Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Purpose

Am I Irritating The Living Hell Out of You?

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Typically when someone is irritating the living hell out of us, this bothersome behavior provokes the fight or flight impulse. While the expression is often used, what if there really is more than meets the idiom?

How many of us find ourselves or someone close to us caught in a living hell within our body, mind, spirit, and financial condition?

There’s nothing worse than this sense of hopelessness except resignation to the hopelessness and denial.

On-Purpose® is about awakening us to face our “living hell” by getting to the core of our being which by definition is good, pure, and whole—our purpose. Here is the keyhole to the escape hatch into being true to ourselves.

Choose hope!

Putting a name on our situation strengthens us to face it more directly, boldly, and successfully.

Why not experience the promise of “on earth as it is in heaven” on-purpose? Yes, I hope tshareasimage(5)his message irritates the living hell out of you … and you’ll thank me for it.

Escape Your Living Hell

On a highly selective basis, I’m looking to mentor and develop quality people who want to build a true business as a coach. This will mean learning, ongoing dialogue and development, determination, and a long-term commitment to stay the course. You’ll be helping your clients get to a healthier place in their lives in the most robust sense of well-being. For you this means work, learning to engage clients, and growing as a leader on-purpose.

Interested? Email me why you think this sounds like you. I’m conducting interviews to work with 3 people.

Is Your Leadership Being Choked?

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As leaders, we’re prone to move from one task to the next with mental speed and insightful clarity.

Distractions, busyness, and just plain old bad habits have a way of gradually yet persistently working their way into our lives. Pretty soon we’re enslaved in activities and relationships that take us off-purpose.

In today’s On-Purpose Business Minute, I share a metaphor and lessons learned from a day of hard, back-breaking yard work and getting my hands dirty. As you can see, my mind was also hard at work.

As leaders, it is important that we get to the root of matters.

Paying attention to the details while still seeing the big picture isn’t always easy. Even if you’re not very good at both, at least be aware of the importance of both to avoid getting blind-sided. Surround yourself with complementary talent and trusted advisors so you grasp a greater perspective and insight into an important matter. This will free you to do more of what you do best more profitably.

No sense getting lost in the bushes and choked out of the beauty of how your business can bloom and grow.

Need some help with getting to the roots of your leadership? At On-Purpose Partners, we offer 1:1 executive and personal leadership coaching. Learn more here.

How Do You Build Your Confidence?

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Pointer: I make reference to The Service Model™ in this On-Purpose Minute. Here is a link to review, purchase, and download a copy. Click Here for Your Copy.

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Look at the kid in the front row, fourth from the left! Yep, the one with the rolled-up pants (room to grow) and checkered jacket. That’s yours truly in Mrs. (Lois) Johnson’s Kindergarten in Bethel Park, PA! My guess is the photo was taken in 1960 and I’m five years old. I was one of the youngest kids in this class.

Mrs. Johnson Kindergarten

I was blessed with a very happy childhood. I don’t look really happy on the day of this photograph. Come to think of it, none of the boys look too thrilled to be this close to girls (yuck!) and under such tight control with our hands in our laps!

In reviewing my report card from those days, I read “Kevin is young and lacks confidence.” Fortunately, my parents decided to hold me back a year so I could grow in confidence. Yes, I repeated kindergarten! My parents’ wisdom set me on a more positive trajectory for life. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Odd that I still remember those words and that label “Kevin … lacks confidence.” It used to really bug me that I was a person who lacked confidence. As I’ve matured, I realize how wrong my understanding of that statement was. Mrs. Johnson was offering feedback to my parents so they could make informed decisions to remedy the matter rather than labeling me. I’m the one who mistakenly “owned” the label. Five- and six-year-old minds do things like that. Sadly, so do 25-, 35-, 45- … year-old minds, too!

Each of us lacks confidence at the start of anything new. Confidence can apply to a skill or aptitude but not to the very nature or soul of a person—that’s just too destructive.

Have you bought a lie that you lack confidence or some other such nonsense? Don’t!

Let’s rephrase the statement and shift your perspective. You just haven’t yet found the bedrock of your beliefs and faith upon which to grow in confidence! I promise you that this solid ground for the soul exists in you. Like innate leadership, you have a place where you are designed and destined to be confident. It is a birthright that you may need to claim (or reclaim). Keep looking!

Look into the eyes of that little boy on the first row then and today in the video. As a person, does he lack confidence today? I’ve been a speaker in arenas in front of thousands. I’ve been on TV and radio broadcasts throughout the USA and Canada. People without confidence don’t do that.

How Do You Build Your Confidence?

There’s the question I’m placing before you. I’ve found the readers of this blog are a bright bunch of people. Please share your insights, comments, or quotes in the Comments section below. Let’s help one another become more confident as leaders of our lives.

Quotes About Confidence

Readers of The On-Purpose Person and The On-Purpose Business Person know that I start each chapter with a quotation. For this post, I turned to my book of quotations about confidence specifically. These quotations will stimulate your thinking:

“I had no vision of the scope of what I would start. But I had confidence that as long as we did our work well and were good to our customers, there would be no limit to us.”

    Sam Walton, Founder of Walmart (1918–1992)

“To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can.”

    Sydney Smith, Anglican Clergyman and writer (1771–1845)

“Fortunate is the person who has developed the self-control to steer a straight course toward his objective in life, without being swayed from his purpose by either commendation or condemnation.”

    Napoleon Hill, Author, Think and Grow Rich

“Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed.”

    Channing Pollack, U.S. Magician and Hollywood Actor (1926–2006)

“Confidence is the feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself.”

     Cicero, Roman philosopher, 1st Century B.C.

 

I leave you with one parting On-Purpose Proverb:

“Awareness of one’s lack of confidence indicates that your heart and your head are still talking. They just need to get the rest of the body moving so the next lesson can be learned more readily.”

Are You Like A Fly On A Window?

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We construct our lives as best we can, yet it is hard to see the boundaries and borders we’ve created around us. Certainly, some enclosures provide protection and support. Yet, some barriers are self-inflicting and limit our life with an unhealthy—even an unnatural—manner and lessening result that leaves us being off-purpose.

It sucks to be stuck in life.

Heart WorkOn July 12, 1987, President Ronald Reagan challenged then-Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev with the words, “Tear down this wall,” and the world soon changed. Look at your own life and ask, If President Reagan were to speak to me, what walls would he challenge me to tear down in my life?

Are you ready to stop banging your head against the window pane of life? Do you see the life you imagine, but an invisible barrier prevents you from getting to the other side? Now is the time to do the hard work of your heart work.

Are you ready to do your heart work but you don’t know how?

Here are some ideas:

Visit our online bookstore for more ideas.

Business Building: A “ME” or a “WE” Business?

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Business building is exciting.

Don’t let the excitement get the better of you. There’s a fork in the road in your business design that is too easily missed or goes unrecognized. The strategic and performance implications are profound.

If you are planning to start up a small business or are already running one, then you have a deep leadership decision about the orientation and attitude of your business as a “ME” business or a “WE” business. This orientation will play a major role in defining your corporate culture as well as the long-term sustainability of your organization—even its viability to be sold.

Here are two basic ways to go about business building:

M.E. = My Ego

or

W.E. = Winning for Everyone

Many professionals’ offices and mom and pop businesses are “ME” businesses simply by default or lack of knowing any better. “ME” businesses may provide adequate customer service, but they are more likely a source of periodic customer service nightmare stories.

Being a business advisor for over three decades, I’ve observed that most ME businesses do not have happy endings for the business owners who are unaware of the “ME or WE” business model. Either the business success is so dependent on the person that there isn’t a viable exit strategy, or the reputation of the business is so poor there’s no goodwill worth buying.

  • The employees are workers doing the owner’s bidding, so in the boss’s absence they’re lost or unable to act independently.
  • Sale of the business is next to impossible, or it will be bought for pennies on the dollar.
  • Family members capable who would be a logical part of the succession planning have long since departed the scene to carve their own way. Or worse, they’re still around as dependents. This latter situation can get ugly fast.

Generally, these ME enterprises close when the dominant or alpha personality departs by either retirement or death. If by chance, the business is sold, the valuations are almost always discounted or only asset-valuations based because the business is so revenue and operationally dependent upon the owner.

However, if you’re unwilling, unable, or just don’t care about the long-term sustainability or saleability of the business, and if you’ve made an informed decision about having a “ME” business, then press into it all the way.

As long as you’re building a ME business by design and you understand the downside and can accept it, then there’s nothing inherently wrong with just shutting the doors when you’re done.

“WE” businesses are looking for win-win outcomes for everyone involved.

Candidly, the “Everyone Profits” mindset is a challenge to design, create, and execute, but done well is far easier to sustain and manage. (Here’s a huge tip: use The On-Purpose Business Plan as a guide.) When the people thrive, the business is more likely to follow suit.

An owner who cares about people infuses that attitude to the employees, who pass it along to the customers, who in turn send their referrals.

The spirit of customer service begins with a decision about whom the business serves. If you’ve never thought about your business orientation as “ME” or “WE,” then invest a few minutes to take a hard look in the mirror. I promise you that you can improve your lifestyle, position, and business performance if you will make a TOPBPerson coverdecision regarding your business orientation and then take it deeply one way or the other.

Don’t stay in the mushy middle. Pick a direction and run to it.

The On-Purpose® Approach is a service concept with “WE” checks and balances. Yes, it is more difficult to design and develop, but it brings a sustainable and durable dimension to the business. If you need help forming or transforming your “WE” business, let us know. We have business advisors who can guide you regardless of the size of your business.

Are You Thinking of Starting a Business?

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Economic tough times, job loss, greater expression, or the chance to be your own boss are just some of the reasons people start a business. The barriers to entry are relatively low and the opportunities for success often appear high.

The hurdles to success, however, are hidden at the start but invariably emerge. Be aware of what lies ahead and you increase your odds of winning.

Looking for some help with either starting or running your business?

On-Purpose Partners provides business advisory services. Our clients and customers have spanned from Founders and CEOs of Fortune 500 companies to wannabe entrepreneurs.

If your business is less than $2 million in sales, you can hire me to help you with our On-Purpose Executive Coaching.

Can’t afford much?

  • The On-Purpose Business Person is available in softcover or Kindle e-book.
  • The Service Model is an inexpensive tool to help you plan your business, anticipate what’s coming, and understand the relationships of one level of the business to the next. Order one, just one, because you can print more from the PDF.

Here’s the bottom line for your business start-up (or ongoing venture): invest the time to articulate your purpose, vision, missions, and values.

Until you know

  • who you are
  • why you are here
  • where you are going
  • and what’s important

you’re really at a major and costly strategic disadvantage.

When it comes to your small business start-up or ongoing enterprise, give yourself every advantage by being on-purpose.

 

Why Is Life So Hard?

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In this On-Purpose Minute we’re exploring one of the greatest hidden impediments to living a better life: confused language, in general, and—specifically—the words of strategy and planning. Purpose, vision, and mission are used synonymously though they are not the same. Each has a unique quality, capacity, and meaning.

Each strategic term of Purpose, Vision, Mission, and Values answers a TOP Pal 2014 w copyrightspecific question and speaks to a distinct aspect of personal and organizational strategy.

Purpose: Why do I exist? (Being: Identity and worth)

Vision: Where am I going? (Seeing: Direction and dreams)

Mission: What do I do? (Doing: Planning and action)

Values: What is important? (Choosing: Decisions and importance)

On-Purpose, therefore, is when your heart, head, and hands are aligned and integrated with the highest values.

On-Purpose® is both a process and state of being strategically integrated while giving practical expression to who you truly are. You prosper others and yourself—it’s a win–win. As a result, you can’t help but make a difference.

Too many of us live our lives desperately seeking “to make a difference.” It is a noble aspiration, but a misguided approach. When the focus is the result and not the cause, then we’re almost sure to get distracted and detoured.

Instead, focus on becoming the personal leader of your life.

Know who you are—really.

  • Write your 2-word purpose statement.
  • Invest the time to clarify your vision and missions.
  • Specify your values—the boundaries and guidelines of your life that matter most to your overall health and well-being.

Need help? Explore The On-Purpose Shop for books, tools, coaching, and more.

Decay and destruction are easier than growth and construction. Being on-purpose is work … but consider the alternative. And that, dear reader, is why life is so hard.

Rock-paper-scissors chartRock–paper–scissors chart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When there isn’t agreement on the definitions of Purpose, Vision, Missions, and Values—but plans are made with them—then those plans are confused. Confused plans result in under-performance. Under-performance calls for a review and update of the plans. Rock–Paper–Scissors!

Can a good old game of Rock–Paper–Scissors help you to unlock the difficulties of your life?

Yes!

  • Rock breaks scissors.
  • Scissors cut paper.
  • Paper covers rock.

We know the rules and the game.

The problem isn’t the process, tools, or sincerity of the people. The problem is outside of the system. The terms of leadership and strategy are confused so the entire “game” is rigged against you to almost always fall short.

Have you ever asked yourself, Why am I so frustrated and overwhelmed? Do you think you’re crazy or something is wrong with you?

If you’re crazy, then you don’t know you’re crazy. If you think you’re crazy, then you’re sane enough to know you’re not going mad. All this, therefore, means you aren’t crazy—just stressed, worn, and detoured from the life of your dreams but not the life of your reality.

When the world within us is confused, directionless, and searching, to assume the world outside of us is going to magically provide what we’re looking for is stepping on the unhealthy path of voluntary victimhood.

To make sense of the world about you, make sense of your life.

Start with consistent definitions of purpose, vision, missions, and values. Then, answer the questions above. The On-Purpose Person provides the method and steps to lead your life on-purpose.

What Is Your Cost of Poor Direction and Communication?

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At a client management roundtable I facilitated, the participants emphasized the lack of direction and communication. Their sentiments were echoed and validated by an employee survey. When asked to perform a financial assessment on the cost of poor communication and direction, within two minutes these leaders had calculated over $12 million in costs or 25% of the company’s gross revenues.

Is this high cost an exaggeration? Not at all. Their experience is typical.

Through the years I’ve invited clients to assess the cost of being off-purpose. Consistently, it is a breathtaking percentage of revenues. Here’s why: every line item on the financial statements is affected. The effect, however, is mostly indirect so the true cost is out of sight on the typical performance metrics.

Broadly insufficient direction and communication reflect on the top leaders. Experience tells me it isn’t that the top leaders won’t direct or communicate, it is that they don’t know what to communicate.

Direction and communication are deep strategic matters residing in the office of the CEO and C-suite.

Purpose, vision, missions, and values form the basis of core strategy that informs the business plan. Generalities instead of strategic clarity muddy direction and communication. When the leadership and management team are fuzzy, then the supervisory and frontline people are left guessing what to do.

Interestingly, those who “guess” better than most, get promoted. They imagine being in management will give them the opportunity to manage better than they were managed. In fact, they soon discover they’re just closer to the source of the problem and are even more exposed to the risks of managing through the mud. This can lead to a feeling of being squeezed between upper management and frontline workers.

On one hand, one wants to be loyal to their employer; yet, on the other hand, it is really hard to defend dumb policies and procedures with no basis of strategy or logic. In top management’s defense (to some degree), it is a fine line to walk between leading and managing versus dictating and micromanaging.

If you are the CEO, figure out your strategy and direction and commit yourself and your team to being true to it. Sell it consistently with great internal communication and reward right behaviors.

One of the great movie lines of all time comes from the movie Cool Hand Luke starring Paul Newman. The chain gang prison captain says to Luke after rendering a whipping on him, “What we’ve got here is … failure to communicate.” Watch Video.

Indeed, we do have … failure to communicate. Imagine being in my shoes and seeing huge gains and savings to be had in a business, yet the leader is out of the comfort of his or her experience or they assume they are communicating.

Expecting others to be mind readers is frustrating for everyone.

Purpose is the beginning of clarity in life and business. It pays big dividends to be on-purpose.