Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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What Is Your Cost of Pride?

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We businesspersons tend to be an independent breed.

We take pride in our work ethic, standards for excellence, and accomplishments. This is often what it takes to start a business, to persevere in the challenges, and then thrive.

There’s often (not always) a downside to this self-reliant trait.

This On-Purpose Business Minute invites you to consider the cost of pride especially in light of the subtitle to The On-Purpose Business Person: Do More Of What You Do Best More Profitably.

How do you know if your pride is costing you?

After watching today’s On-Purpose Business Minute, invest 159 more seconds to assess yourself with the following 10 questions:

Here are the 10 questions about pride:

  1. Do you describe yourself as a helper?
  2. Are you a low-maintenance friend or employee?
  3. Are you apt to say, “It’s just as fast to do it myself“?
  4. Do you believe “If I want something done right, I have to do it myself”?
  5. Are you one who hates to burden other people with your problems?
  6. Are you the person most people turn to for advice, wisdom, and counsel?
  7. Do you find yourself being more and more burned out and then bitter towards others?
  8. Are you easily frustrated that others can’t do what you do as fast or as well?
  9. Do you say, “I can’t afford to hire the expertise I need, so I have to learn how to do it myself”?
  10. Do you say, “I know what I need to do. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet”?

The more questions you answered with a “yes,” the more likely it is that your self-reliance is costing you more than you imagine. You are pushing people away from helping you and shouldering too much of the burden yourself.

Determine your cost of pride.

It could include job loss, slow business growth, long hours, stress, high turnover, ill health, strained relationships, being passed over for a job/raise or a hundred other costs. Do a quick assessment of your cost of pride. You may be stunned.

Share your assessment with a trusted advisor or friend. Invite them to identify what you’ve missed or where you are blind. Ask them for their opinion, be quiet, and avoid being defensive.

The simplest and most comprehensive action to take is to adopt and live into the On-Purpose Approach of Doing More of What You Do Best More Profitably.

Keep this adage in the forefront of your mind. You will prosper!

How Do I Combat Fear?

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Look at this list of fears. How many of them grip you?

Be sure to read the FEAR acronym later in this post; it’s not the “False Evidence Appearing Real” one—but that’s good too. Read on and learn how to combat fear.

  • Fear of public speaking
  • Fear of starting a business
  • Fear of being seen for who I really am
  • Fear of intimacy or closeness
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of making cold calls
  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of abandonmentfear
  • Fear of relationships
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of spiders
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of big words
  • Fear of death
  • Fear of loneliness
  • Fear of flying
  • Fear of snakes
  • Fear of people
  • Fear of a secret being revealed
  • Fear of risk
  • Fear of looking stupid
  • Fear of looking smart

The point of this partial list of fears is that fear exists.

Fear itself can be very real and dangerous.

When it comes to some fear, it is often simply a (mis)perception of reality. Fear is a normal and healthy part of life. Yes, healthy! For every fear I have, there is someone who isn’t phased in the least by the same fear. What is the difference?

Overcoming fear is a process, not necessarily an event.

It may require ongoing, progressive exposures or opportunities to face it. Here’s my quick acronym for overcoming fear.

  • F = Face it. You have a choice: flee fear or face fear. If you flee from fear, you are guaranteed a loss. If you face your fear, then you have a chance to grow and learn—a winning outcome.
  • E = Enter in. Having faced your fear, now take the first step toward what frightens you. And then take one more step beyond where you are comfortable. More, if possible.
  • A = Assess progress. What did you learn about your phobia, yourself, your perspective, your preconceived notions, your attitude, your experience, and whatever else you can glean as a positive step in growth? Even a setback holds a lesson, but you need to go into it with the understanding that it is an experiment in learning and growth.
  • R = Recalibrate. Picture your fear on a scale from 1–10. As a result of Face–Enter–Assess, what measurable—if any—improvement, growth, or learning have you experienced? Now, go back and recalibrate your fear scale.

What are your specific benefits of playing it safe rather than facing your fears?

Fear will keep you from being on-purpose. Follow the FEAR Approach and keep making progress … on-purpose.

Step 1: Face It: A Simple How-to Guide to Combat Fear

FIT 4 LEADING

Click on the cover to learn more.

In FIT 4 Leading, the “F” in FIT stands for Fear. Fear is but one of the four greatest obstacles to success faced by leaders. Several years ago, I conducted a study of small business and solo owners. Over 22% of the respondents indicated that fear is their greatest obstacle to success. So you’re not alone in your fears, but this is one place where you don’t want comfort in numbers.

Fear is an educator when we’re willing to lean into it and allow it to teach us. One strategy I suggest to help you overcome your fear(s) is the use of a coach or mentor. They come to your fear with a different experience and set of senses.

A coach can help you:

  1. Break down what’s really going on within your fear and pinpoint a more precise “definition” of your fear.
  2. Help you to see and quantify where and what your fear is costing you.
  3. Devise strategies and a plan for facing your fear in small manageable steps.
  4. Provide accountability to see that you follow through on your plan.
  5. Process your experiences of facing your fears and lessons to be learned.

Fear is an enemy of the soul and success.

Like any enemy, it can be identified, named, and defeated. But make no mistake that you’re going into combat and you want to be armed and not alone. Fear, however bad it may seem, points the way to personal growth and development.

Fear Quotes

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933

To lead is difficult when you’re a follower of fear.

T.A. Sachs

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Marie Curie

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

Anonymous

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. 

Anonymous

If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost.

Lloyd Douglas

Arden’s Book Club review of The On-Purpose Person

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May 7, 2018: Charlotte, NC: WBTV, Channel 3

The On-Purpose Person was reviewed by Arden McLaughlin in a brief segment on WBTV as part of Arden’s Book Club.

Arden says of herself, “I believe reading allows us to enter into worlds unknown and deepen our understanding of ourselves.” With her being such an avid reader reading many books per week, it is certainly an honor to be featured on her May 7, 2018 show.

Thank you Arden!

Kevin

Is Your Work Working?

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How does one meaningfully align and engage one’s heart in his or her work?

Is work truly just a job or is it an expression of something deeper?

The On-Purpose® Principle (Pp<=>Po) is about “The purpose of the person (Pp) aligned with the purpose of the organization (Po).” Today, let’s further dissect The On-Purpose Principle up close and personal.

By the way, the Purpose of the Organization doesn’t just refer to a business. A marriage, family, hospital, agency, team, department, church, or club are just a few examples of the many organizations where this is applicable.

TOPBPerson cover
Click the Cover to Purchase

So how do you make your work work?

The clean and clear articulation of your purpose is the starting point. After that, decide to infuse your purpose into your decisions and actions. Your thoughts, spiritual posture, and language will begin the shifting or (to borrow a sailing term) “coming about” to catch the full strength and flow for the design of your life.

The difference is like bumping along in your car on a washboard dirt road versus getting on the interstate. The car and driver are the same but your life is on a smooth track.

All organizational development is within The On-Purpose Principle.

If you stay on the surface of it, the simplicity of this “equation” can deceive you. Ponder it for a bit, and you’ll discover that almost all of leadership and management theory is fundamentally attempting to create high alignment and integration of the purpose of the person with the purpose of the organization.

So if you truly seek to be a leader of your life and a person others would follow, invest some time to understand The On-Purpose Principle. You can read more about it in The On-Purpose Business Person.

How Do I Simplify My Life?

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Have you reached the point where you’ve said, “Something has to change! I can’t go on living like this!”? You want to simplify your life, but then you mindlessly keep filling your schedule and piling up the work at home and on the job.

Life in the fast lane requires a vehicle designed to go fast. To do otherwise is simply gambling with one’s life. You may feel blessed with the desire to run in the fast lane. But you’ve also been blessed with the wisdom to know that level of activity can’t be sustained long-term without negative consequences.

No research studies here to reference, but my gut tells me many of us are looking to simplify life with the hopes that decluttering will offer stress relief, healthier living, and a more peaceful existence. We’re running so hard and so fast, that if we ease off the accelerator of our lives for a minute, we’re apt to discover we’re lost and without direction.

We begin asking basic and solid life questions such as:

  • “What does it really mean to be me?”
  • “How do I find direction in my life?”
  • “Who am I really?”
  • “How do I simplify my life?”

The desire to simplify our lives and the act of actually doing it are easily postponed. When a car needs maintenance, a dashboard light flashes on and we take it to the repair shop or dealer. When we need maintenance, we experience headaches, stress, grumpiness, and worse. Hypertension, adrenal fatigue, weight gain, and other risky decisions keep us flying down the highway of life in ill-maintained bodies. What do we do? We pop a pill to kill the pain or turn off the indicator.

Are you at risk of running yourself into the ground at a frenzied, unhealthy pace?

“Clutter equals postponed decisions.” That’s what my friend Barbara Hemphill, author of the Taming The Paper Tiger series and professional organizer extraordinaire, says about all the stuff surrounding us. In essence, Barbara’s telling us that physical clutter is a reflection of a life of indecision.

In the On-Purpose Approach, clutter is speedily and readily managed with the Want List and Tournament process. Download the free preview to the Discovery Guide. Use this simple process to sort and set priorities. In just about 10 minutes, your brain will be better organized, your spirit more settled, and you’ll move forward more productively. Use this tool every day with your Two Do lists or anytime you’ve got a project and can’t figure out where to start.

Let me offer a different perspective for you.

What if the demands, stresses, and strains of our modern society are actually blessings that refine and sharpen us to be more of who we are and are called to be? That means you are, in fact, an on-purpose person in creation. Perhaps this current crisis is really a conspiracy of compassion designed to bring you to your knees … for prayer and prayer alone. If so, count it all joy that you have hit your low point and can only look upward.

BONUS Video: Watch Michael W. Smith’s song Open the Eyes of My Heart. This worship song has long been a favorite of mine. If you’re in a dark place today or simply need to be uplifted, let the words of this song sink deep into your spirit.

How Much Planning Is Enough?

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“How much planning is enough?” is a question I’m often asked by business clients. It poses an interesting query because some of us are planners and others of us are more action-oriented.

There is a fine line between “gettin’ ready” and “gettin’ going.”

None of us are immune from the dilemma of how much is enough.

I see this in my business and life, and, even, authoring books and articles or producing On-Purpose Business Minutes.

Here’s one of my On-Purpose Proverbs on the topic. Perhaps it will give you a rough rule of thumb:

People who don’t have time to plan, need to plan more. People who have time to plan, need to execute more.

Figure out which one “people” you are and adjust accordingly!Image of businessman. "Planning? People who don't have time to plan, need to plan more. People who have time to plan, need to execute more."

Here’s a bit of a litmus test for you to see if you’ve got it right.

If your business is making sufficient revenue AND you have a high degree of personal and professional satisfaction PLUS you’re optimistic about the future, then chances are you’ve struck the right chord. If, however, the previous sentence doesn’t describe your current reality, then use The On-Purpose Proverb above to make a quick assessment of where you need to adjust your attention to find improvement.

Planning is typically considered to be in the wheelhouse of strengths for executive officers.

The reality is we all need to be planners to some degree. The difference in planning from the boardroom compared to the mail room is the scope and authority of the influence. The greater the authority and number of people following the plan, the more important the role of planning becomes to the organization.

Oh! One last thing. When doing planning, please make sure you execute on at least one thing: create a written plan, even if your plan is as simple as a “to do list” with names and dates. The “I Got It Right Here Between My Ears Plan” is really a dream without a deadline, details, and typically, satisfying results. You’re too at-risk of being distracted by shining new objects that cross your path.

“The executive of the future will be rated by his ability to anticipate his problems rather than to meet them as they come.” — Howard Coonley

 

Admit it! You’re prone to unproductive distractions, but chances are if you’re a person who invests time to watch the On-Purpose Business Minutes, then you’re committed to working on you, to becoming a better person and leader. What tips or suggestions can you offer us? Please use the comment section below to share your wisdom and school of hard knocks lessons learned.

Are You In The Midst Of A Tough Shift? (part 3)

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(This video was originally recorded on Valentine’s Day. Every day should engage your heart.)

Purpose is a matter of the heart!

Far too often we tend to think of the heart as a weak or soft place subject to vulnerability. Nothing is further from the truth. We’re most at risk when we don’t know the depth of our heart or who we are.

Your 2-word purpose statement is an expression of your heart that gives your head a way to use, remember, and engage the true strength of who you are. Not knowing your heart is a disadvantage avoidable only by you.

Would you like help in discovering your 2-word Personal Purpose Statement?

Go to ONPURPOSE.me. ONPURPOSE.me logoThis online app will guide you through a process of selecting a purpose statement, plus you’ll receive a 10-email course that’s practical to being on-purpose. The limited-time reduced launch price is currently available.

The graphic I’m using to illustration the heart and head relationship is called The On-Purpose Pal. He’s introduced in The On-Purpose Business Person and has advanced to a big part of all things On-Purpose. The “OP Pal” graces The On-Purpose Poster that clarifies the language of leadership: Purpose, Vision, Missions, and Values.

How Are You Learning to Be in Business?

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Most people in business really don’t know what they are doing when it comes to the business of business.

It doesn’t mean they aren’t successful. It means they generally aren’t as successful as they could be. In a moment of candor, most of us will tell you that we’re plowing into virgin territory regularly. And what we’re doing for continuing education is generally a hodgepodge from a variety of sources.

A great solution is to join a peer learning group. More on those later in this post.

If you own a business and you don’t understand the foundations of business, then you’re likely functioning at 50% or less of your potential. Where else can you get an ROI (return on investment) like that for such little effort and energy expended?

Learn to be a Business Person

Most management and business training tend to be job specific or skills related. Overlooked are the fundamental concepts of business, the free enterprise system, and basics of what is called “general management” and business leadership. It is expensive to learn the basics of business.

Most businesses are built by—as Michael Gerber, author of The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It, calls them—technicians who have an entrepreneurial seizure. They haven’t got a clue about being in business. Look no further than the professions of engineering, medicine, and law, for example, for really smart people who often don’t have a clue how to do business but are in business or own one. At least the professions have enough honesty to call them practices instead of businesses. : )

For years I’ve asked the question, “How did you learn how to do business?” The typical response is “School of Hard Knocks.” In other words, trial and error is the teacher—a cruel one at that. Check out the results of this small study I conducted with attendees of a previous webinar. (click on it to see a full-size version)

How Did You Learn to Do Business A small percentage of people have undergraduate business degrees or an MBA.

Candidly, as a man with both an undergraduate business degree (BS from Lehigh University) and an MBA (University of Virginia Darden Graduate School of Business Administration), I’ll confess my college degrees prepared me with concepts, tools, language, and business context. They didn’t, however, turn me into a businessman. Degrees accelerate learning but they don’t make the person quite like being on the job does. We can’t avoid the School of Hard Knocks, but we can be prepared to learn the lessons faster, smarter, and less hard.

Becoming a Better Business Person

What are some of the ways to improve as a business person?

  1. Business consultants are an effective means for business improvement. Match a consultant’s strengths to your weaknesses and your business will prosper. Use consultants to set-up, fix, and refine systems where you lack the expertise or time to learn. This is especially helpful for those one-time set-ups such as an accounting system, putting up a website, or succession planning.
  2. Executive and business coaching are ways to improve as a business person on the job. Having someone come alongside and “teach you to fish” is important.
  3. Peer business owners outside and inside your industry. Generally, these are casual meetings where you learn from one another. Golf is often played!
  4. Associations often provide industry-specific training and resources. Tap into your association and see what they have to offer. Another great source is your Chamber of Commerce or local business development center. They often provide very reasonably priced training with local experts.
  5. Read books on business and leadership: Shameless plOP Book covers stretchedug coming … Read The On-Purpose Business Person and The On-Purpose Person. Together they lay the groundwork for leading a business and leading your life.
  6. Peer Learning to the rescue: One of the most overlooked programs for business training is non-competitive, facilitated, peer learning groups. In Napoleon Hill’s classic book Think and Grow Rich, he introduces the business idea of mastermind groups. These are generally self-managed versus having third-party facilitators who prepare the agenda and lead the group. Peer learning groups are also called business roundtables or CEO groups. The power of having peer learning grows your learning exponentially because the groups typically involve business training, reading business books, special learning programs, or technologies. In other words, they combine all the ways we learn plus the many benefits I’ve outlined in this On-Purpose Business Minute.

Here are some recommended resources for peer learning groups:

  • CEO: Colleagues of Executive Online: John Smith, the founder of CEO, pioneered the concepts of business roundtables for Christians in 1989. In April of 1990, I joined one of John’s CEO groups. He’s been a mentor and friend ever since. John now offers virtual groups leveraging video conferencing. I’m a co-chair of a group with John.
  • Vistage International: I know several people who participate in, speak to, or chair Vistage groups. Generally, Vistage members are running businesses with a minimum of ten or more employees. Dave Zerfoss in Charlotte, NC, is a personal friend and top-notch chair. Connect with him directly if this interests you.
  • C12: I know Buck Jacobs, the founder of C12, as well as many members and chairs. C12 is designed for the Christian business person. In Orlando, connect with Kevin Respress.
  • Peerspectives Roundtables: Peerspectives is both a group as well as a specific technique developed by the Edward Lowe Foundation. The Peerspectives technique provides a structured approach to problem-solving and sharing. A friend of mine, Steve Quello, uses this approach in Florida.
  • Christian Roundtable Groups are sponsored by Truth@Work and are designed for solo owner or SOHO operators.
  • The Advisory Board has been around for decades. I don’t have personal experience or relationships there but given its long-standing presence, I have to believe they offer excellent value and opportunity to grow.

So there’s my short list of recommendations for bolstering your business skills, concepts, and relationships. If you are serious about growing your business to the next level, then run, don’t walk to find yourself a peer learning group.