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Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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Proverbs

To Realize the Best, Define What is the Best.

June 24, 2014 By kwmccarthy

Lil and Bob McCarthyRobert C. McCarthy, my father, died peacefully Sunday morning June 22, 2014. He was 89. He’s shown here with my mom and me.

This tribute written back in 2005 captures the spirit of the man and my sincere love and appreciation for him.

March 29, 2005—We sat at the 18th tee box at Isleworth Country Club. My dad and I watched the small parade of the best players in the world of professional golf compete in the Tavistock Cup. Tiger Woods and Annika Sorenstam were teeing it up, as were greats like Sergio Garcia, Ernie Els, Mark O’Meara, and Nick Faldo and others. To be the best in the world—what an amazing accomplishment!

My parents have been avid golfers most of my life. At 80 years of age, my father has had two knee replacements and is the caregiver for my mom. On June 24, 2002, she underwent a hip replacement expecting to improve her golf game and lifestyle. Unfortunately, she suffered a stroke during surgery. It meant her last golf stroke was made the day before. She plays vicariously by watching televised golf. My dad hardly plays anymore.

We hobbled slowly around the golf course, picking our spots, and waiting for the five teams to come to us. Eventually, we perched ourselves in the stands at the 18th tee, a mere ten yards away from the click of the drive on this dogleg right bending around a pristine lake rimmed with ancient cypress trees. When the last foursome of golf gods had pounded their drives out of sight we began our labored walk up the 18th fairway to the shuttle bus pick-up area.

Our walk on the 18th fairway is etched in my mind. As he had most of the day, Dad placed his right hand on my left shoulder to steady himself against the fairway slope breaking toward the lake. The last foursome of golfing greats and their throng of on-lookers had walked the same turf minutes earlier. Now left in their afterglow, it was quietly ours. A yellow-shirted marshal seemed to sense the special moment and joined our labored stroll and chatted. In parting he said to my dad, “You take care of that boy of yours.”

Before Dad uttered a word, I honored him, “My dad has been taking good care of me my entire life. It is my turn.” Dad knows firsthand the humility, grace, and joy of being a caregiver. In caring for Mom, he has learned to receive. And so it is my honor to serve them both.

It was a day invested wisely. It had little to do with the game of golf and everything about the game of life. I still feel his hand pressing his weight upon my shoulder leaning and trusting upon me for support. Set amid the posh wealth of Isleworth Country Club, the beauty of the Central Florida weather, and the glamour of the golf stars were a father and a son just being together for a day. Our twosome was a non-event in the world of golf, but not in my life.

For me, the best player on today’s course never held a golf club in his hand this day. Instead, he leaned on the shoulder of a grateful son. Life is not defined by what the world might hold as dear, but by realizing the best is with those whom we hold dear.

Soul searching begins with sole searching.

April 18, 2012 By kwmccarthy

“Who am I?” is one of the most profound questions you will ever seek to answer. Much of our identity is erroneously formed by others’ opinions of us and shaped by experiences that reinforce and refine our sense of self.

Yet, the true answer to the question is found from above and within. It takes quiet time and solitude. Oddly, being contemplative is harder than it looks—I’m so programmed to equate action with productivity that rest feels like I’m playing hooky from life.

Being alone is not the same as solitude. When I’m alone I can fill the emptiness with television, email, web surfing, reading, or any number of business related activities ill-intended to avoid confronting the real me.

Soul searching is a time of resting in God’s presence, listening for His voice, and seeking His will. Jesus taught that the Kingdom of God is within and we are to seek it first. Yet, most of us pursue fame and fortune “out there in the real world.” Eventually, even precious Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz discovered, “There’s no place like home.”

And when my sole searching leads me to my soul, indeed I have found the kingdom of God. I’m home where God intends me instead of where the world might like me to be.

Plant a smile on your face and enjoy a garden of grins in return.

April 4, 2012 By kwmccarthy

I like to walk around with a big grin on my face. That’s easier said than done when you have lips like mine. Have you seen my lips? Take a look at my picture above, look closely….do you see lips?  I’m lip challenged… lip impaired… lipless. All the skin for my lips must have moved north to my nose. I do have a, shall we say, distinctive nose. With my lips all on the inside of my mouth, walking around with a big grin is work for this face.

But it’s worth it!

Here’s where that grin grows into fun. I’ll be walking and grinning down a crowded downtown street or in an airport. Some people avoid making eye contact for fear I’m some kind of stalker I guess. Others are obliviously lost in their thoughts. But here’s the on-purpose payoff. A lot of people smile back. And some even say, “Hi!” For the price of a smile, I get to enjoy the bounty from the garden of grins I plant as I walk.

Try it and see how it is to be on-purpose.

The present problems you face may be the face you present.

March 28, 2012 By kwmccarthy

The CEO of a company in Houston, TX engaged me to do an On-Purpose program at her headquarters. Fifteen executives gathered around the conference room table.

The COO was a woman named Barb. Early in the program she caught my eye. She had this look! My interpretation of “the look” was a mix of anger and confusion. What had I done to deserve this wrath? It was disturbing my concentration.

As a presenter I tend to home in on certain people as barometers of the group to see if I’m connecting. Barb had grabbed my attention. Could I win her over in the early minutes of a program that was scheduled to go all morning?

After 30 minutes of “the look” from her… I couldn’t take it any longer. I gingerly confronted Barb. I asked, “Have I said something that offended you?” 

“No, I’m loving this on-purpose stuff!”

“Oh!” I was perplexed. “The way you were looking at me I thought you were upset with me.”

She laughed and her beauty truly showed. “This” and she pointed to her face while giving me the look “is my thinking face.”

A gasp erupted in the room from 14 other people and me. In that moment, we had all gleaned the same insight. The only problem was Barb had been working there for three years with these people. They all thought she was upset with them, too, but for years.

Barb now explains to people she meets that she has a “thinking face.” You can only imagine what a difference this has made in Barb’s life.

The present problems you face may be the face you present. Do you or someone you know have a “thinking face” that may be keeping you from being on-purpose?

January 19, 2011 By kwmccarthy

"Intellect without ethics is a disaster in the making."
The On-Purpose Proverbs by Kevin W. McCarthy

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https://kevinwmccarthy.com/intellect-without-ethics-is-a-disaster-in-the-making-the-on-purpose-proverbs-by-kevin-w-mccarthy/

True Generosity

November 27, 2008 By kwmccarthy

Giving out of joy and thanksgiving for our blessings and abundance are the building
blocks for true generosity.

In The On-Purpose Person, the Professor tells the man, "Knowing yourself
better means you're more aware of your special gifts and talents that especially
qualify you to serve. No one else in the world is exactly like you. Someone or some
cause needs you. Think of them as your 'customers' or 'audience' awaiting your performance.

"From this appreciation of yourself, you will naturally share from your strength. Your
prior mind-set may have been one of scarcity rather than abundance. Trust your instinct to give with joy."

During this holiday season, even though our country is in a time of economic turmoil,
remember that On-Purpose® is to serve by giving from our strength in spite of the conditions about us. You may not be able to change the world, but you can make a difference in the world about you. One simple act of kindness offered in thanksgiving is all it takes. And then repeat as the Spirit leads you.

Adversity as a Teacher

October 30, 2008 By kwmccarthy

Adversity is one of life's great teachers dressed in disguise.

"What good can come out of this?" you ask, while pondering your present problem. You're thinking, "It's horrific, terrible, the worst thing that has ever happened." A heavy dullness leads to the clincher questions: "Why me?", "What did I do to deserve this?", "What hope is left?"

Hope! How are hurts transformed into hope? How is crisis turned into contribution? The fifth chapter of the book of Romans (NIV) encourages us to "…rejoice in our
sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance,
character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has
poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Adversity is one of life's great teachers dressed in disguise and leading us to
character, hope, and love. Yes, greatness can emerge from adversity.

Which Road Are You On?

August 20, 2008 By kwmccarthy

Is the road upon which you presently tread
A treadmill that is killing you or
A path for which you are willing to die?

[Read more…] about Which Road Are You On?

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