Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Work and Family

How’s Work?

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How’s work?

There’s a question we often get asked. The typical response is something like “Fine” or “OK.”

But is it really?

For many people work translates into a job—a mere means of provision to support the family. A steady income doesn’t mean a steady life.

Work isn’t necessarily fulfilling or rewarding at a deeper level.

It is just a paycheck on the way to the weekend where real life is lived. In today’s economy, it is easy to look around and feel lucky just to have the regular income.how's work

A sad reflection of this reality is the current trend of companies offering work-life balance programs in the workplace. But work-life balance is a myth. These programs, regardless of how well intended they are, reveal a sad reality on both the employer and the employee side.

Our lives and our work are so dangerously enmeshed that we need help separating ourselves from our work.

We’re workaholics in jobs that don’t really matter to us all that much. In other words, fear of loss motivates us more than what we have to gain. Too many of us are resigned to an unhealthy settling for work-life balance as an easy compromise over developing a healthy work-life integration. Have we just given up hope?

Isn’t all this talk of work-life balance code for “my job is sucking the very life out of me, but I need it to pay the bills, so I guess I will die trying to make it work”?

Fortunately, someone in HR has figured out that if we can equip you to learn work-life balance you won’t burn out or die as quickly on the job. This means you’ll keep being productive and won’t be such a drain on the company health care benefits program for a while longer.

Is it just me or is there something horribly skewed in this picture?

What if life and work are true blessings where work is a high and noble expression of our calling—and a steady income? Is this possible?

Can life and work be meaningfully integrated instead of separated and balanced?

Tell me if I’m wrong.

Why Do You Work?

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How many times do you say, “I’m off to work”?

Does saying that conjure up light bulb with quotation "Are you being and becoming, or just selling out?"emotions of joy and excitement, or do your teeth clench and does your stomach churn and turn?

Your answer to this question goes to the heart of your life, health, and well-being in your spirit.

  • Are you one of the fortunate people who loves their work and has skillfully integrated (not “achieved” a work–life balance) the lines between work and life?
  • Have you become so fully integrated that you are on-purpose in business and in life? Are you compromising or being conditioned for your next great assignment?
  • Are you selling your soul or sailing along on-purpose?

Lots of questions for you to ponder.

Does thinking about this sound like work to you?

Sooner or later you will either answer the questions or pay the price for not answering them.

Got a comment to make? Go for it below. Let me hear from you.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

Do You Want A Balanced Life?

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Download A Balanced Life

Do you want balance in your life?

If you said “Yes!” then chances are you’re singing what I call the “Work-Life Balance Blues,” a sad song of addictive striving but never arriving.

In a previous blog post titled Striving for Balance, I shared my thoughts about this misguided yet pervasive notion that you can obtain balance your life.

It is hogwash and the sooner you come to understand this, the sooner you’ll be able to get on with your life.

In today’s On-Purpose Minute, I share “The Balanced Life,” a poem I wrote back in 2004. My hope is you’ll begin to see the folly in living the false ideal of a balanced life. At the top of this post, there is a link to download the poem.

Now, let’s touch on the alternative approach to living your life: integrating your life.

So just how does one integrate life? Integration needs a point of integration. Here is where knowing your 2-word personal purpose statement is essential. If you don’t know who you are, then any old you can show up anytime. A great place to start learning about your 2-word purpose statement is our newly launched online tool that helps you know your purpose. Visit ONPURPOSE.me for more information.

The absence of a unifying identity leaves us at risk of dis-integrating. Very simply, your life is either integrating or disintegrating—being pulled together or torn apart.

Beginning in the 1970s, people would talk about “getting my life together.” Implied in this fragmented existence is the longing to be whole and peaceful.

Balance is a devilish “ideal.” Balance pits two opposing forces against each other to create a fragile momentary emotional truce. Balance is marketed as being so sane and wholesome. Yet it is insanity and destructive.

Seeking balance avoids the deeper questions of life and leaves us thirsting to do more, earn more, and to “have it all.” Sadly, the risks of obtaining balance in one’s life produce just the opposite effect of the desired outcome. Instead, we’re running hard and fast, busy, burdened, always feeling behind, incomplete, and ragged mentally and physically. Unquenched, we press onward in a lost war of static attrition until finally we crash and burn out on the sidelines of life.

Integration is a divine gift, a workable progression rather than an unstable state of frenzied efforts. When you are approaching oneness of body, mind, and spirit, you’re moving toward a more productive and positive state of practical living. Your focus shifts from a fragile existence built on sandy soil to the solid bedrock of your inherent essence.

Integration demands a unifying core — a point that forms, informs, and transforms the realities of the world. This window on the world helps us to make sense of the senselessness and to find meaning in the otherwise absurd.

Purpose is your dynamic point of integration.

Integrate your life around your purpose so you can be on-purpose.

Cut yourself free from the balanced life mantra that kills your energy and spirit with a distracting illusion. You don’t want a balanced life because it can’t be had. Live your life integrated around your purpose, and you’ll inevitably be an on-purpose person in creation.

Humility Matters: Who Is Keeping You Real?

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So you think you have this on-purpose thing mastered in your work life?

Yep, as you’re getting more and more on-purpose you’re being sought and placed into positions of leadership. Your star is rising.

Now for the bad news — there’s a downside to being on-purpose.

Guard against the arrogance of being on-purpose or, ironically, you’ll end up being off-purpose.

Success can breed a winner’s arrogance versus a servant leader’s confidence and humility.

Who is keeping you grounded and real? It better be someone!

Are you a business leader looking for an executive coach to give you a true perspective on your personal self-importance reading? Below are some great referrals for you and me. Tell ’em I sent you.

1. Mary Tomlinson in Raleigh, NC. Email Mary. Mary has a stellar corporate executive background at Walt Disney World plus 16 years of being an independent coach, consultant, and speaker.

2. John Smith (yes, his real name), my mentor. Email John. John has a decades-long career in the ministry of serving CEOs.

3. Dave Vogelpohl is a senior-level business advisor with both big business experience and small business consulting insights. In recent years, Dave has been doing a lot of church consulting—when I’m not bugging him to help me sort out options.

4. Kevin W. McCarthy. Yes, I’m available for business advisory services to help individuals and organizations to be on-purpose.

Are You Thinking of Starting a Business?

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Economic tough times, job loss, greater expression, or the chance to be your own boss are just some of the reasons people start a business. The barriers to entry are relatively low and the opportunities for success often appear high.

The hurdles to success, however, are hidden at the start but invariably emerge. Be aware of what lies ahead and you increase your odds of winning.

Looking for some help with either starting or running your business?

On-Purpose Partners provides business advisory services. Our clients and customers have spanned from Founders and CEOs of Fortune 500 companies to wannabe entrepreneurs.

If your business is less than $2 million in sales, you can hire me to help you with our On-Purpose Executive Coaching.

Can’t afford much?

  • The On-Purpose Business Person is available in softcover or Kindle e-book.
  • The Service Model is an inexpensive tool to help you plan your business, anticipate what’s coming, and understand the relationships of one level of the business to the next. Order one, just one, because you can print more from the PDF.

Here’s the bottom line for your business start-up (or ongoing venture): invest the time to articulate your purpose, vision, missions, and values.

Until you know

  • who you are
  • why you are here
  • where you are going
  • and what’s important

you’re really at a major and costly strategic disadvantage.

When it comes to your small business start-up or ongoing enterprise, give yourself every advantage by being on-purpose.

 

Is Your Business Running You Ragged?

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If your business is running you ragged, then it means you’re using old strategies in the new economy.

Is it time for an update? Perhaps this holiday season is a time to contemplate and reconsider your priorities.

In the 20th Century’s Industrial Age, much of the prevailing “wisdom” of the day was along this line of thinking: “Keep your personal life separated from your business life.” This compartmentalized approach to life provided clear lines between work and family. By and large, it worked to preserve a certain measure of sanity for much of the industrialized population that was engaged in routine, mindless work.

The downside of separation, however, is the dehumanizing of workers and poor business ethics.

When people are human resources then they are assets—commodities bought and sold by management. When we act one way on Sunday and another way on Monday, our decisions are easier and expedient but not necessarily morally sound or even best business practices.

The 21st Century, however, is in full swing into the Knowledge Age and the knowledge worker.

Separation of one’s work and life isn’t so easy because we carry our work in our heads.

It was easy to walk away from a milling machine, but keyboards surround us at work, at home, and on our smartphones and tablets. The lines between home and work are blurred beyond recognition.

The situation is so severe that many service companies offer “Work–Life Balance” programs to address the growing problem of employee workaholism, health, and burnout. Time management is nearly a joke anymore in this 24/7 society where our noses are glued to our apps.

Now as we stand on the edge of the Age of Purpose and Meaning where separation is a liability, just what are we supposed to do?

Do we separate? Do we balance?

The On-Purpose® Approach provides answers for the New Age. Balance in your life is a false ideal. (See: Do You Want A Balanced Life?) The 21st Century way of doing life and work is integration with healthy boundaries.

An integrated life has a point of integration—your purpose.

The more we are pushed upon, the more we need to know who we are and what is our purpose in life so we can resist, rest, and rebound. A solid core to our life enables us to establish appropriate boundaries so “Our yes can be yes, and our no can be no.” The risks of not knowing who we are is unhealthy to our body, mind, and spirit.

Gain Health! Gain Your Life!

When your business is running you, then you’re not running your life. Use the On-Purpose® Approach to run ahead and find the margin you need. The On-Purpose Peace and The On-Purpose Person set is an amazing coaching or small group experience to help you get ahead of your life so you’re in charge and on-purpose.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin