Kevin W. McCarthy, MBA & Professional Speaker

Meaningful, Memorable and Measurable Keynote Speaker

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How Many Friends Do You Have?

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(This Classic On-Purpose Minute first aired in 2009. Where I say 2010, insert 2018. Start creating friendships today so your tomorrows can be richer.)

Are you hiding behind your avatar pretending to do life?

Who really knows you?

Despite the proliferation of social media, digital connections, and the means of communicating via FaceTime, Skype, text, phone, email, and a letter, do you truly have friendships?

Facebook friends are not the same as true friends. Hiding behind our Facebook profile has become an art form but not necessarily a form of friendship. These one-way communication postures allow us to talk but not be challenged.

I’ve often said that one of our greatest fears is the fear of being known for who we really are and what we’re really thinking.

These “unmentionable secrets” create strongholds of deception that undermine our confidence or cause us not to act. Confession is a sacramental exercise for good reason. It frees the soul to be right with God, self, and others.

When no one really knows us, we can be so lost and alone in the midst of our tribe. Adding more “friends” becomes an unfulfilling addiction in our search for identity, connection, and meaning.

Perhaps you aren’t even aware there is a different way.

  • Has the number of your connections become your measure of the meaning of your life?
  • Do popularity and followers define your worth and character?
  • Have the online hours spent building your network left you busily distracted, desperately lonely, and lacking? Is something still missing?

Consider this, however: a true friend knows what doesn’t get posted on social media or knows it before it gets posted.

Try an experiment this week: Make fewer new connections and have more conversations with a handful of people whom you love or truly would like to know better. Instead of focusing on your burgeoning network, try investing in going deeper with the relationships you do have.

Begin by writing down the names of 2 to 4 people whom you identify as worthy of becoming a better friend.

  • Call them and tell them what you’re up to in terms of deepening the friendship.
  • Get together with them.
  • Grab a cup of coffee; invest yourself in what’s happening in their life.
  • Learn to listen and ask the deeper, more penetrating questions.

Instead of staying on the surface of life and activities, discover what they learned, how they felt, what concerns them, what gives them joy, and so forth. Laugh, cry, reflect, and just do life together.

Challenge yourself to add at least one true confidant to your life over the coming weeks and months.

Your reward may be a lifelong friend.

When we have friends, we can be apart from people, but not alone. Keyboards can masterfully sustain and keep true friends connected through time and distances. Having friends to talk things through, to be in the flow of one another’s lives with context and concern—now that can make all the difference!

This classic On-Purpose® Minute invites you to take a hard look around and see who is truly there standing with you. As importantly, are you at risk of being off-purpose and there’s no one there beside you to call you to task because you’re caught in the swirl of social media?

Read a summary of the Duke University research here.

How Are Your Marketing Strategy and Plans?

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Tactical terror is on the face of many a business person these days thanks to the fundamental shift in marketing due to the internet, especially as it relates to social media. Despite all the change, the core of marketing remains much the same as it has for the past 50 years. 

In today’s On-Purpose® Business Minute, may I introduce you to the importance of purpose in your marketing strategy and plans?

Purpose brings the power, spirit, or juice to the business model and marketing plan that engages employees, customers, and shareholders alike, yet each differently.

Before you design that new website or write that new brochure or ad, please give the fundamentals of great marketing the investment of your time and energy on the front end. It will save you a ton of time and money on the back end.

Having the fundamentals of marketing in place provides a higher probability that your goals will be met or exceeded.

  • Regardless of your company size, do you feel overwhelmed, confused, or frustrated with your present marketing strategy and plans?
  • Are you facing the tactical terror of chasing your tail and not getting the results you want?

Please place On-Purpose Partners  CMO Services on your mind to help you order, focus, build, and expand your business so it can go to the next level of performance. If you need help, please drop me an email at kwmccarthy@on-purpose.com.

As promised, here is a link to the Marketing Mix concept by Jerome McCarthy, the author of Basic Marketing (and who is not related to me).

What Is the Meaning of Life?

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Did you make the choice today that your life is going to be meaningful? If so, please tell me about it in the comments area below. What do you anticipate the implications of your decision will be over the rest of your life?

 

“What is the meaning of life?”

Now there’s a tiny topic hardly worth pondering! The graphic and T-shirt design below by artist Aled Lewis (used with his permission)29_the_meaning_of_life_big may provide as good a sense of “clarity” on the topic as one can find.

Kidding aside, the value of asking, “What is the meaning of life?” may be less in the answer to one of life’s big questions, but more in the very act of the inquiry.

Asking this question is a positive sign that changes in life, ideally growth and maturity, are budding.

There’s an awareness that can lead to a new life with the potential to lead to a life of purpose and meaning. Engagement in a greater reality has begun.

Change is a part of life, but a change for life needs to be self-initiated—owned if you will. Those around may demand or encourage us by saying “Change your life,” but at the end of the day, it is our responsibility and challenge.

How you go about embracing growth is up to you.

For me, my big shift change happened when I attended a Bible study of the book of Romans back in the spring of 1985. Like many, I had been searching for meaning in life. As a true student of self-help literature, I was well read in the classic and contemporary self-help writers. At some point, however, it all started to sound like the same stuff simply rehashed from a different point of view.

I was not a Christian, but I was curious and willing to give that “old and irrelevant book” and the institution of the Church a chance. The Bible, I discovered, had a ring of authenticity about it that none of my self-help books had. There were no lightning strikes or trumpets sounding.

It was mostly an intellectual pursuit to better understand

  • Who am I?
  • Why am I here?
  • What should I do with my life?
  • Is life meaningful?

The Bible was different because here was core wisdom instead of just knowledge.

What is the meaning of life?

It doesn’t matter what I say. You have to find your answer for yourself. What I will tell you, however, is this: life is meaningful!

Start with this basic assumption and go forward.

How Solid Is Your Leadership?

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The self-awareness and inner strength of the leader get transmitted throughout the team, division, or business.

It is hard to see ourselves for how we really are.

  • Some of us are hard on ourselves.
  • Others of us overestimate the strength of our leadership.

There’s one defining benchmark that will clarify how solid your leadership is.

I address it in this On-Purpose Business Minute.

Have you ever been led by a solid core leader? Count your blessings!

Where Is Your Pure Joy?

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I ask in today’s On-Purpose Minute, “Where Is Your Pure Joy?”

Life has a way of crashing in on those divine activities uniquely designed to bring us joy. I think of Eric Liddell’s statement near the end the movie Chariots of Fire and as recounted in Wikipedia:

Eric’s sister Jennie worries he is too busy running to concern himself with their mission, but Eric tells her he feels inspired: “I believe that God made me for a purpose (the mission) … , but He also made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

So what about you?

When do you feel God’s pleasure?

What activity have you been denying yourself that serves to refresh and renew your spirit, yet the cares and concerns of the world would crush? Where is your pure joy?

Please share your inspiration or thoughts in the comments section below.

Can I Profit AND Gain My Soul?

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The 3 Tips for Profiting The World AND Gaining Your Soul

  1. Guard your heart
  2. Focus on the soul of people
  3. Be about excellence on-purpose

In the book of Mark (8:36–37) it reads, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?“*

Here is a sharp warning about allowing the pursuit of such fleeting things as money, advantage, pleasures, and fame to so cloud our being that we yield our character, personal leadership, respect, dignity, and relationships. We are wise to take heed because worldly temptations are alluring, but they may not be profitable.

Alarmingly, in that last phrase in Mark, there is an oblique reference to an inevitable transaction—you will have to exchange something for your soul. What will that be?

Does this mean that profiting and soul-losing are inextricably one?

I say, “No!” We can have both. We’re designed for it. In fact, to gain our soul and profit the world is the truest standard of living. Proof: how many times have you said you want to make a difference or make a contribution in your life or your livelihood?

How many times have you felt conflicted between balancing your life and your work? (Remember that life-work balance is a myth.) Purpose integrates your life and work into a meaningful whole.

So here’s the crux of the matter—you must choose which master you will serve first and foremost.

  • What is the exchange you’re willing to make for your soul?
  • Will you first serve mankind or make a profit?

There’s a reason that your personal 2-word purpose statement has a generic beginning of, “I exist to serve by …” That’s a big hint in terms of my recommendation.

After watching this On-Purpose Business Minute, please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

  • What’s your take on the matter of gaining your soul and profiting the world?
  • Do you have an example of someone who is doing both with excellence?
  • Where is your greatest struggle with integrating what seem like two opposing masters?

* The Message is a modern translation that uses more common language to bring forth powerful principles and insights found in scripture. Here are the same verses from The Message:

“What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?”

Are You a Fathead?

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Dumb decisions come from dumb people or fatheads, right? Wrong!

We’re all subject to making poor choices.

Would you knowingly inflict brain damage on another person or yourself? Would you willingly diminish your brain capacity? Of course not! Hmmm, then again …

  • What if a particular series of your choices repeated over time is making you especially susceptible to being a fathead?
  • What if those choices were within your control and could help prevent you from the compound effect of one bad decision after another?
  • Would you be interested in learning how to improve your decision-making and to stop the waist?

At the risk of offending, this On-Purpose Minute challenges you to look down on yourself for the answer to the question, “Am I a fathead?”

Your waist size is a dead giveaway.

You’ll know immediately if you suffer from this condition while watching this video. 70% of the U.S. population is overweight or obese according to the Center for Disease Control.

This is the confession of a recovering “fathead.” In 2008, I lost 50 pounds and have kept it off since. Honestly, it has been a struggle. I discovered I was an emotional eater when I was really happy or really sad. Doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room, does it?

I found my right mind by working with Lori, my Health Coach. She gently spoke truth in love into my life and health. She provided me with a meal replacement plan plus regular food while helping me to become more mindful of what and how much I was consuming on a day-to-day basis.

You, too, can work with a Health Coach who can guide and support you in your decision to reboot your brain, bottom, and life. It is very affordable. I’m not talking about a personal trainer who will attempt to grind the pounds off you. Don’t do that! Exercise is great for toning and conditioning but lousy for weight loss. Nutrition is 600% more effective than exercise. The problem is you probably don’t really know how to create a safe, effective, portion-controlled menu for yourself.

If you have Health Coach, then really lean into what he or she has to say. Borrow Can't Out-Exercise a Bad Dietfrom their training, experience, and certification to regain your vitality, vim, and vigor.

Do you want to talk with a Health Coach? If so, I’ll make the arrangements for you. I have an affiliation with health coaches across the USA who will gladly clear your thinking. Email me for a recommendation. Each Health Coach will help your life, health, and style of living be more on-purpose. Read more: Don’t Lose Weight. Gain Health.

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Some great weight loss/health quotes:
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. – Tom Wilson
The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. –  Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave
Never eat more than you can lift. – Miss Piggy

How Can I Be a Better Leader?

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“How can I be a better leader?” is a question I am regularly asked by clients and audience members at speaking engagements. Leadership development is 1 of 3 competencies to master to increase one’s contribution and call to service.

Let’s explore the central, inescapable reality of how to be a better leader—The On-Purpose® Principle.

By understanding and applying this concept to your life and work, you’ll see that authentic leadership comes naturally rather than being a forced effort.

To become a leader, become a better you by beginning with knowing your purpose in life—your inherent worth and reason for being that live in your heart. Your purpose is an amazing gift too often buried under layers of doubt, pride, wounds, and challenges. Rather than seeing these layers as prevention from getting you to know who you really are, what if they are protection and preparation for just this time in your life to really understand the power of your two-word purpose, and being on-purpose?

Purpose is the bedrock of all leadership development.

Once you know your purpose, it will not be denied in spite of obstacles and setbacks. It works toward expression and contribution. The only person, circumstance, or condition that can stifle it is you.

Take 100% responsibility for being on-purpose (Think Inc!). Even in the worst of circumstances, you won’t get caught up in the blame game which distracts and chokes the pathway to being on-purpose.

TOPBPerson cover
click cover to purchase from amazon.com

Let’s take to the whiteboard for insights and practical application of the On-Purpose® Principle so you can create high alignment of your personal purpose with your organizational purpose. That’s how you can create peak or TOP performance as a leader of your life and work.

Keep the On-Purpose® Principle in mind, and you’ll discover that your matters in business, psychology, or management just got a whole lot easier and cheaper to understand and lead.

The bedrock of leadership is all about the purpose of the person being aligned with the purpose of the organization.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

P.S. Want to read and learn more about The On-Purpose® Principle? Order The On-Purpose Business Person by clicking here or buying it from amazon.com. In addition, there’s a 15 minute video explanation here.