Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Blog

How’s Your Self Talk?

By

Have you ever tried to break a habit?

At best, it is an awkward experience because we take ourselves off of “autopilot” and go into a “manual” mode. Things we didn’t think about … now we do. And when it comes to breaking bad habits, the bad habit can preoccupy our thinking. As a result of this heightened tension, our discomfort is more apparent to us.

Athletes learn to expect that performance may get worse before it gets better when they’re creating a new habit. Progress, not perfection, is the healthy standard of measure. Staying optimistic can be difficult in the midst of change. Remaining positive, however, is a matter of choice. Decide to stay upbeat and you will! You’ll also benefit by focusing on learning instead of “loss.”

Try the AAA Method: AAA = Awareness + Alternatives + Act on it!

Awareness, developing alternatives, and acting upon your better/best intentions (AAA) is preventive medicine for the sanity of the soul.

Habits are defined as acquired behaviors.

The implication here is that if we acquire new habits, then we can also dispose of and replace bad ones. Now there’s hope!

It’s easy to imagine our life with the benefits of our new habits. Here are some examples:

  • Smoking cessation brings savings of money; no smoky smelling breath, clothes, car, and home; and better health.
  • Getting to a healthier weight resolves or mitigates a host of weight-related conditions and diseases, such as type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Joints and backs with less weight are happier and less creaky.
  • Centering prayer, meditation, or deep breathing can reduce stress and free the mind to think more clearly.
  • Tracking your spending helps you plug wasteful expenditures and impulsive buys. You can increase your savings.

Envisioning new life is easy. Making it happen is not so easy!

The underlying premise is that we’re capable of far more than we understand or we will push ourselves. That’s why so many people turn to coaches to assist them for accountability as well as training.

Your self talk matters.

If you identify yourself with words like failure, slob, worthless, insignificant, wasteful or stupid, then you’re pronouncing lies into your present and carrying them into your future. To what benefit is this? Now that you’re Aware—Stop!

Come up with a list of Alternatives for your identity: successful, neat, worthy, significant, thrifty, and smart.

Now Act on them. If you don’t act on them then they’ll never develop and be fully assimilated in your life. This is the essence of personal leadership—the ability to turn it around by yourself or by having the humility to get the help you need.

Purpose and Passion

Personal motivation—a compelling reason, a why, a purpose—combined with a willingness to pay the price—passion—defines the outcome. That said, extraordinary moments of truth emerge in the midst of the ordinary that test our purpose against our progress. Positive thoughts may get us started but will they sustain us? We choose!

No matter the outcome, you’re learning about you!

Knowledge is powerful when put to good use, such as your self talk. So even if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do, you’re learning something new about yourself. Use your Awareness to develop an Alternative strategy that you Act upon (The AAA Method).

Moments of truth appear in our self talk: good and bad. Let’s not go down the self-deceptive path of mindless affirmations, positive talk, or positive mental attitude. Be real with yourself.

Get to the guts of the matter, the real inner conversation. The ones haunted by doubt, fear, anger, discouragement, disappointment, and hopelessness. Be equipped to choose to win. This is why I encourage you to put the AAA Method to work when your self talk becomes self-defeating.

It is like there’s a debate team living inside you. Who will win?

How’s your self talk coming along? Use the AAA Method to intervene on behalf of your new, better habit. You’ll be on-purpose and better for it.

Are Your Excuses Getting Old?

By

Listen to what you say about yourself!

Stop using your age, for example, as an excuse that prevents you from becoming and doing what is on-purpose or what is most important in your life. Age is a fact. It comes with certain physical realities—even some limitations—but why give it greater permission than it deserves to control the well-being of your life?

You get to choose your attitude about age.

BABY BOOMER & GEN X ALERT: Do not read unless you are prepared to face reality.

MILLENNIALS: Scroll down

Judith, my wife, and I offer health coaching services that help clients create a healthier, on-purpose lifestyle. Being overweight contributes to many diseases and conditions such as type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure.

Too many of our pre-clients subscribe to the “getting old” excuse to “rationalize” unhealthy choices versus accepting responsibility and actually doing something about it.

We can’t turn back the hands of time, but we don’t need to speed up the biological clock either.

The onset of aging is inevitable, even desirable considering the alternative. Edward Bulwer-Lytton‘s quotation about aging captures the essence of the choices about growing older: “It is not by the gray of the hair that one knows the age of the heart.”

Are You Maturing or Just Getting Old? is the title of a prior On-Purpose Minute. In it, viewers were confronted with a choice to mature or simply grow old. In a slightly different twist, I pose the question again: Are you resigned to your condition or will you accept responsibility?

Frankly, your “old age” excuses are getting old.

Avoid letting the measure of life be your years on the planet. It matters not whether we’re talking your health, career, attitude, finances, or whatever. You are in greater control than your age is. Don’t let hardening of your attitude be your downfall when you can harken new possibilities into being. Embrace the changing dynamics and adventures that come with time. Rather than running from them, run to them.

When chronology defines you, then the impersonal march of time becomes your master. Instead, reject the “I’m getting old” excuse and toss out the devil of your premature personal demise on his big fat red tail.

Stop willingly accepting age as an excuse for infirmities of many makings. It is one thing to age gracefully, quite another to employ it as a rationale for self-inflicted infirmities of the mind, body, and spirit. Age is a measure of a life in years, not a life sentence.

Let’s Retire Retirement

The age of retirement, even the concept of “the age of retirement,” is an artificial construct by the government or a company. Admittedly, for many it is a very important finish line in a long and productive career. And that’s all it is!

  • How might your thinking be different if the age of retirement were 80 years old instead of 65?
  • What if you had to be 70+ instead of 50+ to get an AARP or AMAC card?
  • Would you take better care of yourself?
  • Would you dream different dreams?
  • Would you invest your time differently?

Did you know that the two highest risks of mortality are birth and retirement? So, you got past the first one. Now what’s your thinking about the second highest risk factor? After traditional retirement there begins an 18-month time frame of high mortality for workers. There’s a profound link between health and the loss of feeling needed or useful.

What benefits are there to succumb to these artificial ages and deadlines?

You—the independent thinker and aspiring leader—have you bought into the cultural norm and fallen prey to the group think?

Resist the lies surrounding the age of retirement as being life-defining and health-declining. Yes, circumstances and conditions change, but your spirit and purpose are forever.

Millennial Alert, Too!

Age is not just an excuse of the senior citizens; it influences youth as well.

Excuses such as “I’m too young for anyone to take me seriously,” or “Hey, you’re only young once, so I might as well get drunk tonight,” are self-deceiving ploys often unwittingly designed to put off the inevitable maturation process of becoming a man or woman of fine character.

The “age of the heart” is timeless.

Baby boomer, Millennial, or Gen X: Choose to carry a youthful spirit, attitude, perspective, and activity in your heart regardless of the condition of your physical shell. Choose to mature into wisdom, leadership, grace, empathy, service, compassion, and well-being. That choice comes at any age. We’re blessed with the Great Generation because those who remain generally personify positive and productive choice. Think that’s a clue?

Purpose is a matter of the heart.

Explore your heart’s condition and you’ll more likely embrace the depth of your being and discover just how miraculously and wonderfully made you are and can be. You’ll also live a longer, healthier, and more meaningful life. There’s a reason why I autograph my books with “Be On-Purpose!” I want to remind you to be who you truly are and the best version of you possible.

Give yourself the gift of a joyful life by rejecting your old excuses and choose to be on-purpose.

Update: This On-Purpose Minute originally aired in March of 2011.

At that time I did start working out with Anne on the stadium steps at our local high school and got back into great shape. The point is that while age and aging is a reality—if we’re using age as an excuse—we must stop and take a hard look whether we’re painting with too broad of a brush. Stop using age, any age, as an excuse and be real about what’s really going on.

Update 2: Anne was home recently and invited me to go run the stadium steps. Game on! It had been some time, but I did 2 sets of stadium steps, felt my leg burns, and discovered what I already knew: I still have it … but not nearly as much of it! : ) I need to get back in better shape.

What Is In Your September Plan?

By


(This video mentions the year 2010. No matter the year, having a September plan is good for your business.)

Summer is almost over.

Many of us are just returning from vacation and others are just getting ready to close out the summer by heading on vacation. We’re executing on our family and personal plans put in place some months ago. Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?

Northern hemisphere is highlighted in yellow a...Image via Wikipedia

September in the Northern Hemisphere provides a restart of sorts.

It isn’t like New Year’s Day, but in a sense it can function much like it because it gives us the opportunity to finish the year strong. September is a time to reboot the business.

From now until New Year’s Eve is a great stretch to really make strides in your career or business.

But you need a plan. So let’s talk about a September Plan.

With just a couple of weeks left in August, let’s get our heads ahead of the game and start making plans today for September through the remainder of the year.

  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • Who do you need to see?
  • What decision do you need to make?

Plan now and you’ll hit September in full stride and have the momentum to carry you through the fall and into the first days of winter.

What Is Your Cost of Poor Direction and Communication?

By

At a client management roundtable I facilitated, the participants emphasized the lack of direction and communication. Their sentiments were echoed and validated by an employee survey. When asked to perform a financial assessment on the cost of poor communication and direction, within two minutes these leaders had calculated over $12 million in costs or 25% of the company’s gross revenues.

Is this high cost an exaggeration? Not at all. Their experience is typical.

Through the years I’ve invited clients to assess the cost of being off-purpose. Consistently, it is a breathtaking percentage of revenues. Here’s why: every line item on the financial statements is affected. The effect, however, is mostly indirect so the true cost is out of sight on the typical performance metrics.

Broadly insufficient direction and communication reflect on the top leaders. Experience tells me it isn’t that the top leaders won’t direct or communicate, it is that they don’t know what to communicate.

Direction and communication are deep strategic matters residing in the office of the CEO and C-suite.

Purpose, vision, missions, and values form the basis of core strategy that informs the business plan. Generalities instead of strategic clarity muddy direction and communication. When the leadership and management team are fuzzy, then the supervisory and frontline people are left guessing what to do.

Interestingly, those who “guess” better than most, get promoted. They imagine being in management will give them the opportunity to manage better than they were managed. In fact, they soon discover they’re just closer to the source of the problem and are even more exposed to the risks of managing through the mud. This can lead to a feeling of being squeezed between upper management and frontline workers.

On one hand, one wants to be loyal to their employer; yet, on the other hand, it is really hard to defend dumb policies and procedures with no basis of strategy or logic. In top management’s defense (to some degree), it is a fine line to walk between leading and managing versus dictating and micromanaging.

If you are the CEO, figure out your strategy and direction and commit yourself and your team to being true to it. Sell it consistently with great internal communication and reward right behaviors.

One of the great movie lines of all time comes from the movie Cool Hand Luke starring Paul Newman. The chain gang prison captain says to Luke after rendering a whipping on him, “What we’ve got here is … failure to communicate.” Watch Video.

Indeed, we do have … failure to communicate. Imagine being in my shoes and seeing huge gains and savings to be had in a business, yet the leader is out of the comfort of his or her experience or they assume they are communicating.

Expecting others to be mind readers is frustrating for everyone.

Purpose is the beginning of clarity in life and business. It pays big dividends to be on-purpose.

 

 

Independence Day: Set Your Resolve

By

On this remarkable anniversary, please read or watch this reading of The Declaration of Independence.

Read the Text

Resolve is the determination not to dissolve.

Over the years I have used as an illustration for the difference between purpose, vision, mission, and values the example of President Kennedy’s statement in the early 1960s: “By the end of this decade we will place a man on the moon and return him safely.”

What was it he gave us? He stated a vision and a value.

The vision was a man on the moon. The value was the sanctity of one human life.

It was not enough to walk the moon; the man had to return safely. The mission culminated in Apollo 11 on July 20, 1969 when man did walk on the moon and a few days later the astronauts returned safely to earth.

But what was the purpose?

The typical guesses are about Sputnik and the Space Race with the Russians. In fact, the purpose rests within Mr. Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence: Pursuing Happiness.

Mr. Jefferson capitalized the word “Happiness” to honor and emphasize it as a proper noun with more than a casual definition, as he did Life and Liberty. Happiness was not a moment in time; it was a way of life intentionally woven by the signers into the very fabric of the soul of the US Citizen. It was a sense that comes from

  • doing what is right
  • redressing wrongs
  • having resolve instead of dissolve

For most of us the tough times lead us to dissolve in self-doubt or a sense that we are on the wrong path because others disagree with us or it is not the popular notion. In essence, we dash our dreams and start all over.

Do we have such little opinion of the “Creator who endowed us” that we call into question our opinion? Do we so disdain ourselves that we drag down those who have resolve to make our point?

My hope is that more than a few of us embrace the opportunity to better set our resolve—to understand and to articulate our purpose, vision, mission, and values endowed by the Creator.

If we should all come to a deeper sense of our place in life, history, and the future, then each us will have the resolve to live our lives on-purpose and to know that our time on this planet did make a difference.

And, yes, we will then be living in the On-Purpose PlanetTM.

Have You Had Your Profit Epiphany?

By

Profit-making has a bad rap.

Too often we associate profit with greed.

Truth be told, greed is an attitude of the heart that is often revealed in business but isn’t inherent to being in business.

If your heart’s desire is to truly be of service to others, then greed is likely not going to be your problem. Your challenge is just the opposite—you run so far from the appearances of greed that you overdeliver and undercharge so often that your business is hanging by a thread. Check your mindset and see if I’m right!

This On-Purpose Business Minute may be just the message you need to hear to awaken you that it isn’t your marketing, sales force, or operations that needs the adjustment—it is your internal posture about profits in need of repair. 

 

Creating Customer Service Excellence?

By

Customer service is first an attitude before it is a behavior. Too often we focus on creating excellent customer service skills but we neglect the well-being and perspective of the person delivering it. How a customer is treated makes all the difference to their impression, experience, and promotion—yes, promotion—of your business.

Treat your customers right—first, because it is the right thing to do in a civil society. Second, treat them right because it is really smart business.

Do you have a concerted effort to improve the customer experience? If not, why not?

Customer service would appear to rest mostly on the shoulders of the front-line person interacting with the customer.

But does it really? Long before the customer relationship begins the top leaders of the organization hire the employees, set the standards, make investments, train managers, and create training programs.

The front-line employee is an easy target when things go wrong with customer service complaints. Admittedly, the front-line person does have a high responsibility. The fact is customer service improvement is a joint effort unified and girded by the strength of personal leadership across the entire team.

If your customer service levels have plateaued below your standards, then consider that you might have a systemic problem rather than a people challenge. Look to your business strategy, departmental cooperation, hiring, technology, training, or any number of issues under the purview of the “Customer Service” department.

Customer service skills training may provide a quick fix, but it is rarely a long-term improvement in the customer experience.

Watch this On-Purpose Minute, “Do Good Manners Matter?” about the importance of manners and the Ritz-Carlton approach to serving “ladies and gentlemen.” Having recently stayed at the Ritz-Carlton in Buckhead, GA I can tell you that this approach remains alive and well.

How On-Purpose Partners can help you

If you lead the company, you may need an assessment and recommendation to shift your corporate culture toward customer service excellence. We also offer one-on-one executive coaching as well as training and development programs designed to help your team members become TOP Performers and excellent in their customer service. Email us to arrange an appointment.