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Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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life balance

Do You Want More Balance in Your Life?

December 4, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Be sure to check out the free offer to download Kevin’s poem: A “Balanced” Life at the end of this post!

It seems that everyone wants more balance.

People want:

  • A higher checking account balance
  • A perfectly balanced body
  • A balanced diet

So doesn’t it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn’t replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Work–life balance is in high demand.

But do you have a true definition or image in your mind’s eye for what constitutes a proper work–life balance definition? Experience tells me that most people love the idea of work–life balance, and they’re seeking and investing in tips and techniques all too regularly but not getting the results they want. Let me save you some time!

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you. It doesn’t work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

“So why, Kevin,” you may ask, “are you such a contrarian?” No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades.

Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities.

Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is hogwash!

A life in balance is a myth.

It is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn’t work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they’re so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth!

Doing life is learning life. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

Others will claim to be so busy, overworked, and stressed that they believe more balance will finally bring them the peace, comfort, and security they’re working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today’s On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute titled “Do You Want A Balanced Life?” I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. Below, you’ll find a link to download my poem titled A “Balanced” Life.

My hope is that you’ll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort.

I’ve played the “balance your life game” in the past. No more!

Today when someone says “I want more balance in my life,” I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, “I’m hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what’s there.” No Virginia, the world is not flat.

The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed thinking despite being so broadly accepted.

So allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that’s impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn’t semantics; this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of “being out of balance.” You’ll learn to live with the joyful intensity where being “off balance” doesn’t matter and being true to yourself and more on-purpose does matter.

Replace your tiring, old concept of balance in life.

Change your “ideal” and you’ll transform your life for the better as you integrate your life rather than balance it.

To download my poem A “Balanced” Life, go to our shopping cart to get your free copy.

How Do I Simplify My Life?

May 1, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Have you reached the point where you’ve said, “Something has to change! I can’t go on living like this!”? You want to simplify your life, but then you mindlessly keep filling your schedule and piling up the work at home and on the job.

Life in the fast lane requires a vehicle designed to go fast. To do otherwise is simply gambling with one’s life. You may feel blessed with the desire to run in the fast lane. But you’ve also been blessed with the wisdom to know that level of activity can’t be sustained long-term without negative consequences.

No research studies here to reference, but my gut tells me many of us are looking to simplify life with the hopes that decluttering will offer stress relief, healthier living, and a more peaceful existence. We’re running so hard and so fast, that if we ease off the accelerator of our lives for a minute, we’re apt to discover we’re lost and without direction.

We begin asking basic and solid life questions such as:

  • “What does it really mean to be me?”
  • “How do I find direction in my life?”
  • “Who am I really?”
  • “How do I simplify my life?”

The desire to simplify our lives and the act of actually doing it are easily postponed. When a car needs maintenance, a dashboard light flashes on and we take it to the repair shop or dealer. When we need maintenance, we experience headaches, stress, grumpiness, and worse. Hypertension, adrenal fatigue, weight gain, and other risky decisions keep us flying down the highway of life in ill-maintained bodies. What do we do? We pop a pill to kill the pain or turn off the indicator.

Are you at risk of running yourself into the ground at a frenzied, unhealthy pace?

“Clutter equals postponed decisions.” That’s what my friend Barbara Hemphill, author of the Taming The Paper Tiger series and professional organizer extraordinaire, says about all the stuff surrounding us. In essence, Barbara’s telling us that physical clutter is a reflection of a life of indecision.

In the On-Purpose Approach, clutter is speedily and readily managed with the Want List and Tournament process. Download the free preview to the Discovery Guide. Use this simple process to sort and set priorities. In just about 10 minutes, your brain will be better organized, your spirit more settled, and you’ll move forward more productively. Use this tool every day with your Two Do lists or anytime you’ve got a project and can’t figure out where to start.

Let me offer a different perspective for you.

What if the demands, stresses, and strains of our modern society are actually blessings that refine and sharpen us to be more of who we are and are called to be? That means you are, in fact, an on-purpose person in creation. Perhaps this current crisis is really a conspiracy of compassion designed to bring you to your knees … for prayer and prayer alone. If so, count it all joy that you have hit your low point and can only look upward.

BONUS Video: Watch Michael W. Smith’s song Open the Eyes of My Heart. This worship song has long been a favorite of mine. If you’re in a dark place today or simply need to be uplifted, let the words of this song sink deep into your spirit.

Learning to Lead Starts With Yourself

April 16, 2009 By kwmccarthy

Watch this video interview I did with Factor77 to gain insight into on-purpose concepts.  Some of the questions asked and answered are below.

  • Was there something you went through personally that made you write your book?
  • What is your methodology for taking a step back in today’s world and being able to figure out what the heck you're doing?
  • Why do you say a balanced life is a myth?
  • So if you're doing what you love there should be no balance?
  • How do you go out and find the right people to keep you motivated?
  • How do you know when it’s time to stop and look around at what you're doing and take that first step?
  • How do you feel satisfied at the end of the day instead of stressed out?

189 Pounds – Thanks Dr. Andersen & Take Shape For Life

September 12, 2008 By kwmccarthy

I did it!  This morning I weighed 189 pounds!  That means I've lost weight to the tune of 51 pounds since January 1!   My goal was to get under 200 pounds; however, my coach, Lori Andersen, encouraged me to go the extra 10 pounds.   Honestly, as positive and goal oriented as I am, I just couldn't believe that I would ever be under 190 pounds again without the "help" of an illness. 

The journey has actually been a lot easier than I imagined thanks to the combination Medifast meal replacements and the personal involvement of having a coach from Medifast's coaching division: Take Shape For Life.  Co-founder, Dr. Wayne Andersen, is an amazing source of inspiration, education, and vision.  His vision for the Health Coaches to get America healthy is one thing.   How that vision translates to each client is another.  I'm living proof and a huge fan!

[please note, the photo on my blog will be updated with a new one soon.  This shot is me at 240 pounds.  You'll see the new me soon.  Yesterday we had a photo shoot so a new Kevin will be appearing soon.]

[Read more…] about 189 Pounds – Thanks Dr. Andersen & Take Shape For Life

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