Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

success

Is Fear Avoidable?

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My research with over 850 small business owners reveals that 32% of the respondents say fear is their greatest obstacle to success.

So what is it with fear?

Can we avoid fear? How do we overcome fear? Is fear really, as the old acronym goes, False Evidence Appearing Real?

In this On-Purpose Business Minute, let’s address the question Is Fear Avoidable? After watching the video, read The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face and what to do to conquer them.

The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face

  1. Fear of rejection
  2. Fear of success
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Fear of exposure for who I really am
  5. Fear of looking stupid or incompetent
  6. Fear of what they will think of me
  7. Fear of making money and exploitation

Overcome your fears using the “For PETE’s Sake” Approach described in The On-Purpose Business Minute:

  • Perception
  • Emotion
  • TrainingFIT 4 LEADING
  • Experience

Many fears are unnatural but very real to us.

Generally, for every fear you have, someone probably makes a living from it. So what is it they have that you don’t? Oh, For PETE’s Sake, they don’t have a thing on you. They simply have an abundance of improved Perception, Emotion, Training, and Experience. Your fear is their joy! How remarkable is that?

Dig into this topic more by reading FIT 4 Leading. This is the least known of my books and part of the On-Purpose Leadership Series. At only $10 plus shipping this small but powerful book provides you with strategies to be a better leader of your life for the rest of your life. Use the link to the book to find a free, introductory webcast at our shopping cart or visit the website.

 

Are You A Success and Feeling Successful?

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Success takes on a different meaning for each of us.

For those of us with high and noble ambitions success is mostly momentary. Success opens our eyes to new vistas off on the future horizon that are only reached by going back down the mountain, into the valley, and climbing the next higher mountaintop. It’s work disguised as adventure and the exploration of possibilities.

Far too often I suffer from feelings of failure because of all that I imagine and have yet to accomplish.

Recognizing success is different, however, from resting in it.

It’s odd how sometimes I can be restful and satisfied, yet at other times so restless and frustrated. What gives with that?

Unfulfilled ambition easily draws me into being a smaller, stingier, melancholy occupant of my being. I don’t like me in these flashes of embracing failure. My 30-plus–year quest of pioneering the planet to be on-purpose continues to be a financial battle to fund the next project on the horizon. Fighting feelings of frustration, nonrecognition, and financial shortfall wear away at my heart in doses of discouragement.

When I find myself tending toward hoarding and worry, I know for a fact that my better character is not at work. That devil of fear is pounding on the door of my heart and I have to decide whether to let him enter or tell him to go away.

To regain my sense of perspective and rejuvenation, I force myself to reconsider my personal and professional accomplishments over the long haul. Counting my current blessings fills me with a gracious gratitude and a spirit of generosity.

Whether it be 30+ years of marriage, a son and daughter who make me proud, two truly best-selling books in The On-Purpose Person and The On-Purpose Business Person, and more—much more—I’ve learned that none of “my success” was done by me alone. I’ve been forever surrounded by a supportive cast of family, co-workers, friends, classmates, and colleagues who’ve each invested in my work and life. Love has uplifted everything “I’ve ever accomplished.”

Success QuoteI’ve also dealt with people who “throw bricks” by stealing, cheating, lying, and taking advantage of me when I trusted. About every 7 years I get a major AFGE (Another Frigging Growing Experience) that keeps me from a sense of self-importance.

These “lessons” have made me wiser and stronger.

The biblical concept of the tithe (See The On-Purpose Person in the chapter titled “Giving”) is remarkably practical on this point of managing success and failure. Tithing is designed to be a joyful, intentional, and proportional (10+%) expression of our time, talent, and treasure (our success). For our benefit, the tithe offers us a periodic and healthy time for reflection regardless of the size of our accomplishments.

Giving can be off-purpose when used to control, manipulate, or lord it over another. Giving is free and without strings attached. Investment, however, comes with expectations, controls, terms, conditions, and covenants. You can be a giver and you can be an investor—just acknowledge the difference when you’re in the act.

When giving, discretion and discernment are our allies. Stewardship matters. We’re not to be gamblers in our giving but we are to take risks by stretching our comfort zones so our faith and trust are extended.

Giving freely, not from duty or obligation, is the healthy outpouring of a successful soul. This kind of success and giving are knit together. You can’t have one without the other. As my friend Steve Brown of Key Life Ministries would say, “Now, you think about that.”

 

Have You Bought A Lie?

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Have You Bought a Lie? If so, it’s time to put it in the trash.

In the video portion of this On-Purpose Minute, I describe the “IABC” four types of lies we hold on to for all the wrong reasons.

  • Image
  • Attitude
  • Belief
  • Concept

Words are creative. Words come to life.

Many of us have had lying or hurtful words spoken into our lives in our innocence and/or in our adulthood. What we do next is up to us. Here are some tips to being whole.

Welcome truth, thirst for it, accept its pain, and embrace its liberation. In helping people to be on-purpose, I frequently come against seemingly irrational and obtuse behaviors from otherwise very accomplished and respected persons even in the face of contrary evidence. It’s their “old stuff” and patterns haunting their present and diminishing their future.

Why?

Words, more precisely lying or hurtful words, spoken into ourtruth lives by those closest to us or in whose care we depend strike hard on the soul. Lies falsely tarnish our self-image, attitude, behavior, or concept.

We pay dearly … for life unless we intervene. Holding on to the wounding is like tearing off a scab day after day and wondering why it doesn’t heal. The first offense is not of our making. The second offense, however, is all on us.

Forgiveness is the key.

Judith and I have an expression about forgiveness. “Forgive now and pray for sincerity to come later.” Forgiving someone who has hurt or offended you can be extraordinarily difficult, even painful, but it is the ONLY pathway I’ve found to MY recovery. It may or may not lead to reconciliation and recovery, but at least the injury stops hurting so much and with time, 99% recovery is possible.

Weighty Matters

Perhaps you think these self-deceptions or denial of damage are harmless? Hardly! They can literally have life and death consequences.

For example, within the health coaching team of On-Purpose Partners, we find the following kinds of Images, Attitudes, Beliefs, and Concepts can prevent clients from being qualified candidates for success in our program.

  • Image: I can’t imagine myself at a healthy weight anymore.
  • Attitude: I know what to do; I just don’t do it.
  • Beliefs: My family has always been big.
  • Concepts: I just don’t get enough exercise.

These mythologies of weight loss are factually inaccurate and crippling to us being in a healthier place. Even clients with the deepest desire to get healthy will scuttle their success unless and until they are aware of their personal mythology and clinging to old wounds that affect their well-being today. Coaching clients to health is more about their life experiences and views than it is our program. The program works, but will the client work the program?

You’ve seen the price of pain! Most of us are emotional abusers of some “drug of choice,” such as food, alcohol, smoking, drugs, shopping, or a host of other addictions. Think there isn’t pain? Ashley Madison had 36 million paid members who knowingly were seeking discreet affairs outside of marriage. Consider the trauma of a divorce, pain to the children, and the lawyers’ bills.

Lies are the words that keep on taking.

Lies we buy make it that much harder to sell our ideas, opportunities, and opinions. Lies steal from our livelihood and sap our worth. Lies corrode our productivity and undermine our careers.

Are you ready to uproot lies with greater truths? It begins by being open to living in truth. With truth comes greater freedom and abundance.

Do you have a coach or a health coach? Then share this On-Purpose Minute with them. Consider giving them permission to help you identify any lies or festering wounds. Ask them to help you work through forgiveness of the offending party, even if it is you.

Counselors and clergy are great sources of recovery. Clergy are especially versed in the area of forgiveness.

Do you need a coach? Certainly we offer life coaching to unburden your image001spirit and health coaching to relieve your joints and back from the physical burdens weighing on you. Contact Judith McCarthy for a free health coaching consultation so you, too, can get to your healthier place.

What Is In Your September Plan?

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(This video mentions the year 2010. No matter the year, having a September plan is good for your business.)

Summer is almost over.

Many of us are just returning from vacation and others are just getting ready to close out the summer by heading on vacation. We’re executing on our family and personal plans put in place some months ago. Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?

Northern hemisphere is highlighted in yellow a...Image via Wikipedia

September in the Northern Hemisphere provides a restart of sorts.

It isn’t like New Year’s Day, but in a sense it can function much like it because it gives us the opportunity to finish the year strong. September is a time to reboot the business.

From now until New Year’s Eve is a great stretch to really make strides in your career or business.

But you need a plan. So let’s talk about a September Plan.

With just a couple of weeks left in August, let’s get our heads ahead of the game and start making plans today for September through the remainder of the year.

  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • Who do you need to see?
  • What decision do you need to make?

Plan now and you’ll hit September in full stride and have the momentum to carry you through the fall and into the first days of winter.

Are You Feeling Successful?

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Success! Everyone wants it. Olympic Games dramatically remind us that success on the podium with a gold medal is a vaunted position. The discipline of hard work, sacrifice, and a coachable attitude comes with a remarkable reward and distinction for the rest of the athlete’s life.

Success also comes with responsibility if we choose to acknowledge and embrace the opportunities it opens commercially and influentially. Whether it is in sports, business, or the home, success sets one apart as having garnered an achievement. There is the event itself, but true success can be thought of as what one does after the accomplishment.

Success in life, however, is rarely recognized when compared to the fields of endeavor in sports and business. The only gold medal most moms get will be in their choice of flour for baking. 

Several years ago I was working out at the local high school stadium by running the stadium steps. As I crossed the track to go into the stands, a young, extraordinarily fit African-American woman sat stretching. We smiled and acknowledged one another. Moments later I saw one of the fastest human beings I’ve ever seen in person move down the track in a 100 meter sprint. She was scary fast. At the finish line stood her coach with his stop watch in hand. As I jogged my up-and-down stadium steps circuit through the bleachers I watched this scenario replay out several more times.

Curious, I stopped to talk with her coach. “What’s she training for?” I asked. He smiled, “She got back from the Summer Olympic Trials and didn’t make the team. She has a slightly hurt knee and she’s mad at herself for not qualifying.” He excused himself for just under 11 seconds to time her as she swished by the finish line yet again in a Nike moment.

Success for her meant making the Olympic team, but it wasn’t to be. This young lady is no failure, however, unless she decided to limit her success to being an Olympian or winning a gold medal — fleeting accomplishments instead of permanent character qualities. She’s learning the power of setting goals, managing disappointment, working hard, being coachable, self-discovery, and much more that will serve her for life.

Years ago I was a speaker at a convention of general agents in the life insurance business as a non-industry expert. Also presenting was a general agent who spoke in his bold and glowing “How I did it” terms to the awestruck adoring throng of gathered general agents. He talked about reaching a billion dollars in commissions in one year. This man had the swagger and air of gold medal success. 

Afterwards, I waited my turn to chat with him. One question I asked him metaphorically knocked him to the ground, “Now that you’ve reached a billion, what’s next?” He had invested decades in this “impossible dream” and had reached his tallest imaginable podium. Panic washed across his face. He didn’t have a clue what to do next with his life! A couple of decades later I’m happy to report that he has created a business to teach other insurance agents what he learned so others can follow in his footsteps.

Back to our young sprinter: she may not yet have achieved her Olympic dream but the character, discipline, and willingness to be coached are life skills few people ever master. She’s learned to set goals, to discover her inner motivation, and to work hard. Success comes in many forms often with the rare blessing of the gold medal, but more often than not without the #1 in the world standing for one brief, shining moment. For the other competitors, success is often wrapped in the intangible qualities of having been in the game as a fierce competitor playing to a world class standard to the best of one’s ability. 

The popular movie Rudy is a bright example of how becoming a success can be measured on one’s own terms. Gold medals come and go, but golden moments last a lifetime and need to be cherished for whom we have become on the inside and how we pass along our life lessons. If we dwell too long on the agony of external defeat, then we risk becoming bitter and defeated as our identity was gold-plated. The true solid gold victory is that of becoming a better person on the inside and passing it along.

Success Modeled By Don Budge

As a former USPTA tennis teaching professional and ranked player, I had the rare privilege of getting to know and sometimes play against or with former world class tennis professionals. Aside from their remarkable physical attributes there is typically a marked difference in their thinking, attitude, and point of view. The game is simpler and clearer to them. They possess a quietness of mind and capacity to zone into the experience thanks to preparation and practice. Success, therefore, is expected. The champion, however, has learned to face on-the-court failure repeatedly in such a manner that the disappointment of loss is not failure, per se, but revelation of and a pathway of growth to the next level.

As a young tennis player I had a wonderful personal relationship with Don Budge, the first person to win the Grand Slam in one calendar year (1938). Mr. Budge told the story of winning a national championship one year and returning home in deep dismay. He realized his western forehand grip on his wooden racquet was his Achilles’ heel. In those days, it would be exploited by more advanced competitors and prevent him from reaching the next level. He called that his year of having permission to hit the (back) fences. With a rebuilt grip, his forehand stroke was solid and eventually he became the greatest tennis player of his era. Some forty years later, I had the pleasure to know and work with this true champion when I was 17 and 18. Some forty plus years after that, I still think of the character of the man even more than his accomplishments which included winning the Sullivan Award for Sportsmanship. Mr. Budge was the real deal through and through.

Find success by defining what is YOUR success. Apply yourself to it with your heart, mind, soul, and spirit. Certainly strive to create the external win. As important, acknowledge the internal win of becoming more the person God designed you to be and become. That’s the platinum medal that isn’t awarded but is earned as a lifetime achievement daily. That’s what it means to be on-purpose!

But don’t stop there! Learn to pay it forward and bring others along with you so they, too, can discover their genius and contribution.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

 

Are You Feeling Successful?

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You are more successful and, frankly, abundantly blessed than you realize! Success is measured in many ways, but what if the real measure of success is not in what you get but in what you give. Later on in this post, watch the video below and learn how $10 can give you a chance to transform your perspective and the life of another person on the planet.

There’s a mental snare that catches many of us. The thinking goes along the lines of, “When I have plenty, I’ll give from my excess.” Your willing spirit is being derailed by a misconception of abundance. It is the donor equivalent of seeing the glass half empty. You already have everything you need to be generous.

Years ago, a friend showed me a website called The Global Rich List. You enter an income and it shows you where you stack up in the world in terms of wealth given the 7.3+ billion people on the planet. For example:

  • If you make US$30,000 per year, you are in the top 1.23% of worldwide wage earners and rank as the 73,638,782th top wage earner.
  • If you make US$60,000 per year, you are in the top 0.19% of worldwide wage earners and rank as the 11,425,778th top wage earner.
  • If you make US$100,000 per year, you are in the top 0.08% of worldwide wage earners and rank as the 5,067,405th top wage earner.
  • If you make US$225,000 per year, you are in the top 0.04% of worldwide wage earners and rank as the 2,359,669th top wage earner.

Chances are that if you’re reading these words, you are in the top 2% of the world in terms of income. You have an abundance already. You’re just seeing a 100-ounce glass that’s missing 2 ounces as being 50% empty. In other words, by financial standards, you are successful on the scope of the planet.

Avoid getting caught up in what you don’t have. Appreciate what you do have and become a better steward. Give from your existing abundance.

The $10 Idea to Make A Difference

Ready to put your newfound nearly full glass of abundance to work? Here’s an idea for you. Find a meaningful way to give away $10 to any charity or person you meet today.

The only attached string is that I want you to feel the prompting of your spirit that this will be meaningful to the person receiving it. It can be a gift of charity, or of appreciation, or simply a love gift. It can be a stranger or someone close to you. There are no rules except you need to feel prompted to do it.

Repeat The $10 Idea again if you feel prompted.

Top 2%er in the World … Need an Idea? How about Clean Water?

Keri Kuffel, my friend, is running in the Orlando Utilities Commission half-marathon to raise money for charity:water. I’ve given $25. How about you? Please donate $10+ to her effort using this link.

The Bible tells us in Luke 12:48b (NIV), “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

You are successful. You have abundance. Practice stewardship and generosity for you have been entrusted with much, especially as a top 2%er. 

What Is Your Cost of Being Off-Purpose?

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Put on your financial hat for an On-Purpose Minute. If I asked you to pay me $1.22 to help you save a portion of $1,000, would you “risk” it? Most likely, yes. It is an easy business decision. In fact, you would probably ask, “What’s the catch?” There is a catch!

Prior to the 30-minute webcast of The POWER of Your 2-Word Purpose Statement (watch here), I conducted a survey of registrants. One of the survey questions was, “If you had to put a U.S. dollar figure on being disadvantaged without or a weak purpose, vision, or mission statement, which best reflects your cost of being ‘off-purpose’?” 

The multiple choice answers can be found in the first seven columns (see chart below) plus “Other.” Over 47% of those surveyed indicated the cost of being off-purpose was over $1,000,000. Astonishingly the write-in text for the “Other” included words like immeasurable, incalculable, and priceless. At 22% it ranked highest. Not bad for an un-choice!

To be on-purpose, you need to make an intentional choice to actually do something about it. The ROI is amazing, especially for those in the 47%  group. Immeasurable, incalculable, priceless? Yes!

Cost of off-purpose breakdown p1

Are You Feeling Successful?

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Leader Phil Mickelson teeing off on the 18th h...Image via Wikipedia

Last Tuesday, I asked in the On-Purpose Minute, "Do You Feel Like A Failure?"  This week we go to the other end of the spectrum — success.  Reaching this place in life opens us to new vistas and responsibilities.  How will you mature into your place of leadership?

I have to imagine that Phil Mickelson is relishing his moment of success in winning his third green jacket at the Masters golf tournament.  A friend of mine, Johan Immelman's son, Trevor, won it a couple of years ago.  I've met Trevor and he exudes the qualities of a man with good parenting.  



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