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The Professor of On-Purpose

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life work balance

“A ‘Balanced’ Life” a Poem on Life by Kevin W. McCarthy

July 25, 2011 By kwmccarthy

A "Balanced" Life

A balanced life is what I sought,

Only to have a life that was not.

My battle for balance was constantly fought,

Yet, time and again I found myself caught.

 

I planned, I managed, I strove to obtain.

With burnout, frustration, and a worn out brain.

Time I did “manage” with feelings distraught,

Where the harder I tried, the less I got.

 

A balanced life captured my thought.

Advice and coaching I often sought.

So coaches and counselors I did retain

To inspire, encourage, and help me retrain.

 

I listened and learned and did as I ought,

Yet my sense of my self continued to rot.

Day after day I did not obtain,

A life in balance – I could not sustain.

 

Daily my Father saw my deep pain,

Finally, he asked of my earnest campaign.

I told of the experts and advice I had bought.

He listened long. Then, I asked what he thought.

 

“A balanced life you will not obtain.

It’s an illusion sure to drive you insane.”

About the balanced life I so anxiously sought.

In essence he said, “All is for naught.”

 

Could my experts’ advice be words all in vain!

Dad’s contrary words were too simple and plain.

Defensive and righteous, I took a pot shot,

“If not balance, what else have you got?”


He answered, “A balanced life is what you’ve sought.

Instead, try this one simple thought:

Live your life integrated.  It will go as it ought.”

A different perspective my Father had brought.

 

Intrigued and delighted his words fell as rain,

To my parched soul truly going insane.

How do I integrate?  How do I maintain?

Were questions resounding deep in my brain.

 

“In the beginning, when you were begotten

A purpose was given, you’ve long since forgotten.

Search your heart and all its terrain.

Your purpose lies dormant, yet steadfast and fain.

 

“Ignoring your purpose causes work with strain.

Why worry about balance if it isn’t germane!

Align to your purpose, live as you ought.

Listen, my love, to the words that I’ve taught.”

 

His words were startling, and hard to contain

For Balance, my idol, he had just slain. 

No more was my stomach tied tight in a knot.

For a balanced life I no longer sought.

 

In the heart of my heart I had learned a lot

Of ordering life on Dad’s integrating thought.

Gone were failings and feelings distraught

Where the harder I tried, the less I got.

 

I’m sparked by my purpose so simple and plain.

Integration, not balance, now keeps me so sane.

The gift of hope in my heart does remain.

For being on-purpose I can surely sustain.

 

© 2011, Kevin W. McCarthy


If not balance in life, then what?

April 2, 2008 By kwmccarthy

“Kevin,” you ask, “If work life balance is a myth, then, what do I do instead?  How do I make a difference and make my life count?  I want to be productive on and off the job, earn that six-figure income while being true to myself.  I want to be a great spouse and parent.  I want wealth, financial independence, and security so I can be in a position to help and serve others in my community.  I want to be healthy, feel more settled in my spirit, and secure my future.  What do I do to make my life work better?  How do I become a leader in my life?”

Up to this point in my posts, I’ve held off providing you the alternative to work life balance for a reason.

[Read more…] about If not balance in life, then what?

How Can So Many Be Wrong About Work Life Balance?

March 5, 2008 By kwmccarthy

In previous posts I’ve told you about the fallacy of seeking balance in your life.  I can only imagine that many people who are reading this post as well as this entire category are doubting my sanity.  How can so many people be so wrong?  Or, Kevin, what makes you think you have it right when all the world sees it differently?

Let me share a story with you…

[Read more…] about How Can So Many Be Wrong About Work Life Balance?

Striving for Life Balance

February 27, 2008 By kwmccarthy

Striving for balance is a crazy-making, pointless waste of your time, effort, and emotional energy. Attempting to live up to “the balanced life” standard only heaps on lumps of guilt and disappointment, along with a gnawing sense of low-grade failure. Living with the glass half full in a pessimist’s paradise, despite your hope, optimism, and desire for improvement.

The problem is epidemic. Our entire culture has so accepted the myth that balance in life is the accepted norm for what makes for a successful life. Well, perhaps, having tons of money is the even bigger myth. So behind materialism for confusing our concept of the ideal life is this idea of balance.

I’ve known for decades that this kind of thinking was erroneous, yet the point was driven home to me in the spring of 2006. I was an in-studio radio show guest on Lee & Friends hosted by Lee Brandel on AM 950 WTLN in Orlando, FL. When I shared my perspective on work-life balance, here’s what Lee had to say:

“Thank you! In twenty years of interviewing, you are the first guest to ever tell my listeners and me to stop trying to balance our lives! What a refreshing and insightful thought. I am relieved.”

Is it any wonder why we when we feel so blue and down about ourselves that we run to Starbucks for a java jumpstart for the burned-out battery of our souls? We’re putting together life’s puzzle with flawed instructions and paying the price in every aspect of our lives and careers.

For too many years, you’ve had the wool pulled over your eyes by legions of work-life gurus and coaches. These “experts” have also bought the lie. They’ve unquestioningly mimicked what they heard and merely accepted the pursuit of work-life balance as a greater truth and aspiration. Just because a lie is repeated, doesn’t make it true. Yet the idea of balancing your work commitments and family obligations is so cemented in our culture that it is given universal truth status.

I’m a self-help heretic on this topic. I’m telling you there’s no sense in pursuing work-life balance. Open up your life to a new possibility where you’ll get higher dividends for all of your effort and energy with no risk of failure.

It’s like a man who spent his entire life staring at the corner of a towering wall. He’s master of its every nuance and built a good life being a wall looker. He lives in a safe and secure place that’s his home.

Then I come along, turn him around, and say, “Look what’s been behind you the whole time! There’s a garden, mountains, the ocean, and a horizon that stretches as far as the eye can see. You can go to these places or turn back around to your corner wall world.” I urge him, “Please step with me to these new places, experiences, and adventure of a lifetime.”

He answered, “But I’ve never experienced any of what you’re describing. It can’t be for real. It is all just an illusion.” He turns around to continue living his safe and secure life at the corner wall.

Don’t be a wall watcher any longer.

The #1 Reason You Won’t Achieve Work Life Balance!

February 23, 2008 By kwmccarthy

Do you believe the sun, planets, and stars revolve around the earth?  Of course not!  The Ancient Greeks believed the world was flat.  Centuries later this was still the prevailing wisdom and teaching of the day.  Then along came Nicolaus Copernicus who changed the course of modern science and astronomy. 

What about today?  How can so many of the best and brightest be so wrong about work life balance?  Are you one of them?

[Read more…] about The #1 Reason You Won’t Achieve Work Life Balance!

The Myth of Work Life Balance

February 18, 2008 By kwmccarthy

How do I achieve work life balance?  Here is another question I get asked frequently.  And here is where I am a self-help heretic. 

Call it what you may, life work balance, work life balance, balancing my life, finding balance, or whatever description you want to use.  Work life balance is a myth, a distraction, a misguided principle, a false concept, an inaccurate ideal, and a missed target. 

Here on my blog I’ll be exploring The Myth of Work Life Balance and invite your comments, questions, and, frankly, disagreements.  I’ve debated this with many persons.  More importantly, you won’t be left hanging.  There is a better alternative.

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