Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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Do Good Manners Matter?

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Ladies and Gentlemen, your manners distinguish you for better or for worse.

Good manners reflect a degree of one’s upbringing, experience, and socioeconomic standing. Good manners, like good grammar in speech, are subtle cultural refinements.

Above all, good manners are voluntary, a choice we make as to how we choose to be and to present ourselves. Ideally, manners come out of a sincere respect and politeness for others as opposed to simply being put on and off to impress others.

A kind soul without proper manners but a sincere graciousness and goodness is far more appealing to me than a formal phony with all the right manners.

Right manners do not always translate into good manners.

Lately, I’ve been pondering both my language and carriage with a measure of concern. Our present culture is so accustomed to using and hearing profanity that we’ve lost our sense of what is truly profane. Gone with the wind are the days when Rhett Butler saying to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” was a scandalous controversy for use of profanity.

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines profane as to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt. Ouch! I don’t know about you but that isn’t the kind of person I want to be known as being.

Mores change over time and generations.

I get that. Today, however, the liberal and insensitive use of profanity—I mean really profane and derisive language directed at people—is a dangerous objectification of one another. This speaks to a deeper pain or rift in society.

Admittedly, I’m no Puritan as I’m apt to drop cuss words from time to time. When I’m real with myself, I don’t like it when I do it. Cussing is typically lazy, dumbed-down language coming from the lesser me rather than the greater me. It tears me down and, worse, brings others with me—not what we leaders want to do.

Yep, both my manner and manners matter.

I’m working to be the best Kevin I can be. Will you join me in cleaning up your language? When you do, you’re also becoming a better leader of your life by becoming a lady or a gentleman.

As I dream about The On-Purpose Planet, where every person is on-purpose, I imagine a more gracious and kinder world. Being On-Purpose is about looking into one’s own heart as well as the hearts of others. As we search our own hearts and find ourselves wanting, it is only fair that offering such understanding and acceptance of others is not for the outer person but the inner soul. Right manners can be learned.

Harshness of heart, however, speaks to a deeper problem.

Jesus told the crowd that would stone the woman, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” That sticks with me. I am too quick to pick up stones. Fortunately, as I age, I’m learning to drop them faster than ever.Humility

The mark of a true leader is a courageously generous spirit who is capable of honoring the worth and dignity of paupers, kings, and everyone in between. Privilege is a gift containing humility that must be opened and embraced. It also helps to send a thank you to those who provided the opportunity.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

In this classic (April, 20 2010) On-Purpose Minute, you’ll catch me at the Ritz-Carlton on Grand Cayman Island. After the video watch the quick 270-degree sweep of this beautiful resort. Special thanks to Daniel, the concierge, who suggested where to shoot the video and escorted me there. Truly a gentleman!

On-Purpose Proverb: Humility is knowing oneself relative to God.

What Is Trust? Can I TRUST You?

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What is trust?

TRUST = Truth, Respect, Understanding, Sincerity, Time

Can I TRUST you? is a question living at the heart of every relationship.

Trust is a precious and valuable state of being.

Trust in business and in sales is an essential and valuable character quality that pays dividends.

Squander your trust and you ruin your business. Build trust and you grow your business.

Standard poodle apricot Hamlet
What is trust? Hamlet (above) isn’t your shining example of being trustworthy. Because of trust issues, it costs him freedom and fun.

By way of a negative example, meet our dog, Hamlet (shown a few years ago before he died). Here was a great family dog—but a shining example of the cost of lost trust. His intelligence regularly surprised us. His one great flaw, however, was being off leash.

Within the home and fenced backyard, Hamlet would come when called (about half the time). Off the leash, however, at the dog park or when he escaped, Hamlet was a standard poodle gone wild. He would wander for hours, generally, circling the house in large walkabouts through the neighborhood.

Disobedience has a price.

He rarely got to go to the dog park to play with other dogs. When it was time to leave, he wouldn’t. He was too fast to catch and too smart to be caught. He would seemingly taunt us to catch him by coming within feet of our reach only to dash away. As a result of this distrust, Hamlet lost out on all sorts of privileges and benefits that a more trustworthy pooch would earn.

Hopefully, today’s On-Purpose Business Minute gives you “paws” for thought on what lack of trust could be costing you in terms of sales, customer relationships, employee turnover, and other challenges potentially undermining your business profits.

Are your relationships, options, and opportunities limited because of trust issues?

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I’m a member of Trust Across America, a membership-based organization making the strong case for trust and integrity as business imperatives. Check out the website and join me.

Do You Have a Compelling Why?

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“The compelling why” is not the same as your “why” — your true reason for being.

The concept of a compelling why is really just an important mission that captures our heart and spurs us on with unfolding energy, vigor, and determination. But missions eventually end. At that point, does it mean our reason for being ends too? Of course not!

On-Purpose Peace FE cover
Find What You’ve Been Looking For. Click the Book Cover to Learn More.

Getting on the bandwagon for a good cause is worthy.

But what if there’s more to life than a compelling why?

In today’s On-Purpose Minute, consider the importance of knowing your simple why and the profound manner in which it can inform your life, keep you from costly distractions or dangerous detours, and help you make much better decisions across the board.

Your why can be thought of as the pilot flame. A meaningful cause or a “compelling why” brings added fuel and focus to a fire already burning within you.

Think of your simple why as your purpose in life.

Purpose answers the big question, Why do I exist? When you know the answer to this question, everything else in life has context and meaning. This is a powerful and healthier place to be in your life and decision-making.

At On-Purpose Partners, we help clients write their why in 2-word purpose statements. From decades of experience we know that when this core question is answered short and sweet, life and business improves—period.

A “compelling why” is often batted about by motivational speakers, sales trainers, and leaders to engage people in their cause or vision of the future.

Getting swept up in the moment or the movement regardless of whether it is a charitable cause, a sports team, or a political candidate is exciting and worthwhile. Most of us are drawn to a compelling why and jump on board because it is a good fit or it aligns with our purpose.

Examples of a “compelling why”—really a meaningful mission—are below:

  • A single mom working two jobs to provide a college education for her children
  • Mothers who from their loss of a loved one start MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) to educate and advocate against drunk driving and drivers
  • Volunteers who work to stop human trafficking, hunger, oppression, or other social needs

Worthy causes touch each person’s soul differently. Have you ever considered why one cause is meaningful and engaging to you … while others are not, yet someone else is on fire and passionate about the same cause? Personal experience and preference certainly play into the attraction, but there’s more below the surface.

Your why lives below the surface.

This is the On-Purpose Principle at work where the purpose of the person and the purpose of the organization have high alignment. Therefore, you’re more inclined to be engaged or compelled to participate with the preciousness of your time, talent, and resources.

Would you like help in discovering your 2-word Personal Purpose Statement?

Go to ONPURPOSE.me. On-Purpose.me logoThis online app will guide you through a process of selecting a purpose statement, plus you’ll receive a 10-email course that’s practical to being on-purpose.

Is Fear Avoidable?

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My research with over 850 small business owners reveals that 32% of the respondents say fear is their greatest obstacle to success.

So what is it with fear?

Can we avoid fear? How do we overcome fear? Is fear really, as the old acronym goes, False Evidence Appearing Real?

In this On-Purpose Business Minute, let’s address the question Is Fear Avoidable? After watching the video, read The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face and what to do to conquer them.

The 7 Most Common Fears Business Owners Face

  1. Fear of rejection
  2. Fear of success
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Fear of exposure for who I really am
  5. Fear of looking stupid or incompetent
  6. Fear of what they will think of me
  7. Fear of making money and exploitation

Overcome your fears using the “For PETE’s Sake” Approach described in The On-Purpose Business Minute:

  • Perception
  • Emotion
  • TrainingFIT 4 LEADING
  • Experience

Many fears are unnatural but very real to us.

Generally, for every fear you have, someone probably makes a living from it. So what is it they have that you don’t? Oh, For PETE’s Sake, they don’t have a thing on you. They simply have an abundance of improved Perception, Emotion, Training, and Experience. Your fear is their joy! How remarkable is that?

Dig into this topic more by reading FIT 4 Leading. This is the least known of my books and part of the On-Purpose Leadership Series. At only $10 plus shipping this small but powerful book provides you with strategies to be a better leader of your life for the rest of your life. Use the link to the book to find a free, introductory webcast at our shopping cart or visit the website.

 

Are You Still Living in Trial and Error Mode?

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This On-Purpose® Minute may rattle your cage a bit as I challenge what might be a hidden and unproductive point of view coloring your daily experience. More importantly, it may be setting the trajectory of your life far lower than it was designed to be.

Trials and errors in life are inevitable, but “trial and error” does not need to define our approach to life.

As clarity around who you are comes to light, you’ll discover a greater sense of peace despite the circumstances. Yes, the trials and errors will still come, but they won’t toss you about as they have in the past. Be clear about who you are and whose you are.

On-Purpose Peace FE cove
On-Purpose Peace is a personal or small group guidebook designed to help you be on-purpose as an explorer of your identity in the person of Jesus.

How does “Trial & Error Living” affect us?

Here’s a true account of a small business advisory client from years ago. My client came to me down and discouraged because his business was losing money and he wanted to sell it soon before the bottom fell out.

In reviewing the business, I realized that if he were to sell it there were a few things he could do to “window dress” or clean it up for sale that would make it far more appealing to a buyer. In anticipation of the sale, we began to make some of these small changes and tweaks to his systems.

Two months later, my client called to say he no longer wanted to sell the business because it was making money again; he was thrilled and wanted to keep it. Oddly enough, about a year later, he called me wanting to sell the business again because it was losing money again, albeit after a substantial growth in sales.

We went through the same cycle—cleaning up a few things for the sale and the revenues turning around. It happened yet a third time in 18 months. The third time, however, the pattern of his emotional swings rather than the business matters caught my attention.

His business was basically sound, but there was something “wrong” with the business owner.

Why was he on such an emotional roller coaster? The pattern was apparent—when the business showed bottom-line profits, he was happy. When the business showed bottom-line losses, he was sad.

It struck me that his emotional well-being was tied to a monthly financial statement. The P&L report literally colored his world in 30-day increments.

Good news—good life.
Bad news—bad life.

That’s interesting, but here’s where it got fascinating. I asked him if he knew how to read a financial statement. Of course not. He knew sales was the top number and profit and loss was the bottom number but everything in between was meaningless to him.

In effect, his emotional stability was tied to what was seemingly a random event—profit or loss.

He was a hard worker, but some months he made money and other months he lost money—it all appeared to be random to him.

He was living in trial and error mode.

I gave him a basic primer on financial statements and had him enroll at the local community college in a course called “Finance for Non-Financial People.” Once he understood his financial statements, he gained control of his business and, frankly, his emotions were not subject to the seeming randomness of the financial well-being of his business.

  • Within two years he had doubled his business.
  • He doubled it again by buying out his closest competitor.
  • He ran his business for another 10 years and eventually sold it for a handsome sum and is still living a good life off the profits he made.

He moved from trial and error to being proactive. Instead of running from his problems and ignorance, he ran into them and became educated.

Here’s the point: trial and error mode isn’t necessarily random.

Once we realize our contribution to the “randomness,” we can actually take action to make our lives much more predictable and emotionally stable and calm. Look around to see if the “randomness” is affecting other people or if they seem to be on top of it. If others have it mastered then that’s a clue to you that you’re self-selecting trial and error over leadership and learning.

  • Improve your odds of success by looking for ways to reduce your variables.
  • Be strategic instead of stuck in trial and error mode.
  • Certainty isn’t possible, but do your share to improve your chances and you’ll grow as a person and find life isn’t so crazy after all.

Sometimes the greatest benefit of a business advisor like me or a life coach isn’t what we know technically. Rather it is our outside perspective to look into your life and simply ask, “Why are you doing it that way?”

So, why are you living in trial and error mode when you could be on-purpose?

Don’t go into a new year in trial and error mode. On-Purpose Peace can guide you toward your best year ever.

Click here to receive an email when I post new On-Purpose Minutes.

Do You Know Your Target Audience?

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Are your sales not where you would like them to be?

With many new clients, I often find that the failure to aim narrowly at a specific target audience is

  • confusing clients
  • extending the sales process
  • demanding on salespersons
  • losing them business

Is your marketing strategy and plan truly promoting your goods and services to the right people?

Time and again when interviewing business owners, salespersons, and marketers, I find their marketing message falls short because of confusion over a target market versus a target audience. This simple strategic marketing mistake costs dearly as the customer is left confused with messages that speak at them instead of to them. Confused customers are less inclined to buy.

Conducting a target audience analysis identifies specific needs, wants, hopes, and aspirations.

When you speak the customer’s language it offers assurance that you understand them and know how to solve their problem. Their comfort that you can identify their specific problem draws them to a conclusion that you are more appropriate and capable of caring for them.

When you’re perceived to be a less risky purchase, then the value proposition tilts in your favor. More sales can follow.

Communicating in generalities leaves customers guessing.

Here are two examples of ads from home heating and air conditioning companies in a local paper.

Ad #1 reads: “We’re the number one HVAC specialists. Call us for all your needs.”

Ad #2 reads: “Has your home air conditioning system just stopped? Call and be cool soon.”

Advertiser #2 has invested a bit more time that speaks to the specific needs of his target audience. It may appear a more expensive and narrow strategy, but the real test is not the number of calls, but the number of qualified calls. What do you think, will #2 beat #1?

Follow this simple On-Purpose Business Person rule of thumb:Market in your self interest.

Now that you’re thinking about the concept, who’s your target market and target audience? Want to talk it out? We’re here to help you.

How Solid Is Your Core?

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A solid core is the source of inner strength.

This isn’t to say that fears, doubts, and concerns don’t creep into our lives. The difference is when they do creep in, do they find an unguarded home to invade?

Pileated_Woodpecker
Pileated Woodpecker

You are better positioned to withstand the storms of life with a solid core of purpose, vision, missions, and values.

(Look for the bonus footage on today’s On-Purpose Minute about the cost of having a hollow core versus a solid core. After hurricanes pass over us, we see just which trees have maintained a solid core.)

Did you know that woodpeckers peck at trees to find the rotting trees? That’s where the bugs are. At the solid-core trees, the birds sound them with their beaks and then move on to easier hunting.

At our core, we are spiritual beings.

And at the core of your being is your inherent purpose, your reason for being. Purpose isn’t learned or earned. Purpose is; it exists. Purpose isn’t optional. Your purpose came with your birth package.

People can be woodpeckers who pick and poke at you.

A solid core gives no ground to their offenses. A hollow core makes you susceptible to critical natures and comments. Life gets better all around when you know who you are and you live it solidly from the inside out. That’s being on-purpose!

How Are You Building Your Confidence?

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Gaining confidence begins with a decision to become confident.

The lack of confidence can negatively influence every aspiration and aspect of your life and work. Personal leadership and personal confidence go hand in hand.

Avoid falling prey to the “Fake it until you make it” crowd who believe in building on lies at best and self-deception at worst. Being truthful about a matter where one isn’t experienced serves no one.

Confidence comes with experience and achievement, which can’t be faked.

Confidence, however, is speaking the truth about one’s experience and achievement and allowing the miracles of graciousness and kindness of others to accept you as you are rather than pretending to be someone you aren’t.

How are you gaining and building your confidence?

Please share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section. Thank you!