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Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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aging

Are Your Leadership Skills Maturing or Just Growing Old?

August 7, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Are you maturing as a leader or just getting older?

The fear of being exposed for who we really are is likely the greatest fear gripping us and keeping us from realizing our leadership potential. This is especially true for those who bought into the lie of “fake it until you make it.”

Even a “successful” life built upon posing and lies lives in the shadow of discovery. Immaturity causes us to be afraid of what other people will think of us. This sophomoric pride keeps us from growing, improving, and Fearofexposuretesting ourselves at the next level.

On the other hand, none of us are perfect. In effect, we’re all goofballs at some level in some place at some time. So get over the pretenses of perfection and live into the real you. Being authentic is in the foundation of great leadership qualities.

So how good are your leadership skills and, importantly, your leadership attitudes?

Are you …

  • Learning (for a lifetime)?
  • Leading (your life so others want to follow you)?
  • Loving (unconditionally)?
  • Leaving (the world a better place)?

Many cite the absence of leaders today. Actually, we’re suffering from an absence of mature leaders stemming from the reality that we’re still trying to figure out what to do with ourselves when we grow up.

Certainly, there’s a benefit to having a childlike curiosity and faith. But let’s talk growing up here—stepping into adulthood with both feet firmly planted on the ground as a leader of one’s life who is growing in experience, wisdom, discernment, and judgment.

Our dearth of leaders may well reflect deeper challenges—the absence of mentors and the value of relationships over time. Accepting those rationales, however, are excuses. If you want to be a leader, you’ll find the mentors, experiences, and relationships that will grow you so you are learning, leading, loving, and leaving—the four attitudes of mature leaders.

At On-Purpose Partners we serve up heaping portions of maturity through our one-on-one On-Purpose Executive and Personal Coaching Programs. Is this your time to nakedly take your place in the front of the pack?

Are Your Excuses Getting Old?

September 5, 2017 By kwmccarthy

Listen to what you say about yourself!

Stop using your age, for example, as an excuse that prevents you from becoming and doing what is on-purpose or what is most important in your life. Age is a fact. It comes with certain physical realities—even some limitations—but why give it greater permission than it deserves to control the well-being of your life?

You get to choose your attitude about age.

BABY BOOMER & GEN X ALERT: Do not read unless you are prepared to face reality.

MILLENNIALS: Scroll down

Judith, my wife, and I offer health coaching services that help clients create a healthier, on-purpose lifestyle. Being overweight contributes to many diseases and conditions such as type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure.

Too many of our pre-clients subscribe to the “getting old” excuse to “rationalize” unhealthy choices versus accepting responsibility and actually doing something about it.

We can’t turn back the hands of time, but we don’t need to speed up the biological clock either.

The onset of aging is inevitable, even desirable considering the alternative. Edward Bulwer-Lytton‘s quotation about aging captures the essence of the choices about growing older: “It is not by the gray of the hair that one knows the age of the heart.”

Are You Maturing or Just Getting Old? is the title of a prior On-Purpose Minute. In it, viewers were confronted with a choice to mature or simply grow old. In a slightly different twist, I pose the question again: Are you resigned to your condition or will you accept responsibility?

Frankly, your “old age” excuses are getting old.

Avoid letting the measure of life be your years on the planet. It matters not whether we’re talking your health, career, attitude, finances, or whatever. You are in greater control than your age is. Don’t let hardening of your attitude be your downfall when you can harken new possibilities into being. Embrace the changing dynamics and adventures that come with time. Rather than running from them, run to them.

When chronology defines you, then the impersonal march of time becomes your master. Instead, reject the “I’m getting old” excuse and toss out the devil of your premature personal demise on his big fat red tail.

Stop willingly accepting age as an excuse for infirmities of many makings. It is one thing to age gracefully, quite another to employ it as a rationale for self-inflicted infirmities of the mind, body, and spirit. Age is a measure of a life in years, not a life sentence.

Let’s Retire Retirement

The age of retirement, even the concept of “the age of retirement,” is an artificial construct by the government or a company. Admittedly, for many it is a very important finish line in a long and productive career. And that’s all it is!

  • How might your thinking be different if the age of retirement were 80 years old instead of 65?
  • What if you had to be 70+ instead of 50+ to get an AARP or AMAC card?
  • Would you take better care of yourself?
  • Would you dream different dreams?
  • Would you invest your time differently?

Did you know that the two highest risks of mortality are birth and retirement? So, you got past the first one. Now what’s your thinking about the second highest risk factor? After traditional retirement there begins an 18-month time frame of high mortality for workers. There’s a profound link between health and the loss of feeling needed or useful.

What benefits are there to succumb to these artificial ages and deadlines?

You—the independent thinker and aspiring leader—have you bought into the cultural norm and fallen prey to the group think?

Resist the lies surrounding the age of retirement as being life-defining and health-declining. Yes, circumstances and conditions change, but your spirit and purpose are forever.

Millennial Alert, Too!

Age is not just an excuse of the senior citizens; it influences youth as well.

Excuses such as “I’m too young for anyone to take me seriously,” or “Hey, you’re only young once, so I might as well get drunk tonight,” are self-deceiving ploys often unwittingly designed to put off the inevitable maturation process of becoming a man or woman of fine character.

The “age of the heart” is timeless.

Baby boomer, Millennial, or Gen X: Choose to carry a youthful spirit, attitude, perspective, and activity in your heart regardless of the condition of your physical shell. Choose to mature into wisdom, leadership, grace, empathy, service, compassion, and well-being. That choice comes at any age. We’re blessed with the Great Generation because those who remain generally personify positive and productive choice. Think that’s a clue?

Purpose is a matter of the heart.

Explore your heart’s condition and you’ll more likely embrace the depth of your being and discover just how miraculously and wonderfully made you are and can be. You’ll also live a longer, healthier, and more meaningful life. There’s a reason why I autograph my books with “Be On-Purpose!” I want to remind you to be who you truly are and the best version of you possible.

Give yourself the gift of a joyful life by rejecting your old excuses and choose to be on-purpose.

Update: This On-Purpose Minute originally aired in March of 2011.

At that time I did start working out with Anne on the stadium steps at our local high school and got back into great shape. The point is that while age and aging is a reality—if we’re using age as an excuse—we must stop and take a hard look whether we’re painting with too broad of a brush. Stop using age, any age, as an excuse and be real about what’s really going on.

Update 2: Anne was home recently and invited me to go run the stadium steps. Game on! It had been some time, but I did 2 sets of stadium steps, felt my leg burns, and discovered what I already knew: I still have it … but not nearly as much of it! : ) I need to get back in better shape.

March 3 – This date in history.

March 3, 2009 By kwmccarthy

March 3, 1916

My mother-in-law was born in Augusta, GA.   Grannie is still living on the dairy family farm in North Augusta, SC.  She needs more help these days but her sense of humor remains.  

Grannie's mind has been slipping.   On a previous visit a couple of months ago, she informed Judith that she was going to be 106 on her next birthday.  Grannie remembered she was born in 1916.  Lovingly, Judith walked her though the proper calculation to get to 93.

Judith and I were visiting with Grannie a couple of weekends ago.  Testing Grannie's mental clarity, Judith asked her, "Mother, what birthday is coming up on March 3rd?"

Grannie smiled and said, "My last… at least that's the way everyone seems to be treating it, what with the party that is planned and all."  Her mind may be slipping but her humor isn't!

March 3, 1992
I signed the publishing contract for The On-Purpose Person with Navpress of Colorado Springs.  This was my first book contract.   The message has sold over 200,000 copies with domestic and foreign distribution.   Now there's an updated version.  Now more than ever this message is needed.   Please help us share it by passing along the free preview available at our web site.

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