Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Personal Leadership

Is Your Business Running You Ragged?

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If your business is running you ragged, then it means you’re using old strategies in the new economy.

Is it time for an update? Perhaps this holiday season is a time to contemplate and reconsider your priorities.

In the 20th Century’s Industrial Age, much of the prevailing “wisdom” of the day was along this line of thinking: “Keep your personal life separated from your business life.” This compartmentalized approach to life provided clear lines between work and family. By and large, it worked to preserve a certain measure of sanity for much of the industrialized population that was engaged in routine, mindless work.

The downside of separation, however, is the dehumanizing of workers and poor business ethics.

When people are human resources then they are assets—commodities bought and sold by management. When we act one way on Sunday and another way on Monday, our decisions are easier and expedient but not necessarily morally sound or even best business practices.

The 21st Century, however, is in full swing into the Knowledge Age and the knowledge worker.

Separation of one’s work and life isn’t so easy because we carry our work in our heads.

It was easy to walk away from a milling machine, but keyboards surround us at work, at home, and on our smartphones and tablets. The lines between home and work are blurred beyond recognition.

The situation is so severe that many service companies offer “Work–Life Balance” programs to address the growing problem of employee workaholism, health, and burnout. Time management is nearly a joke anymore in this 24/7 society where our noses are glued to our apps.

Now as we stand on the edge of the Age of Purpose and Meaning where separation is a liability, just what are we supposed to do?

Do we separate? Do we balance?

The On-Purpose® Approach provides answers for the New Age. Balance in your life is a false ideal. (See: Do You Want A Balanced Life?) The 21st Century way of doing life and work is integration with healthy boundaries.

An integrated life has a point of integration—your purpose.

The more we are pushed upon, the more we need to know who we are and what is our purpose in life so we can resist, rest, and rebound. A solid core to our life enables us to establish appropriate boundaries so “Our yes can be yes, and our no can be no.” The risks of not knowing who we are is unhealthy to our body, mind, and spirit.

Gain Health! Gain Your Life!

When your business is running you, then you’re not running your life. Use the On-Purpose® Approach to run ahead and find the margin you need. The On-Purpose Peace and The On-Purpose Person set is an amazing coaching or small group experience to help you get ahead of your life so you’re in charge and on-purpose.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

Why Is Life So Hard?

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In this On-Purpose Minute we’re exploring one of the greatest hidden impediments to living a better life: confused language, in general, and—specifically—the words of strategy and planning. Purpose, vision, and mission are used synonymously though they are not the same. Each has a unique quality, capacity, and meaning.

Each strategic term of Purpose, Vision, Mission, and Values answers a TOP Pal 2014 w copyrightspecific question and speaks to a distinct aspect of personal and organizational strategy.

Purpose: Why do I exist? (Being: Identity and worth)

Vision: Where am I going? (Seeing: Direction and dreams)

Mission: What do I do? (Doing: Planning and action)

Values: What is important? (Choosing: Decisions and importance)

On-Purpose, therefore, is when your heart, head, and hands are aligned and integrated with the highest values.

On-Purpose® is both a process and state of being strategically integrated while giving practical expression to who you truly are. You prosper others and yourself—it’s a win–win. As a result, you can’t help but make a difference.

Too many of us live our lives desperately seeking “to make a difference.” It is a noble aspiration, but a misguided approach. When the focus is the result and not the cause, then we’re almost sure to get distracted and detoured.

Instead, focus on becoming the personal leader of your life.

Know who you are—really.

  • Write your 2-word purpose statement.
  • Invest the time to clarify your vision and missions.
  • Specify your values—the boundaries and guidelines of your life that matter most to your overall health and well-being.

Need help? Explore The On-Purpose Shop for books, tools, coaching, and more.

Decay and destruction are easier than growth and construction. Being on-purpose is work … but consider the alternative. And that, dear reader, is why life is so hard.

Rock-paper-scissors chartRock–paper–scissors chart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When there isn’t agreement on the definitions of Purpose, Vision, Missions, and Values—but plans are made with them—then those plans are confused. Confused plans result in under-performance. Under-performance calls for a review and update of the plans. Rock–Paper–Scissors!

Can a good old game of Rock–Paper–Scissors help you to unlock the difficulties of your life?

Yes!

  • Rock breaks scissors.
  • Scissors cut paper.
  • Paper covers rock.

We know the rules and the game.

The problem isn’t the process, tools, or sincerity of the people. The problem is outside of the system. The terms of leadership and strategy are confused so the entire “game” is rigged against you to almost always fall short.

Have you ever asked yourself, Why am I so frustrated and overwhelmed? Do you think you’re crazy or something is wrong with you?

If you’re crazy, then you don’t know you’re crazy. If you think you’re crazy, then you’re sane enough to know you’re not going mad. All this, therefore, means you aren’t crazy—just stressed, worn, and detoured from the life of your dreams but not the life of your reality.

When the world within us is confused, directionless, and searching, to assume the world outside of us is going to magically provide what we’re looking for is stepping on the unhealthy path of voluntary victimhood.

To make sense of the world about you, make sense of your life.

Start with consistent definitions of purpose, vision, missions, and values. Then, answer the questions above. The On-Purpose Person provides the method and steps to lead your life on-purpose.

Why Am I Fearful?

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Does fear interfere with your life, business, or career?

What’s your fear? What are you fearful of? Where in your life do you say, “I am afraid of … ,” yet you know it is a hang-up—not a danger to your life or limb?

Would you like to be at a place where you can say, “I am not afraid” … and mean it? Read on!

Fear, like pain, is partially designed to be our friend, not our foe.

  • Fear keeps us from being in harm’s way.
  • Fear protects us from injury, peril, and even death.
  • Fear provides for self-preservation.

This is our good or helpful fear.

Bad or harmful fear debilitates our inherent motivation and destroys our confidence. The ripple effects beyond oneself can damage relationships, opportunities, jobs, finances, and more.

  • Fear can be an occupying foe taking up unjust strongholds in our spirit, mind, and body.
  • Fear can lead to anxiety that spawns a panic attack that triggers the fight or flight reaction.

This fear is unhealthy in every aspect.

Fear is not to be necessarily avoided; it is, however, to be understood.

Fear is a God-given guidepost to growth and healing. Facing fear, however, is not a solitary endeavor. Be wise and seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist skilled in working you through your fear in a progressive manner.

Why bother?

If you’re locked in unhealthy fears, your aspirations and dreams are muted.

When fear prevails it is hard to be on-purpose.

How Do I Become A Leader?

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In a conversation with a very financially successful woman she confessed to me “I am not a leader.” Her sincere, albeit inaccurate, self-assessment stunned me. Not only did I respect her as a leader, I knew a number of others who shared my opinion of her. 

It didn’t matter what I or others thought of her. She didn’t see herself as a leader, so she wasn’t. But I did have a long conversation with her to share some of what is in this On-Purpose Minute video and text.

Just as I believe we’re on-purpose persons in creation, I believe we’re all leaders in creation, too. Image of two hands with one finger of each touching, with the quotation "Every person is a leader in creation."

Here’s why: We are all leaders at some place, in some topic, at some time, or with some people. Clearly, there are those of us who are more naturally front and center in visible positions of leadership. 

The conversation with the woman got me thinking about those who don’t see themselves as leaders. With this On-Purpose Minute, my hope is I can awaken you to your leadership in small areas so you can leverage these as building blocks to grow your personal leadership.

Here are Five Tough Shifts in your thinking to become a leader:

  1. Recognize where you presently lead
  2. Relabel yourself as a leader
  3. Know yourself better
  4. Practice your leadership skills by leading your life better
  5. Realize you won’t please everyone

Feel free to add your suggestions in the comment section below.

This is a classic On-Purpose Minute. The On-Purpose Leader Experience is NOT being offered this May. Below is a link to a preview of one from May 2012. 

 Here is a link to a preview of The On-Purpose Leader Experience. 

CLO: People as Leaders

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CLO Circle BothPre-order Chief Leadership Officer

Will you rise to the challenge?

The Chief Leadership Officer is charged with two primary responsibilities:

In both responsibilities the role begins with positioning.

Today, let’s explore the second of these two charges. Positioning people to lead involves two aspects of their:

  • Life
  • Job

The prevailing “wisdom” of the Industrial Revolution was to compartmentalize your life and work. Keeping them separated reflected this era of efficiency and specialization of work. In essence, Corporate America was built on this notion. What a convenient rationale for the dehumanization of people as units of the production process. Think about it. Where do you think the term “human resources” came from? It was good for business to treat people badly.

Such poor treatment of people eventually gave rise to Labor Unions and strikes to counteract the negative effects of man’s inhumanity to man. Working conditions may have improved, but the dehumanization simply went underground and emerged whitewashed as “human resources departments,” a pejorative, yet accurate term if you really think about it.

For example, today human resources departments take great pride in the snake oil notion of work-life balance. This notion is simply the modern beat of the work-life separation song sung since the original pace of Taylor’s time motion studies. There’s cover when the company can shift the burden of blame or responsibility onto the workers for achieving work-life balance.

“We’re doing our part offering our Work-Life Balance Program,” says the well intended, yet misguided HR professional. In fact, they’re an unwitting accomplice to an archaic CEO-led system built upon people as things not souls.

Look around! Such objectification of life legitimizes the distancing of our thinking to the consequences of our behaviors and decisions. “In the name of business,” becomes a sacred altar for human sacrifice. We’re convinced our personal sacrifice on the job is a necessary evil for our resume building and career promotions–all in the name of doing it for our family or some other outside cause. Mastery of winning within a dysfunctional system has too often meant that we’ve lost our true selves in the process–a high price for a “cost of living” pay raise.

Have you read Gallup’s Report on the sorry state of Employee Engagement? Over two-thirds of employees are disengaged in their work. Of course they are. For generations, we’ve been schooled to disengage and deny our heart’s desire as frivolity. Denial of our destiny leaves us burned out and bummed out consuming a dulling drug of our choice ranging from chocolates to wines to entertainment to illegal substances. Our first-world problems will only get worse until we decide to get better.

Thanks to Chief Leadership Officer, the book and the CLO™ leadership style along with On-Purpose®, let’s close this experiment in history. Chief Leadership Officer is an upbeat awakening to those who feel called to lead a business, a department, a team, or even a family. The On-Purpose Person and My On-Purpose Folder are two simple, yet powerful resources for humans to become better leaders of their lives.

People who are more successful at leading their lives bring far less baggage, confusion, and disruption into the workplace. They’re also far more likely to be trusted and respected by their peers so they emerge as leaders with or without the formal title. The carry authority because they’re authentic.

On-the-job skills or technical training is the easy part! Mentoring toward leadership is difficult because few of us have had mentors or true leaders worth following. We’ve become such a specialized society that few can see the forest and the trees with appropriately accurate clarity.

Why do companies now want employee engagement? The power of the whole person — body, mind, and spirit — engaged in the purpose of the organization can move mountains. Treating people rightly is a return to our humanity. And it is good for business. It always has but it is back in fashion.

We’re not wired to live our lives in such neat, tidy boxes of personal indifference. Our lives matter. We want to make a positive contribution. The inherent value of people is the next frontier of business. CLOs, not CEOs, will lead us there in the decades to come.

Can You Put It Into Words?

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Is it time for your On-Purpose leadership experience?OP Person and Peace covers

Join Kevin W. McCarthy as he facilitates On-Purpose Peace, a 7-week live video conference small group using On-Purpose Peace. Learn more at the On-Purpose Peace website.

 

Meet Hamlet, our family’s standard poodle who died back in October of 2015. Hamlet was scary smart and we kept expecting him to talk. Looking at meHamlet with Ball with his big brownish/gold eyes it was as if he was asking for permission to speak. I’d say to him, “Hamlet, use your words!”—the same statement I would make to our kids in their terrible twos to thwart a temper tantrum.

Hamlet, of course, didn’t talk. Imagine what his and our lives would be like if he could have put it into words. Thank you very much, Dr. Dolittle.

Words are powerful. The most powerful are personal, intimate, informative, revealing, insightful, meaningful, and offer definition and clarity. God created the world by speaking it into being with words (see below). It doesn’t get much more powerful than that!

When reading the writings of others, I so appreciate a turn of phrase that captures exactly what I’m feeling but I couldn’t express in words as succinctly. There’s something refreshing to the soul when a song, poem, or book articulates our spirit and reveals a rare glimpse at ourselves, yet through the eyes and words of another.

Consider the cost of ill-suited words. Words are the sword of the tongue and spirit. This gives rise to wise counsel such as, “Think before you speak.” Words can be hurtful and mean.

Medically speaking, an undiagnosed illness is the absence of the right word. A disease can’t be treated properly or as effectively until it can be identified. Symptoms may be managed, but the cure remains a mystery. To put it into words makes a big difference.

Consider the gains to be had using the right words. The sense of understanding and completion is richly satisfying to the soul. Right words enable right action, productivity, and accomplishment.

The Meaning of Life and The Meaning of Words Are One

Of everything in the universe, the ultimate question of life can only be explained in words. The meaning of life is understood in words because God used words to create the world. The Gospel of John tells us that, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

What Are The Words of Your Life?

Writing your personal purpose statement may seem like it is the act of putting your life into words. In fact, it isn’t that at all. Writing a purpose statement is the audacious attempt to articulate and then harness the supernatural mystery and link between the spiritual and physical realms. 

Your purpose, like Jesus, is fully spiritual and fully physical. When the revelation of your purpose comes to light, your sense of your self, your life, your experiences, and more come into an extraordinary focus and context. It is the power of words made personal and authentic. 

A true highlight of On-Purpose Peace is writing a 2-word personal purpose statement. This is the beginning of being on-purpose. Imagine what your life would be like if you, unlike Hamlet, could use your words that are written on your heart.

How’s Your Self Talk?

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Have you ever tried to break a habit? At best, it is an awkward experience because we take ourselves off of “autopilot” and go into a “manual” mode. Things we didn’t think about … now we do. And when it comes to breaking bad habits, the bad habit can preoccupy our thinking. As a result of this heightened tension, our discomfort is more apparent to us.

Athletes learn to expect that performance may get worse before it gets better when they’re creating a new habit. Progress, not perfection, is the healthy standard of measure. Staying optimistic can be difficult in the midst of change. Remaining positive, however, is a matter of choice. Decide to stay upbeat and you will! You’ll also benefit by focusing on learning instead of “loss.”

Try the AAA Method: AAA = Awareness + Alternatives + Act on it!

Awareness, developing alternatives, and acting upon your better/best intentions (AAA) is preventive medicine for the sanity of the soul. 

Habits are defined as acquired behaviors. The implication here is that if we acquire new habits, then we can also dispose of and replace bad ones. Now there’s hope!

It’s easy to imagine our life with the benefits of our new habits. Here are some examples:

  • Smoking cessation brings savings of money; no smoky smelling breath, clothes, car, and home; and better health.
  • Getting to a healthier weight resolves or mitigates a host of weight related conditions and diseases, such as Type 2 Diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Joints and backs with less weight are happier and less creaky.
  • Centering prayer, meditation, or deep breathing can reduce stress and free the mind to think more clearly.
  • Tracking your spending helps you plug wasteful expenditures and impulsive buys. You can increase your savings.

Envisioning new life is easy. Making it happen is not so easy! The underlying premise is that we’re capable of far more than we understand or we will push ourselves. That’s why so many people turn to coaches to assist them for accountability as well as training.

I’m a fan of the Discovery Channel series, Surviving the Cut. While each branch of the U.S. military is training its soldiers for different missions, one consistent theme comes across — these soldiers have very real probabilities of facing life and death situations in the field. They need to understand that they are far more capable than they know and understand. Learning to manage fear is part of their job. Rarely are the cadets in real danger. Therefore, to a large degree the mental challenges exceed the physical hardship. 

Your self talk matters. If you identify yourself with words like failure, slob, worthless, insignificant, wasteful or stupid, then you’re pronouncing lies into your present and carrying them into your future. To what benefit is this? Now that you’re Aware — Stop!

Come up with a list of Alternatives for your identity: successful, neat, worthy, significant, thrifty, and smart.

Now Act on them. If you don’t act on them then they’ll never develop and be fully assimilated in your life. This is the essence of personal leadership — the ability to turn it around by yourself or by having the humility to get the help you need.

Purpose and Passion

Personal motivation — a compelling reason, a why, a purpose — combined with a willingness to pay the price — passion — defines the outcome. That said, extraordinary moments of truth emerge in the midst of the ordinary that test our purpose against our progress. Positive thoughts may get us started but will they sustain us? We choose!

No matter the outcome, you’re learning about you! Knowledge is powerful when put to good use, such as your self talk. So even if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do, you’re learning something new about yourself. Use your Awareness to develop an Alternative strategy that you Act upon (The AAA Method).

Moments of truth appear in our self talk: good and bad. Let’s not go down the self-deceptive path of mindless affirmations, positive talk, or positive mental attitude. Be real with yourself. 

Get to the guts of the matter, the real inner conversation. The ones haunted by doubt, fear, anger, discouragement, disappointment, and hopelessness. Be equipped to choose to win which is why I encourage you to put the AAA Method to work when your self talk becomes self-defeating.

Cover of Cover via Amazon

It is like there’s a debate team living inside you. Who will win? How’s your self talk coming along? Use the AAA Method to intervene on behalf of your new, better habit. You’ll be on-purpose and better for it.

Recommended Reading: Read Pat Pearson’s book STOP Self Sabotage. I like the way this lady thinks. She brings great depth to the topic. She’s a casual business acquaintance so I can personally say that I have respect for her work.

How Do You Get the Job of Your Life? Part 2

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Part 1 is found here.

A tough personal economy, job loss, or unemployment means you may find yourself stuck in a job that no longer suits you or worse you feel stuck and that you have no options to change because the risk to leave is too high. Unhealthy thoughts are creeping into your psyche.

Worse, do you find yourself in a repeating pattern of moving from job to job in a sort of trial-and-error attempt to find the right job? The only thing worse than moving from job-to-job is the potential loss of confidence that can often accompany this cycle where you feel like you have no place to belong and contribute.

The challenge isn’t necessarily the job but the applicant! My implication isn’t that there is something wrong with you as a person. Quite the contrary; you’re uniquely gifted and talented with a valuable contribution to make. You have an unmatched experience and background … and that’s just the start of what sets you apart! What you have is backward thinking about how to find the job of your life.

The Secret to Finding the Job of Your Life

So what is the secret to finding the job of your life? Your process is flawed, not you! Chances are you’re chasing money, not meaning. If you keep applying for misfitting jobs that meet your financial goals but rob your soul, then you’ll get rejection letters galore. You lack the common sense to see you’re an empty suit chasing a dollar. Or, worse yet, if you do get an ill-suited job, how soon will it be until you realize the mistake you’ve made … or your employer does? Welcome to the repeating pattern that invariably ends in frustration, lost momentum, and a career setback.

Try this very different approach to finding the job of your life. Admittedly, my approach places a substantial burden of work on you to think, craft, and find the job and company that best suits you to thrive. Too often, I’ve seen people settle for a close approximation of something meaningful or the decision is made purely for “more money” reasons. Being sold to the highest bidder offers some upfront ego-strokes and rewards, but long term you have to ask yourself if this is the place, the people, the product, and the purpose where you can thrive.

Kill Rates or A Healthier Place

A couple of decades ago, my wife was applying for a job with a defense contractor. Judith loved everything about the position. Wisely, an interviewer bluntly asked her, “Are you comfortable being in the business of killing people? Here we talk in terms of ‘kill rates’ to assess the effectiveness of our products.” Everything else about this job seemed like a great fit — superior pay and benefits working in a major corporation, nice people, interesting work, but … Judith decided to pass on that position because being in the “kill rate business” just wasn’t who she was.

Years later, after raising our children, Judith decided to re-enter the workforce to become a health coach. Today she is in the business of saving lives by helping her clients to gain health. She is thriving because her heart is in her work. She’s put it together 1-2-3. She’s defined who she is and found meaningful work supporting her in becoming who and how God made her. The 3-2-1 approach almost invariably becomes oppressive rather than expressive.  166

Judith tapped me to work with her in support of helping clients to be at a healthier place. How on-purpose can one be when you’re not very healthy? Plus she’s training others to become health coaches by sharing in her joy of saving lives and my calling of helping people lead lives of being on-purpose.

Invest Your Life

Don’t spend your years wasting away chasing meaningless endeavors. Instead, invest in your life in what matters most to you. Do it on-purpose!

If your life or career needs some renovation, then let’s connect and see how we can help you take a healthy step toward being true to yourself, prospering, and making a difference by giving back. Is it time for you to invest in the first job of your life — taking care of you? Here is how we can help:

Finding the job of your life is the job of your life. Until you’ve figured out who you are, why you’re here, where you want to go, and what’s important, then you’ve placed yourself at a strategic disadvantage to find the job of your life.

Give this different process and approach a try. It is as easy as 1-2-3!