Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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Will My Life Make A Difference?

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One of Life’s Great Questions is “Will My Life Make A Difference?”

It is an important question because it generally reflects an early mile-marker on the road toward a life of meaning, significance, and purpose. Realistically, it is a road filled with character-building potholes and detours for all but the fortunate.

Asking the question is an indicator of getting beyond oneself and thinking about the well-being of others. Here’s the beginning of maturity.

Age is irrelevant because the desire to make a difference is an attitude of the heart.

The decision to make a difference with one’s life is a choice toward becoming a leader.

While a heroic act may have a defining element of difference-making and reveal strength of character in a moment, true difference-making is a way of life being lived in service.

2-Word Purpose Statements begin with a generic set-up of “I exist to serve by …” in order to help us realize that the flow and development of our “difference-making” capability and delivery matters as much over time as it does in a single act.

In fact, failing to act or to be the hero can be devastating to our psyche. Playing games of “what if” and “if only I had” are inevitable but ultimately counterproductive. Instead of being riddled with guilt or despair, prepare for the next moment, the next and the next to be difference-making in the best sense of the concept.

Over the years, many a person has told me, “At some point in my life, I figured I needed to make a change in my life. I’ve discovered that my purpose is to make a difference.” And they’re incompletely right.

While celebrating this important statement, I’ll ever so gently press and ask, “Have you considered how you are uniquely called to be a difference maker?” My hope is to move them toward a more specific understanding and depth of seeing their greater contribution in more precise terms.

Of course, the next logical question is, “How will I make a difference?”

When it comes to answering the question, here are three morsels of advice:

1. “Don’t should on yourself!”

2. Visit ONPURPOSE.me. Thanks to ONPURPOSE.me, within minutes of starting you can discover your purpose in just 2 words. Knowing your purpose is life changing!

3. Your 2-word purpose provides the specifics to and uniqueness of your difference-making endeavor. Without it, you’re at a strategic and practical disadvantage.

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Bonus Resource: Here’s an added resource to today’s topic. This is written by my friend and colleague, Tana Greene, CEO–CLO of Blue Bloodhound. Read her remarkable story in Inc. Magazine. Click the cover to purchase the book.Tana Greene Creating a World of Difference book image

What Kind of Business Owner Are You?

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Business owners are anyone with a job to do.

In The On-Purpose Business Person I write about the Think Inc! mindset and the importance of taking on responsibility. Blame is the easily spread dung of cowards. They avoid consequences, but will revel in results.

responsibility To put oneself on the line along with the ensuing consequences (good or bad) takes guts.

If you’ll simply get started with assuming responsibilities, you’ll be amazed at how it feeds your confidence and fuels your growth. Rarely will you blow it. Always will you learn from it. The more you attempt, improve, and succeed, then the more opportunity and increasing responsibility will come your way.

Hopefully, you have an executive coach or mentor who helps you sort and think through your responses and lessons when you miss. Your confidant can give you perspective when you miss or hit the mark plus help you raise the bar of what’s possible for you next.

One of the most important roles of a business owner is to set and create a culture or an environment.

How well are you doing with those around you? We can be slack about it or intentional. We can encourage the taking of responsibility or we can crush it. The same holds true at home. It reflects an approach to life, marriage, rearing children, or volunteering for a committee at a not-for-profit.

As a result of this On-Purpose Business Minute, please challenge yourself to truly reflect on this important aspect of leading by taking responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your choices.

Just what kind of business owner are you?

 

Is It Lonely At The Top? Delegation Can Help.

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Chapter 20 of the 1998 version of The On-Purpose Business is titled The Micro-Business, a term I coined then to describe a growing trend of the workplace moving into the homestead. SoHo is a subsequent term that means “Small Office, Home Office.” In the updated version of The On-Purpose Business Person, I decided to go with a new term: Solo Owners. This term includes the one person shop as well as the single owner or couple with employees.

All of these terms describe a growing percentage of the working population who are setting up business from their home either by design or by necessity because of being out of work. These are the brave men and women who tackle the many challenges of owning a small business.  book cover - the on purpose business person

Typically, it is best to think of Solo Owners as one-person shops with support that is either virtual or in close proximity.

  • Professionals such as doctors, lawyers, CPAs, architects, and engineers
  • Skilled trades like carpenters, plumbers, and landscapers
  • Independent cottage industrialists, inventors, counselors, coaches, consultants, and salespersons
  • Creative persons like artists, musicians, writers, and songwriters

Many operate micro-franchises such as those found in the direct sales industry with MLMs and party plan companies.

Solo Owners are diverse, but their challenges are actually quite predictable.

They share a common ailment: what they imagined it would be like and what it is really like are different from what they anticipated.

If you are a Solo Owner, you’ll probably relate to the challenges of getting things accomplished, managing your time, and the constant learning process. The absence of co-workers and mentors is frequently mentioned as well.

What to do? Here’s a simple business leadership growth plan:

  1. Learn about business
  2. Learn to lead yourself and others
  3. Learn how to cooperate and work with othersHellegation - overwhelmed

Solo Owners easily fall into the trap of what I call Hellegation™ – the inability to delegate that creates a living hell on the job. You have a choice: delegation or Hellegation! Follow the advice above and you’re on your way to salvation.

If you’re really stuck, then invest in On-Purpose Executive Coaching to find the freedom business ownership promises to provide.

So, what are your challenges with being lonely at the top and the bottom?

Please share a tip for other Solo Owners below in the comments section. Or ask a question and I’ll add what I can to answer your questions, direct you to resources, or point you toward someone else who can assist you. Others may help you as well. We solo owners need each other. Let’s start now.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

What Makes for a Good Day’s Work?

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What is your measure for a good day’s work?

Chances are you know a good day when you have one, but do you have any specific measures that you could apply to your workday? If you don’t have specific measures, then is it any surprise that so many days are less than fulfilling?

A consistent comment I hear from business advisory clients is dissatisfaction and lack of personal productivity.

Because most of my clients are business owners, CEOs, and presidents, they tend to measure company sales and profits as the basis of success. Of course, that measure is really one for the business, not the person.

Today I’m turning to you to share your standard(s) for what makes for a good day’s work for you. Please use the comments section below today’s On-Purpose Business Minute to share your thoughts with all of us.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

 

Why Is Life So Hard?

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In this On-Purpose Minute we’re exploring one of the greatest hidden impediments to living a better life: confused language, in general, and—specifically—the words of strategy and planning. Purpose, vision, and mission are used synonymously though they are not the same. Each has a unique quality, capacity, and meaning.

Each strategic term of Purpose, Vision, Mission, and Values answers a TOP Pal 2014 w copyrightspecific question and speaks to a distinct aspect of personal and organizational strategy.

Purpose: Why do I exist? (Being: Identity and worth)

Vision: Where am I going? (Seeing: Direction and dreams)

Mission: What do I do? (Doing: Planning and action)

Values: What is important? (Choosing: Decisions and importance)

On-Purpose, therefore, is when your heart, head, and hands are aligned and integrated with the highest values.

On-Purpose® is both a process and state of being strategically integrated while giving practical expression to who you truly are. You prosper others and yourself—it’s a win–win. As a result, you can’t help but make a difference.

Too many of us live our lives desperately seeking “to make a difference.” It is a noble aspiration, but a misguided approach. When the focus is the result and not the cause, then we’re almost sure to get distracted and detoured.

Instead, focus on becoming the personal leader of your life.

Know who you are—really.

  • Write your 2-word purpose statement.
  • Invest the time to clarify your vision and missions.
  • Specify your values—the boundaries and guidelines of your life that matter most to your overall health and well-being.

Need help? Explore The On-Purpose Shop for books, tools, coaching, and more.

Decay and destruction are easier than growth and construction. Being on-purpose is work … but consider the alternative. And that, dear reader, is why life is so hard.

Rock-paper-scissors chartRock–paper–scissors chart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When there isn’t agreement on the definitions of Purpose, Vision, Missions, and Values—but plans are made with them—then those plans are confused. Confused plans result in under-performance. Under-performance calls for a review and update of the plans. Rock–Paper–Scissors!

Can a good old game of Rock–Paper–Scissors help you to unlock the difficulties of your life?

Yes!

  • Rock breaks scissors.
  • Scissors cut paper.
  • Paper covers rock.

We know the rules and the game.

The problem isn’t the process, tools, or sincerity of the people. The problem is outside of the system. The terms of leadership and strategy are confused so the entire “game” is rigged against you to almost always fall short.

Have you ever asked yourself, Why am I so frustrated and overwhelmed? Do you think you’re crazy or something is wrong with you?

If you’re crazy, then you don’t know you’re crazy. If you think you’re crazy, then you’re sane enough to know you’re not going mad. All this, therefore, means you aren’t crazy—just stressed, worn, and detoured from the life of your dreams but not the life of your reality.

When the world within us is confused, directionless, and searching, to assume the world outside of us is going to magically provide what we’re looking for is stepping on the unhealthy path of voluntary victimhood.

To make sense of the world about you, make sense of your life.

Start with consistent definitions of purpose, vision, missions, and values. Then, answer the questions above. The On-Purpose Person provides the method and steps to lead your life on-purpose.

Life After Business Interview

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Listen to Kevin W. McCarthy’s interview about Finding Your Purpose in Business and Life.

Join Kevin as he is interviewed by Ryan Tansom of Life After Business.

Learn what it means to build a company of leaders. Discover where entrepreneurs go off course when it comes to identifying and sticking to their purpose.

The interview is approximately 60 minutes.

Why Am I Fearful?

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Does fear interfere with your life, business, or career?

What’s your fear? What are you fearful of? Where in your life do you say, “I am afraid of … ,” yet you know it is a hang-up—not a danger to your life or limb?

Would you like to be at a place where you can say, “I am not afraid” … and mean it? Read on!

Fear, like pain, is partially designed to be our friend, not our foe.

  • Fear keeps us from being in harm’s way.
  • Fear protects us from injury, peril, and even death.
  • Fear provides for self-preservation.

This is our good or helpful fear.

Bad or harmful fear debilitates our inherent motivation and destroys our confidence. The ripple effects beyond oneself can damage relationships, opportunities, jobs, finances, and more.

  • Fear can be an occupying foe taking up unjust strongholds in our spirit, mind, and body.
  • Fear can lead to anxiety that spawns a panic attack that triggers the fight or flight reaction.

This fear is unhealthy in every aspect.

Fear is not to be necessarily avoided; it is, however, to be understood.

Fear is a God-given guidepost to growth and healing. Facing fear, however, is not a solitary endeavor. Be wise and seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist skilled in working you through your fear in a progressive manner.

Why bother?

If you’re locked in unhealthy fears, your aspirations and dreams are muted.

When fear prevails it is hard to be on-purpose.

How’s Your Self Talk?

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Have you ever tried to break a habit?

At best, it is an awkward experience because we take ourselves off of “autopilot” and go into a “manual” mode. Things we didn’t think about … now we do. And when it comes to breaking bad habits, the bad habit can preoccupy our thinking. As a result of this heightened tension, our discomfort is more apparent to us.

Athletes learn to expect that performance may get worse before it gets better when they’re creating a new habit. Progress, not perfection, is the healthy standard of measure. Staying optimistic can be difficult in the midst of change. Remaining positive, however, is a matter of choice. Decide to stay upbeat and you will! You’ll also benefit by focusing on learning instead of “loss.”

Try the AAA Method: AAA = Awareness + Alternatives + Act on it!

Awareness, developing alternatives, and acting upon your better/best intentions (AAA) is preventive medicine for the sanity of the soul.

Habits are defined as acquired behaviors.

The implication here is that if we acquire new habits, then we can also dispose of and replace bad ones. Now there’s hope!

It’s easy to imagine our life with the benefits of our new habits. Here are some examples:

  • Smoking cessation brings savings of money; no smoky smelling breath, clothes, car, and home; and better health.
  • Getting to a healthier weight resolves or mitigates a host of weight-related conditions and diseases, such as type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Joints and backs with less weight are happier and less creaky.
  • Centering prayer, meditation, or deep breathing can reduce stress and free the mind to think more clearly.
  • Tracking your spending helps you plug wasteful expenditures and impulsive buys. You can increase your savings.

Envisioning new life is easy. Making it happen is not so easy!

The underlying premise is that we’re capable of far more than we understand or we will push ourselves. That’s why so many people turn to coaches to assist them for accountability as well as training.

Your self talk matters.

If you identify yourself with words like failure, slob, worthless, insignificant, wasteful or stupid, then you’re pronouncing lies into your present and carrying them into your future. To what benefit is this? Now that you’re Aware—Stop!

Come up with a list of Alternatives for your identity: successful, neat, worthy, significant, thrifty, and smart.

Now Act on them. If you don’t act on them then they’ll never develop and be fully assimilated in your life. This is the essence of personal leadership—the ability to turn it around by yourself or by having the humility to get the help you need.

Purpose and Passion

Personal motivation—a compelling reason, a why, a purpose—combined with a willingness to pay the price—passion—defines the outcome. That said, extraordinary moments of truth emerge in the midst of the ordinary that test our purpose against our progress. Positive thoughts may get us started but will they sustain us? We choose!

No matter the outcome, you’re learning about you!

Knowledge is powerful when put to good use, such as your self talk. So even if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do, you’re learning something new about yourself. Use your Awareness to develop an Alternative strategy that you Act upon (The AAA Method).

Moments of truth appear in our self talk: good and bad. Let’s not go down the self-deceptive path of mindless affirmations, positive talk, or positive mental attitude. Be real with yourself.

Get to the guts of the matter, the real inner conversation. The ones haunted by doubt, fear, anger, discouragement, disappointment, and hopelessness. Be equipped to choose to win. This is why I encourage you to put the AAA Method to work when your self talk becomes self-defeating.

It is like there’s a debate team living inside you. Who will win?

How’s your self talk coming along? Use the AAA Method to intervene on behalf of your new, better habit. You’ll be on-purpose and better for it.