Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Leadership

How Are You Building Your Confidence?

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Gaining confidence begins with a decision to become confident.

The lack of confidence can negatively influence every aspiration and aspect of your life and work. Personal leadership and personal confidence go hand in hand.

Avoid falling prey to the “Fake it until you make it” crowd who believe in building on lies at best and self-deception at worst. Being truthful about a matter where one isn’t experienced serves no one.

Confidence comes with experience and achievement, which can’t be faked.

Confidence, however, is speaking the truth about one’s experience and achievement and allowing the miracles of graciousness and kindness of others to accept you as you are rather than pretending to be someone you aren’t.

How are you gaining and building your confidence?

Please share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section. Thank you!

How Many Friends Do You Have?

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(This Classic On-Purpose Minute first aired in 2009. Where I say 2010, insert 2018. Start creating friendships today so your tomorrows can be richer.)

Are you hiding behind your avatar pretending to do life?

Who really knows you?

Despite the proliferation of social media, digital connections, and the means of communicating via FaceTime, Skype, text, phone, email, and a letter, do you truly have friendships?

Facebook friends are not the same as true friends. Hiding behind our Facebook profile has become an art form but not necessarily a form of friendship. These one-way communication postures allow us to talk but not be challenged.

I’ve often said that one of our greatest fears is the fear of being known for who we really are and what we’re really thinking.

These “unmentionable secrets” create strongholds of deception that undermine our confidence or cause us not to act. Confession is a sacramental exercise for good reason. It frees the soul to be right with God, self, and others.

When no one really knows us, we can be so lost and alone in the midst of our tribe. Adding more “friends” becomes an unfulfilling addiction in our search for identity, connection, and meaning.

Perhaps you aren’t even aware there is a different way.

  • Has the number of your connections become your measure of the meaning of your life?
  • Do popularity and followers define your worth and character?
  • Have the online hours spent building your network left you busily distracted, desperately lonely, and lacking? Is something still missing?

Consider this, however: a true friend knows what doesn’t get posted on social media or knows it before it gets posted.

Try an experiment this week: Make fewer new connections and have more conversations with a handful of people whom you love or truly would like to know better. Instead of focusing on your burgeoning network, try investing in going deeper with the relationships you do have.

Begin by writing down the names of 2 to 4 people whom you identify as worthy of becoming a better friend.

  • Call them and tell them what you’re up to in terms of deepening the friendship.
  • Get together with them.
  • Grab a cup of coffee; invest yourself in what’s happening in their life.
  • Learn to listen and ask the deeper, more penetrating questions.

Instead of staying on the surface of life and activities, discover what they learned, how they felt, what concerns them, what gives them joy, and so forth. Laugh, cry, reflect, and just do life together.

Challenge yourself to add at least one true confidant to your life over the coming weeks and months.

Your reward may be a lifelong friend.

When we have friends, we can be apart from people, but not alone. Keyboards can masterfully sustain and keep true friends connected through time and distances. Having friends to talk things through, to be in the flow of one another’s lives with context and concern—now that can make all the difference!

This classic On-Purpose® Minute invites you to take a hard look around and see who is truly there standing with you. As importantly, are you at risk of being off-purpose and there’s no one there beside you to call you to task because you’re caught in the swirl of social media?

Read a summary of the Duke University research here.

How Solid Is Your Leadership?

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The self-awareness and inner strength of the leader get transmitted throughout the team, division, or business.

It is hard to see ourselves for how we really are.

  • Some of us are hard on ourselves.
  • Others of us overestimate the strength of our leadership.

There’s one defining benchmark that will clarify how solid your leadership is.

I address it in this On-Purpose Business Minute.

Have you ever been led by a solid core leader? Count your blessings!

How Can I Be a Better Leader?

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“How can I be a better leader?” is a question I am regularly asked by clients and audience members at speaking engagements. Leadership development is 1 of 3 competencies to master to increase one’s contribution and call to service.

Let’s explore the central, inescapable reality of how to be a better leader—The On-Purpose® Principle.

By understanding and applying this concept to your life and work, you’ll see that authentic leadership comes naturally rather than being a forced effort.

To become a leader, become a better you by beginning with knowing your purpose in life—your inherent worth and reason for being that live in your heart. Your purpose is an amazing gift too often buried under layers of doubt, pride, wounds, and challenges. Rather than seeing these layers as prevention from getting you to know who you really are, what if they are protection and preparation for just this time in your life to really understand the power of your two-word purpose, and being on-purpose?

Purpose is the bedrock of all leadership development.

Once you know your purpose, it will not be denied in spite of obstacles and setbacks. It works toward expression and contribution. The only person, circumstance, or condition that can stifle it is you.

Take 100% responsibility for being on-purpose (Think Inc!). Even in the worst of circumstances, you won’t get caught up in the blame game which distracts and chokes the pathway to being on-purpose.

TOPBPerson cover

Let’s take to the whiteboard for insights and practical application of the On-Purpose® Principle so you can create high alignment of your personal purpose with your organizational purpose. That’s how you can create peak or TOP performance as a leader of your life and work.

Keep the On-Purpose® Principle in mind, and you’ll discover that your matters in business, psychology, or management just got a whole lot easier and cheaper to understand and lead.

The bedrock of leadership is all about the purpose of the person being aligned with the purpose of the organization.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

P.S. Want to read and learn more about The On-Purpose® Principle? Order The On-Purpose Business Person by clicking here or buying it from amazon.com.

Is It Right to Pray For Business? (Part 2)

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Yes! Pray for Business.

My most recent On-Purpose® Business Minute, Is It Right To Pray For Business, clearly struck a chord with many viewers as the public and private comments came pouring in. Additionally, I had a record number of unsubscribers from The On-Purpose Business Minutes. Too bad for us all.

In my decades of business advisory and consulting services I’ve worked with founders of a Fortune 100 company to floundering entrepreneurs. The principles of sound and ethical business can all be found in the Bible. But if you don’t have a biblical understanding, it is hard to know that.

Purpose is a spiritual concept.

That may make you uncomfortable. Don’t let discomfort keep you from growing as a leader or growing your business. Learn to pray for business success. Matters of faith often arise in my work with leaders.

Prayer is a natural outgrowth of these engaging relationships.

Plus prayer beats talking to yourself.

Your insights and comments are always welcome below.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

Is It Right To Pray For Business Success?

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Prayer Integrates

Many of us grew up with a compartmentalized view of life. The wisdom of the day went along these lines: “Your personal life is your personal life. Your business life is your business life. Don’t mix the two.”

While there is something to be said for keeping healthy boundaries and focusing appropriately, there is a dangerous downside risk to one’s ethics and behaviors. As we separate our spiritual life from any part of life, we’re dis-integrating.

The cost of being off-purpose in real dollars and human terms is incalculable.

As we advance from the agrarian age to the industrial age to the knowledge age and head into the age of purpose and meaning, integration—not disintegration—is the norm. Central to each individual’s personal life is their spiritual life or faith. If you are inclined to pray in your personal life, perhaps the role of prayer in your business life is a concept you’ve never considered.

Can I Pray for Business and Career Success?

  • Pray unceasingly.
  • Pray from your spiritual tradition for wise guidance, profitable relationships, and right decisions.
  • Pray for your co-workers, clients, team members, vendors, and competitors(!).
  • Pray before you go into a meeting or start on a sales call.

Just don’t pray as some sort of prosperity gospel or demand on God. To pray for business success isn’t really prayer. It is a demand and expectation for a result, not a relationship. Placing your agenda ahead of God’s agenda is akin to self-idolatry. It is the arrogance of telling God you know better. Pray, but trust God for the result that is best for your maturity and growth.

Formal and Informal Prayer

There’s formal prayer where you get down on your knees in a praying position clasping your hands together and perhaps using a book of common prayer or a guide. You may be in a service at a house of worship or next to your bed saying your prayers.

There’s also informal prayer. Invite prayer to be a casual part of your everyday walking about. Take one-minute prayer breaks. You’ll be amazed how much dead time opens on your schedule.

  • Do you wait for the hot water to come or the bath to fill? Pray.
  • Do you wait for a meeting to start? Pray.
  • Do you commute to work, drive to appointments, sit at your office desk, etc.? Pray!

Recognize these seemingly empty minutes and redeem the time with a prayer.

Our Unfair Advantage by Dr. Jim Harris
Click the book cover to buy it at amazon.com

“But Kevin, I don’t know how to pray for my business.” I hear that from time to time. A great resource for you is Our Unfair Advantage, written by my Christian friend and colleague, Dr. Jim Harris. Discover the why, what, how, and importance of getting counsel from your most important “silent partner”—the Holy Spirit.

Pray, Don’t Prey

Don’t, however, prey on people or use your faith as a means to excuse yourself from excellence, rationalize your mistakes, or create personal entitlement.

If integrity is an important value to you, then be sure to hold dear forgiveness as a complementary value. Master the art of being aware of your defensiveness, calming yourself, acknowledging your errors, asking for forgiveness, and giving thanks for the lesson learned.

You’ll become a more authentic and trusted leader when you can admit and right your wrongs within the scope of your control and authority.

This On-Purpose® Business Minute explores the power of being “on the job” and praying for owners and employees alike. What do you think? Is it right to pray for business success?

Can A Leader Afford To Be Real and Authentic?

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Leaders tend to have catch phrases that direct their behavior and decisions. But what if these guiding “principles” are more style than substance when it comes to truly leading one’s life?

For example, “Never let them see you sweat!”

That’s the advice given to many a rising leader. But is it valid, or is this just the mythology of being a “strong” leader? Then again, does a truly strong leader have anything to hide?
Iron sharpening Iron

The pride of not letting others see you sweat risks closing you off to having a mentor and becoming boorishly self-referenced instead of formed and informed by the diverse views of others.

Proverbs says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Sometimes the sparks flying is exactly what’s needed.

Actor Jack Nicholson starred in the movie A Few Good Men as Col. Nathan R. Jessep. In the movie he utters the famous line, “You can’t handle the truth!” in a display of arrogance stemming from a fear of exposure.

“Be an open book,” is the advice many would instill in others.

  • Is there such a thing as too much information?
  • Do we expect our leaders to exhibit a measure of prudent transparency?
  • Where is the line of privacy?
  • Don’t we need to practice discretion and judgment?

In controversial situations, the easy way is to posture or parse a reply that caters to the audience to please the other person. To be authentic, however, may mean that you’ll pay a small price now for your candor, but down the road you’ll not have to pay the higher price from a lack of sincerity.

Scratch below the surface of your style to discover the bedrock of your guiding principles.

Then you can stand on firm ground to speak and act in a manner that is true to how you are and what you believe … and let the chips fall where they may.

To be an authentic leader requires us to know what is truly important to us. Invest in yourself to learn who you are and leading will more naturally follow.

How Good Is Your Life Plan?

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Be honest with yourself … do you know how to make a life plan?

Do you even have a plan?

Is it a written life plan?

My experience with clients and readers of The On-Purpose Person tells me very few people have any sort of a plan in place for their lives, especially a written plan. Sure, we have ideas and dreams that we ponder now and then, but to take it to the step of writing out a plan is very rare.

The process in The On-Purpose Person is a format and guide for creating a life plan that is very meaningful and gives you a strategic advantage in life.

Imagine a contractor attempting to build a house without blueprints. It makes no sense, yet many of us are building lives without the benefit of a plan.

Do you want a life plan?

Chances are you don’t know how to structure your life and process the information, so you haven’t created one. Here’s where one of our On-Purpose Personal Leadership Coaches might serve you well.

I have access to the all-time, world’s best planner. Drop me a line, briefly share your interest and the help you want. Perhaps you’ll want to meet him?

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

The On-Purpose Person and Making Life Plans:

“Without a doubt this is the best guide I have seen for creating a meaningful life and plan.”
– Dr. Malcolm E. Hawley, DDS

“The On-Purpose Person is a valuable addition to an important and growing literature on effective time management and leadership. McCarthy brings to life and makes operational powerful ideas that will help all of us make a difference.”
– John W. Rosenblum, PhD, Dean Emeritus, The Darden School

“The best tool I’ve seen for turning good intentions into positive actions. Highly recommended for anybody, but especially for those who need a way to organize unstructured time—like clergy!”
– The Right Reverend William Frey,
Dean, Trinity Episcopal School for Ministry, retired

“What’s happened to the American Dream? Despite working harder, too many people lack fulfillment, happiness, and emotional security. The On-Purpose Person gets us back on track, organized around what really matters, and equipped with a purpose and plan for thriving in a rapidly changing world.”
– Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen, D.O.
Author, Dr. A’s The Habits of Health

“Reading The On-Purpose Person changed my life. The concepts and practical applications detailed in this wonderfully engaging book empowered me to re-focus my personal and professional goals to achieve true inner peace.”
– Gordie Allen
CEO & Professional Sales Trainer, Leads-Plus, Inc.