Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Work Life Balance

How To Be On-Purpose in Business & LIfe

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You never really know how your work touches another person’s life.While I’ve known Dr. Jim for over 30 years, I had no idea until this interview the impact of our working together on his 2-word purpose. Here’s the interview in its entirety.

Jim, as you’ll see, is a bright guy with a curious mind and a steward’s heart. His strong Christian faith comes through in this interview — as does mine. Thanks to his inquisitive mind, we go deep with some on-purpose principles. Given our relationship, there’s a natural comfort in our conversation, which I hope translates into a deeper appreciation and application of your 2-word purpose.   As always, your comments are welcomed.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

Dr. Jim Harris

Do You Want More Balance in Your Life?

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Be sure to check out the free offer to download Kevin’s poem: A “Balanced” Life at the end of this post!

It seems that everyone wants more balance.

People want:

  • A higher checking account balance
  • A perfectly balanced body
  • A balanced diet

So doesn’t it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn’t replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Work–life balance is in high demand.

But do you have a true definition or image in your mind’s eye for what constitutes a proper work–life balance definition? Experience tells me that most people love the idea of work–life balance, and they’re seeking and investing in tips and techniques all too regularly but not getting the results they want. Let me save you some time!

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you. It doesn’t work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

“So why, Kevin,” you may ask, “are you such a contrarian?” No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades.

Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities.

Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is hogwash!

A life in balance is a myth.

It is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn’t work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they’re so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth!

Doing life is learning life. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

Others will claim to be so busy, overworked, and stressed that they believe more balance will finally bring them the peace, comfort, and security they’re working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today’s On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute titled “Do You Want A Balanced Life?” I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. Below, you’ll find a link to download my poem titled A “Balanced” Life.

My hope is that you’ll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort.

I’ve played the “balance your life game” in the past. No more!

Today when someone says “I want more balance in my life,” I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, “I’m hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what’s there.” No Virginia, the world is not flat.

The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed thinking despite being so broadly accepted.

So allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that’s impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn’t semantics; this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of “being out of balance.” You’ll learn to live with the joyful intensity where being “off balance” doesn’t matter and being true to yourself and more on-purpose does matter.

Replace your tiring, old concept of balance in life.

Change your “ideal” and you’ll transform your life for the better as you integrate your life rather than balance it.

To download my poem A “Balanced” Life, go to our shopping cart to get your free copy.

Is Fear Avoidable?

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My research with over 850 small business owners reveals that 32% of the respondents say fear is their greatest obstacle to success.

So what is it with fear?

Can we avoid fear? How do we overcome fear? Is fear really, as the old acronym goes, False Evidence Appearing Real?

In this On-Purpose Business Minute, let’s address the question Is Fear Avoidable? After watching the video, read The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face and what to do to conquer them.

The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face

  1. Fear of rejection
  2. Fear of success
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Fear of exposure for who I really am
  5. Fear of looking stupid or incompetent
  6. Fear of what they will think of me
  7. Fear of making money and exploitation

Overcome your fears using the “For PETE’s Sake” Approach described in The On-Purpose Business Minute:

  • Perception
  • Emotion
  • TrainingFIT 4 LEADING
  • Experience

Many fears are unnatural but very real to us.

Generally, for every fear you have, someone probably makes a living from it. So what is it they have that you don’t? Oh, For PETE’s Sake, they don’t have a thing on you. They simply have an abundance of improved Perception, Emotion, Training, and Experience. Your fear is their joy! How remarkable is that?

Dig into this topic more by reading FIT 4 Leading. This is the least known of my books and part of the On-Purpose Leadership Series. At only $10 plus shipping this small but powerful book provides you with strategies to be a better leader of your life for the rest of your life. Use the link to the book to find a free, introductory webcast at our shopping cart or visit the website.

 

Can I Profit AND Gain My Soul?

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The 3 Tips for Profiting The World AND Gaining Your Soul

  1. Guard your heart
  2. Focus on the soul of people
  3. Be about excellence on-purpose

In the book of Mark (8:36–37) it reads, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?“*

Here is a sharp warning about allowing the pursuit of such fleeting things as money, advantage, pleasures, and fame to so cloud our being that we yield our character, personal leadership, respect, dignity, and relationships. We are wise to take heed because worldly temptations are alluring, but they may not be profitable.

Alarmingly, in that last phrase in Mark, there is an oblique reference to an inevitable transaction—you will have to exchange something for your soul. What will that be?

Does this mean that profiting and soul-losing are inextricably one?

I say, “No!” We can have both. We’re designed for it. In fact, to gain our soul and profit the world is the truest standard of living. Proof: how many times have you said you want to make a difference or make a contribution in your life or your livelihood?

How many times have you felt conflicted between balancing your life and your work? (Remember that life-work balance is a myth.) Purpose integrates your life and work into a meaningful whole.

So here’s the crux of the matter—you must choose which master you will serve first and foremost.

  • What is the exchange you’re willing to make for your soul?
  • Will you first serve mankind or make a profit?

There’s a reason that your personal 2-word purpose statement has a generic beginning of, “I exist to serve by …” That’s a big hint in terms of my recommendation.

After watching this On-Purpose Business Minute, please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

  • What’s your take on the matter of gaining your soul and profiting the world?
  • Do you have an example of someone who is doing both with excellence?
  • Where is your greatest struggle with integrating what seem like two opposing masters?

* The Message is a modern translation that uses more common language to bring forth powerful principles and insights found in scripture. Here are the same verses from The Message:

“What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?”

Are You Prepared To Lose To Gain?

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In today’s On-Purpose® Minute, let’s explore the gains to be found in loss! You might be surprised just how effective loss can be to our long-term benefit.

How do you deal with loss? What is loss?

Are you prepared to have loss in order to gain?

Locallygrown-produceCould it be that loss and—more importantly—learning how to deal with loss are simply as organic to life as the vegetable section at your local Whole Foods store?

In The On-Purpose Person, I reference fighters, floaters, fleers, and flitters as “styles” for dealing with stress and life. There, you’re encouraged to be a navigator, one who leads and manages through change rather than reacting to and being a victim of it. It takes an inherent calm and peace.

As a formerly ranked tennis player, when I have been in “the zone” on the court, I play without the stress and strain of forcing my play. Things just seem to click better. The secret to getting and staying in the zone to some degree is detaching from the usual expected outcome—to win the match.

The ability to play better comes from navigating the experience positively. It is hard to keep this “above the fray” mindset, but when one does, the body and mind are able to perform seemingly without effort.

In business, on the tennis court, or on the golf course, I’ve seen far too many talented people tighten up for fear of loss. This “choking” isn’t a personal failure; it is a growing experience if we allow it to be instructive versus destructive.

Oddly, loss is important to our health, well-being, and finances because it helps us to mature and grow.

Sailors on a ship may not be aware of the big picture or have the experience to place what is happening to the ship in a proper context. A ship’s captain, however, brings the capacity to navigate the shoals and shores safely even in a storm.

If you are learning—and we’re all life-long learners—then anticipate there are situations when you are a sailor and other times when you are a captain.

Learn from your losses, and your life passage will be calmer and more productive as you gain from each loss.

What Can Your Computer Teach You About Life?

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What defines your life?

Does what defines you necessarily define your future?

In today’s On-Purpose Minute, learn to increase your “computing capacity” with a personal upgrade. Create or write the life you want. The On-Purpose Process is a straight-forward method for rebooting your life and creating what your future can become.

It sounds good, but can it really be that way for you? You never know until you try.

The Want List and Tournament process is a great place to start your journey of becoming the true you. Download the free Discovery Guide preview at http://www.discoveryguide.net and get started today with creating the life you want … on-purpose.

Click here to receive an email when I post new On-Purpose Minutes.

Will You Be a Boom or Bust?

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The following text of this On-Purpose Business Minute is dedicated to Baby Boomers, but the video is applicable to anyone in, entering, or exiting the workforce.

Think of a Baby Boomer you know—he or she may be your parents or you.

Three big trends are converging to create an economic swirl of circumstances that will define their next twenty to thirty years.

  1. Baby Boomers are now hitting retirement age in record numbers.
  2. The world economy is unstable and so are many retirement and pension plans.
  3. Baby Boomers are retiring from jobs, but not from life, or the desire (need!) to keep earning.

Many Boomers will find themselves with

  • an empty nest
  • plenty of time on their hands
  • a desire to make a difference
  • a smaller retirement nest egg or pension than anticipated

Rather than heading for assisted living, they’ll be doing a “working retirement”—some by choice and others by necessity.

So what’s your plan for retirement?

Many of your friends may be saying, “I want to retire to Florida or Arizona to play golf, eat out, see movies, read books, relax, and visit my grandchildren.” Some of you may be thinking, “I’m interested in beginning my own business.” I hope so!

Perry James is a character appearing in both The On-Purpose Person and The On-Purpose Business Person. He’s a retired gentleman who provides mentoring and consulting services to a variety of small- and medium-sized business owners.

Perry is based on a dear friend and mentor of mine—Perry Nies, an MIT graduate with a Harvard Business School MBA, and retired business executive and owner. When I was in my early thirties Perry engineered me through some true business challenges. To this day we remain friends and are connected through church. At over 90 years of age Perry is an engaged and vital contributor who still consults and is involved in ministries. He’s also a role model for many Boomers of how to have an On-Purpose retirement.

 

The Baby Boom began in 1945. Today, the wave of Baby Boomers is being presented with a remarkable opportunity to dream and plan their “retirement.” Many will become “retired professionally” but seek to keep an active hand and mind in the affairs of business and life. I know for a fact that the Millennial and Gen X Generations need their wisdom, experience, and skills. I’m at the tail end of the Baby Boom and I value their counsel.

What if the most on-purpose years of your career are just around the corner … and you never make the turn because you hadn’t planned on it?

This blog post is simply my way of putting the challenge before the retiring Baby Boomers—keep Booming (and blooming).

  • Plan new businesses
  • Outline books you’ve always wanted to write
  • Offer your talent
  • Be a mentor
  • Stay connected
  • Think ahead
  • Develop your business plan now not later

Once they’re out of the flow of activity, most never return because they’ve fallen behind and the effort to get back up to speed is overwhelming.

Avoid getting caught short at retirement without a life and work plan. Without one, you’re likely to become a Baby Buster instead of a Baby Boomer.

To Do: Begin writing what your future could be. Download the Discovery Guide to help you get started.

What’s the Deal with Time Management?

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Was this On-Purpose Business Minute a gut check in your life?

Did you come to a realization that time isn’t your challenge, but it is your lack of clarity around your values and your purpose?

You’re a person in business, especially with your busyness. You’ve heard it said, “Time is money,” and “Time is your most precious resource.”

Anxiously, you check your phones and watches; arrange calendars and appointments; sync your tablets, phones, and computers; and use many “labor saving” devices. Yet, you feel the need for more and more time and believe more tools, and—maybe—a new app will make the difference. Wrong!

Do your checklists and to-do lists just keep getting longer and longer? Does it seem that the longer you’re alive the more behind you are? Yep!

So how’s time management working for you?

Admit it if you feel like you’re squandering your time far too much of the time. Get real with yourself about it so you can actually do something about it.

Stop blaming time.

Time doesn’t care, know, feel, or think. It only on marches on.

So what is “poor time management” costing you?

  • Are you feeling stressed and stretched so thin that you’re catching yourself wondering, “Is this as good as life gets?”
  • Are you trading your days on the planet for dollars in your pocket?
  • Does having your life built on sand instead of a firm foundation leave you anxious and concerned for your future and the well-being of your family and business?
  • Are you finally ready to arrest the craziness of busyness?

Please let me help you.

We offer an 8-session one-on-one personal and professional advisory experience based on The On-Purpose Person where you will fill in the gaps within the foundation of your life and work. Over the phone, we’ll have eight 75- to 90-minute sessions that will stir your heart and disturb your thinking. And then we’ll integrate it all around what matters most for you so you’ll finally be an on-purpose person in creation.

Looking to improve your personal leadership quotient? Consider the On-Purpose Personal Leadership Coaching program. Your investment is just $1,500 and the return is a lifetime improvement in every facet of your life.

There’s also an OP Executive Coachingexecutive coaching version of the program for $4,500 where we integrate your life and business so you can do more of what you do best more profitably.