Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

concept

Do You Want More Balance in Your Life?

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Be sure to check out the free offer to download Kevin’s poem: A “Balanced” Life at the end of this post!

It seems that everyone wants more balance.

People want:

  • A higher checking account balance
  • A perfectly balanced body
  • A balanced diet

So doesn’t it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn’t replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Work–life balance is in high demand.

But do you have a true definition or image in your mind’s eye for what constitutes a proper work–life balance definition? Experience tells me that most people love the idea of work–life balance, and they’re seeking and investing in tips and techniques all too regularly but not getting the results they want. Let me save you some time!

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you. It doesn’t work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

“So why, Kevin,” you may ask, “are you such a contrarian?” No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades.

Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities.

Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is hogwash!

A life in balance is a myth.

It is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn’t work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they’re so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth!

Doing life is learning life. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

Others will claim to be so busy, overworked, and stressed that they believe more balance will finally bring them the peace, comfort, and security they’re working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today’s On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute titled “Do You Want A Balanced Life?” I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. Below, you’ll find a link to download my poem titled A “Balanced” Life.

My hope is that you’ll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort.

I’ve played the “balance your life game” in the past. No more!

Today when someone says “I want more balance in my life,” I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, “I’m hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what’s there.” No Virginia, the world is not flat.

The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed thinking despite being so broadly accepted.

So allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that’s impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn’t semantics; this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of “being out of balance.” You’ll learn to live with the joyful intensity where being “off balance” doesn’t matter and being true to yourself and more on-purpose does matter.

Replace your tiring, old concept of balance in life.

Change your “ideal” and you’ll transform your life for the better as you integrate your life rather than balance it.

To download my poem A “Balanced” Life, go to our shopping cart to get your free copy.

Have You Bought A Lie?

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Have You Bought a Lie? If so, it’s time to put it in the trash.

In the video portion of this On-Purpose Minute, I describe the “IABC” four types of lies we hold on to for all the wrong reasons.

  • Image
  • Attitude
  • Belief
  • Concept

Words are creative. Words come to life.

Many of us have had lying or hurtful words spoken into our lives in our innocence and/or in our adulthood. What we do next is up to us. Here are some tips to being whole.

Welcome truth, thirst for it, accept its pain, and embrace its liberation. In helping people to be on-purpose, I frequently come against seemingly irrational and obtuse behaviors from otherwise very accomplished and respected persons even in the face of contrary evidence. It’s their “old stuff” and patterns haunting their present and diminishing their future.

Why?

Words, more precisely lying or hurtful words, spoken into ourtruth lives by those closest to us or in whose care we depend strike hard on the soul. Lies falsely tarnish our self-image, attitude, behavior, or concept.

We pay dearly … for life unless we intervene. Holding on to the wounding is like tearing off a scab day after day and wondering why it doesn’t heal. The first offense is not of our making. The second offense, however, is all on us.

Forgiveness is the key.

Judith and I have an expression about forgiveness. “Forgive now and pray for sincerity to come later.” Forgiving someone who has hurt or offended you can be extraordinarily difficult, even painful, but it is the ONLY pathway I’ve found to MY recovery. It may or may not lead to reconciliation and recovery, but at least the injury stops hurting so much and with time, 99% recovery is possible.

Weighty Matters

Perhaps you think these self-deceptions or denial of damage are harmless? Hardly! They can literally have life and death consequences.

For example, within the health coaching team of On-Purpose Partners, we find the following kinds of Images, Attitudes, Beliefs, and Concepts can prevent clients from being qualified candidates for success in our program.

  • Image: I can’t imagine myself at a healthy weight anymore.
  • Attitude: I know what to do; I just don’t do it.
  • Beliefs: My family has always been big.
  • Concepts: I just don’t get enough exercise.

These mythologies of weight loss are factually inaccurate and crippling to us being in a healthier place. Even clients with the deepest desire to get healthy will scuttle their success unless and until they are aware of their personal mythology and clinging to old wounds that affect their well-being today. Coaching clients to health is more about their life experiences and views than it is our program. The program works, but will the client work the program?

You’ve seen the price of pain! Most of us are emotional abusers of some “drug of choice,” such as food, alcohol, smoking, drugs, shopping, or a host of other addictions. Think there isn’t pain? Ashley Madison had 36 million paid members who knowingly were seeking discreet affairs outside of marriage. Consider the trauma of a divorce, pain to the children, and the lawyers’ bills.

Lies are the words that keep on taking.

Lies we buy make it that much harder to sell our ideas, opportunities, and opinions. Lies steal from our livelihood and sap our worth. Lies corrode our productivity and undermine our careers.

Are you ready to uproot lies with greater truths? It begins by being open to living in truth. With truth comes greater freedom and abundance.

Do you have a coach or a health coach? Then share this On-Purpose Minute with them. Consider giving them permission to help you identify any lies or festering wounds. Ask them to help you work through forgiveness of the offending party, even if it is you.

Counselors and clergy are great sources of recovery. Clergy are especially versed in the area of forgiveness.

Do you need a coach? Certainly we offer life coaching to unburden your image001spirit and health coaching to relieve your joints and back from the physical burdens weighing on you. Contact Judith McCarthy for a free health coaching consultation so you, too, can get to your healthier place.