.
I’m a self-help heretic on this topic. I’m telling you there’s no sense in pursuing work-life balance. Open up your life to a new possibility where you’ll get higher dividends for all of your effort and energy with no risk of failure.
It’s like a man who spent his entire life staring at the corner of a towering wall. He’s master of its every nuance and built a good life being a wall looker. He lives in a safe and secure place that’s his home.
Then I come along, turn him around, and say, “Look what’s been behind you the whole time! There’s a garden, mountains, the ocean, and a horizon that stretches as far as the eye can see. You can go to these places or turn back around to your corner wall world.” I urge him, “Please step with me to these new places, experiences, and adventure of a lifetime.”
He answered, “But I’ve never experienced any of what you’re describing. It can’t be for real. It is all just an illusion.” He turns around to continue living his safe and secure life at the corner wall.
Don’t be a wall watcher any longer.
Do you believe the sun, planets, and stars revolve around the earth? Of course not! The Ancient Greeks believed the world was flat. Centuries later this was still the prevailing wisdom and teaching of the day. Then along came Nicolaus Copernicus who changed the course of modern science and astronomy.
What about today? How can so many of the best and brightest be so wrong about work life balance? Are you one of them?
How do I achieve work life balance? Here is another question I get asked frequently. And here is where I am a self-help heretic.
Call it what you may, life work balance, work life balance, balancing my life, finding balance, or whatever description you want to use. Work life balance is a myth, a distraction, a misguided principle, a false concept, an inaccurate ideal, and a missed target.
Here on my blog I’ll be exploring The Myth of Work Life Balance and invite your comments, questions, and, frankly, disagreements. I’ve debated this with many persons. More importantly, you won’t be left hanging. There is a better alternative.
When your heart, your head, and your hands are aligned within the highest values; then, you are on-purpose!