Purpose

A "Balanced" Life

A balanced life is what I sought,

Only to have a life that was not.

My battle for balance was constantly fought,

Yet, time and again I found myself caught.

 

I planned, I managed, I strove to obtain.

With burnout, frustration, and a worn out brain.

Time I did “manage” with feelings distraught,

Where the harder I tried, the less I got.

 

A balanced life captured my thought.

Advice and coaching I often sought.

So coaches and counselors I did retain

To inspire, encourage, and help me retrain.

 

I listened and learned and did as I ought,

Yet my sense of my self continued to rot.

Day after day I did not obtain,

A life in balance – I could not sustain.

 

Daily my Father saw my deep pain,

Finally, he asked of my earnest campaign.

I told of the experts and advice I had bought.

He listened long. Then, I asked what he thought.

 

“A balanced life you will not obtain.

It’s an illusion sure to drive you insane.”

About the balanced life I so anxiously sought.

In essence he said, “All is for naught.”

 

Could my experts’ advice be words all in vain!

Dad’s contrary words were too simple and plain.

Defensive and righteous, I took a pot shot,

“If not balance, what else have you got?”

He answered, “A balanced life is what you’ve sought.

Instead, try this one simple thought:

Live your life integrated.  It will go as it ought.”

A different perspective my Father had brought.

 

Intrigued and delighted his words fell as rain,

To my parched soul truly going insane.

How do I integrate?  How do I maintain?

Were questions resounding deep in my brain.

 

“In the beginning, when you were begotten

A purpose was given, you’ve long since forgotten.

Search your heart and all its terrain.

Your purpose lies dormant, yet steadfast and fain.

 

“Ignoring your purpose causes work with strain.

Why worry about balance if it isn’t germane!

Align to your purpose, live as you ought.

Listen, my love, to the words that I’ve taught.”

 

His words were startling, and hard to contain

For Balance, my idol, he had just slain. 

No more was my stomach tied tight in a knot.

For a balanced life I no longer sought.

 

In the heart of my heart I had learned a lot

Of ordering life on Dad’s integrating thought.

Gone were failings and feelings distraught

Where the harder I tried, the less I got.

 

I’m sparked by my purpose so simple and plain.

Integration, not balance, now keeps me so sane.

The gift of hope in my heart does remain.

For being on-purpose I can surely sustain.

 

© 2011, Kevin W. McCarthy