Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Career & Work

Do Good Manners Matter?

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Ladies and Gentlemen, your manners distinguish you for better or for worse.

Good manners reflect a degree of one’s upbringing, experience, and socioeconomic standing. Good manners, like good grammar in speech, are subtle cultural refinements.

Above all, good manners are voluntary, a choice we make as to how we choose to be and to present ourselves. Ideally, manners come out of a sincere respect and politeness for others as opposed to simply being put on and off to impress others.

A kind soul without proper manners but a sincere graciousness and goodness is far more appealing to me than a formal phony with all the right manners.

Right manners do not always translate into good manners.

Lately, I’ve been pondering both my language and carriage with a measure of concern. Our present culture is so accustomed to using and hearing profanity that we’ve lost our sense of what is truly profane. Gone with the wind are the days when Rhett Butler saying to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” was a scandalous controversy for use of profanity.

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines profane as to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt. Ouch! I don’t know about you but that isn’t the kind of person I want to be known as being.

Mores change over time and generations.

I get that. Today, however, the liberal and insensitive use of profanity—I mean really profane and derisive language directed at people—is a dangerous objectification of one another. This speaks to a deeper pain or rift in society.

Admittedly, I’m no Puritan as I’m apt to drop cuss words from time to time. When I’m real with myself, I don’t like it when I do it. Cussing is typically lazy, dumbed-down language coming from the lesser me rather than the greater me. It tears me down and, worse, brings others with me—not what we leaders want to do.

Yep, both my manner and manners matter.

I’m working to be the best Kevin I can be. Will you join me in cleaning up your language? When you do, you’re also becoming a better leader of your life by becoming a lady or a gentleman.

As I dream about The On-Purpose Planet, where every person is on-purpose, I imagine a more gracious and kinder world. Being On-Purpose is about looking into one’s own heart as well as the hearts of others. As we search our own hearts and find ourselves wanting, it is only fair that offering such understanding and acceptance of others is not for the outer person but the inner soul. Right manners can be learned.

Harshness of heart, however, speaks to a deeper problem.

Jesus told the crowd that would stone the woman, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” That sticks with me. I am too quick to pick up stones. Fortunately, as I age, I’m learning to drop them faster than ever.Humility

The mark of a true leader is a courageously generous spirit who is capable of honoring the worth and dignity of paupers, kings, and everyone in between. Privilege is a gift containing humility that must be opened and embraced. It also helps to send a thank you to those who provided the opportunity.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

In this classic (April, 20 2010) On-Purpose Minute, you’ll catch me at the Ritz-Carlton on Grand Cayman Island. After the video watch the quick 270-degree sweep of this beautiful resort. Special thanks to Daniel, the concierge, who suggested where to shoot the video and escorted me there. Truly a gentleman!

On-Purpose Proverb: Humility is knowing oneself relative to God.

Is Fear Avoidable?

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My research with over 850 small business owners reveals that 32% of the respondents say fear is their greatest obstacle to success.

So what is it with fear?

Can we avoid fear? How do we overcome fear? Is fear really, as the old acronym goes, False Evidence Appearing Real?

In this On-Purpose Business Minute, let’s address the question Is Fear Avoidable? After watching the video, read The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face and what to do to conquer them.

The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face

  1. Fear of rejection
  2. Fear of success
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Fear of exposure for who I really am
  5. Fear of looking stupid or incompetent
  6. Fear of what they will think of me
  7. Fear of making money and exploitation

Overcome your fears using the “For PETE’s Sake” Approach described in The On-Purpose Business Minute:

  • Perception
  • Emotion
  • TrainingFIT 4 LEADING
  • Experience

Many fears are unnatural but very real to us.

Generally, for every fear you have, someone probably makes a living from it. So what is it they have that you don’t? Oh, For PETE’s Sake, they don’t have a thing on you. They simply have an abundance of improved Perception, Emotion, Training, and Experience. Your fear is their joy! How remarkable is that?

Dig into this topic more by reading FIT 4 Leading. This is the least known of my books and part of the On-Purpose Leadership Series. At only $10 plus shipping this small but powerful book provides you with strategies to be a better leader of your life for the rest of your life. Use the link to the book to find a free, introductory webcast at our shopping cart or visit the website.

 

Are You a Fathead?

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Dumb decisions come from dumb people or fatheads, right? Wrong!

We’re all subject to making poor choices.

Would you knowingly inflict brain damage on another person or yourself? Would you willingly diminish your brain capacity? Of course not! Hmmm, then again …

  • What if a particular series of your choices repeated over time is making you especially susceptible to being a fathead?
  • What if those choices were within your control and could help prevent you from the compound effect of one bad decision after another?
  • Would you be interested in learning how to improve your decision-making and to stop the waist?

At the risk of offending, this On-Purpose Minute challenges you to look down on yourself for the answer to the question, “Am I a fathead?”

Your waist size is a dead giveaway.

You’ll know immediately if you suffer from this condition while watching this video. 70% of the U.S. population is overweight or obese according to the Center for Disease Control.

This is the confession of a recovering “fathead.” In 2008, I lost 50 pounds and have kept it off since. Honestly, it has been a struggle. I discovered I was an emotional eater when I was really happy or really sad. Doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room, does it?

I found my right mind by working with Lori, my Health Coach. She gently spoke truth in love into my life and health. She provided me with a meal replacement plan plus regular food while helping me to become more mindful of what and how much I was consuming on a day-to-day basis.

You, too, can work with a Health Coach who can guide and support you in your decision to reboot your brain, bottom, and life. It is very affordable. I’m not talking about a personal trainer who will attempt to grind the pounds off you. Don’t do that! Exercise is great for toning and conditioning but lousy for weight loss. Nutrition is 600% more effective than exercise. The problem is you probably don’t really know how to create a safe, effective, portion-controlled menu for yourself.

If you have Health Coach, then really lean into what he or she has to say. Borrow Can't Out-Exercise a Bad Dietfrom their training, experience, and certification to regain your vitality, vim, and vigor.

Do you want to talk with a Health Coach? If so, I’ll make the arrangements for you. I have an affiliation with health coaches across the USA who will gladly clear your thinking. Email me for a recommendation. Each Health Coach will help your life, health, and style of living be more on-purpose.

———-
Some great weight loss/health quotes:
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. – Tom Wilson
The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. –  Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave
Never eat more than you can lift. – Miss Piggy

How Can I Be a Better Leader?

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“How can I be a better leader?” is a question I am regularly asked by clients and audience members at speaking engagements. Leadership development is 1 of 3 competencies to master to increase one’s contribution and call to service.

Let’s explore the central, inescapable reality of how to be a better leader—The On-Purpose® Principle.

By understanding and applying this concept to your life and work, you’ll see that authentic leadership comes naturally rather than being a forced effort.

To become a leader, become a better you by beginning with knowing your purpose in life—your inherent worth and reason for being that live in your heart. Your purpose is an amazing gift too often buried under layers of doubt, pride, wounds, and challenges. Rather than seeing these layers as prevention from getting you to know who you really are, what if they are protection and preparation for just this time in your life to really understand the power of your two-word purpose, and being on-purpose?

Purpose is the bedrock of all leadership development.

Once you know your purpose, it will not be denied in spite of obstacles and setbacks. It works toward expression and contribution. The only person, circumstance, or condition that can stifle it is you.

Take 100% responsibility for being on-purpose (Think Inc!). Even in the worst of circumstances, you won’t get caught up in the blame game which distracts and chokes the pathway to being on-purpose.

TOPBPerson cover

Let’s take to the whiteboard for insights and practical application of the On-Purpose® Principle so you can create high alignment of your personal purpose with your organizational purpose. That’s how you can create peak or TOP performance as a leader of your life and work.

Keep the On-Purpose® Principle in mind, and you’ll discover that your matters in business, psychology, or management just got a whole lot easier and cheaper to understand and lead.

The bedrock of leadership is all about the purpose of the person being aligned with the purpose of the organization.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

P.S. Want to read and learn more about The On-Purpose® Principle? Order The On-Purpose Business Person by clicking here or buying it from amazon.com.

Are You Prepared To Lose To Gain?

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In today’s On-Purpose® Minute, let’s explore the gains to be found in loss! You might be surprised just how effective loss can be to our long-term benefit.

How do you deal with loss? What is loss?

Are you prepared to have loss in order to gain?

Locallygrown-produceCould it be that loss and—more importantly—learning how to deal with loss are simply as organic to life as the vegetable section at your local Whole Foods store?

In The On-Purpose Person, I reference fighters, floaters, fleers, and flitters as “styles” for dealing with stress and life. There, you’re encouraged to be a navigator, one who leads and manages through change rather than reacting to and being a victim of it. It takes an inherent calm and peace.

As a formerly ranked tennis player, when I have been in “the zone” on the court, I play without the stress and strain of forcing my play. Things just seem to click better. The secret to getting and staying in the zone to some degree is detaching from the usual expected outcome—to win the match.

The ability to play better comes from navigating the experience positively. It is hard to keep this “above the fray” mindset, but when one does, the body and mind are able to perform seemingly without effort.

In business, on the tennis court, or on the golf course, I’ve seen far too many talented people tighten up for fear of loss. This “choking” isn’t a personal failure; it is a growing experience if we allow it to be instructive versus destructive.

Oddly, loss is important to our health, well-being, and finances because it helps us to mature and grow.

Sailors on a ship may not be aware of the big picture or have the experience to place what is happening to the ship in a proper context. A ship’s captain, however, brings the capacity to navigate the shoals and shores safely even in a storm.

If you are learning—and we’re all life-long learners—then anticipate there are situations when you are a sailor and other times when you are a captain.

Learn from your losses, and your life passage will be calmer and more productive as you gain from each loss.

What Can Your Computer Teach You About Life?

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What defines your life?

Does what defines you necessarily define your future?

In today’s On-Purpose Minute, learn to increase your “computing capacity” with a personal upgrade. Create or write the life you want. The On-Purpose Process is a straight-forward method for rebooting your life and creating what your future can become.

It sounds good, but can it really be that way for you? You never know until you try.

The Want List and Tournament process is a great place to start your journey of becoming the true you. Download the free Discovery Guide preview at http://www.discoveryguide.net and get started today with creating the life you want … on-purpose.

Click here to receive an email when I post new On-Purpose Minutes.

How Good Is Your Life Plan?

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Be honest with yourself … do you know how to make a life plan?

Do you even have a plan?

Is it a written life plan?

My experience with clients and readers of The On-Purpose Person tells me very few people have any sort of a plan in place for their lives, especially a written plan. Sure, we have ideas and dreams that we ponder now and then, but to take it to the step of writing out a plan is very rare.

The process in The On-Purpose Person is a format and guide for creating a life plan that is very meaningful and gives you a strategic advantage in life.

Imagine a contractor attempting to build a house without blueprints. It makes no sense, yet many of us are building lives without the benefit of a plan.

Do you want a life plan?

Chances are you don’t know how to structure your life and process the information, so you haven’t created one. Here’s where one of our On-Purpose Personal Leadership Coaches might serve you well.

I have access to the all-time, world’s best planner. Drop me a line, briefly share your interest and the help you want. Perhaps you’ll want to meet him?

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

The On-Purpose Person and Making Life Plans:

“Without a doubt this is the best guide I have seen for creating a meaningful life and plan.”
– Dr. Malcolm E. Hawley, DDS

“The On-Purpose Person is a valuable addition to an important and growing literature on effective time management and leadership. McCarthy brings to life and makes operational powerful ideas that will help all of us make a difference.”
– John W. Rosenblum, PhD, Dean Emeritus, The Darden School

“The best tool I’ve seen for turning good intentions into positive actions. Highly recommended for anybody, but especially for those who need a way to organize unstructured time—like clergy!”
– The Right Reverend William Frey,
Dean, Trinity Episcopal School for Ministry, retired

“What’s happened to the American Dream? Despite working harder, too many people lack fulfillment, happiness, and emotional security. The On-Purpose Person gets us back on track, organized around what really matters, and equipped with a purpose and plan for thriving in a rapidly changing world.”
– Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen, D.O.
Author, Dr. A’s The Habits of Health

“Reading The On-Purpose Person changed my life. The concepts and practical applications detailed in this wonderfully engaging book empowered me to re-focus my personal and professional goals to achieve true inner peace.”
– Gordie Allen
CEO & Professional Sales Trainer, Leads-Plus, Inc.

Are Your Prepositions Working?

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How are your career and/or business results? Who doesn’t want better results?

The solution you seek lives in one of three business “prepositions.”

Are you:

  • Working IN your business
  • Working ON your business
  • Working WITH your business

Michael Gerber‘s business book, The E-Myth, introduced many of us to the concept of working “in” and “on” your business. Michael nails these two concepts.

Let me add to his equation the concept of working “with” your business.

Watch today’s On-Purpose Business Minute and use the three prepositions to assess your business proposition so you can be on-purpose!