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Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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Are You Prepared To Lose To Gain?

September 11, 2018 By kwmccarthy

In today’s On-Purpose® Minute, let’s explore the gains to be found in loss! You might be surprised just how effective loss can be to our long-term benefit.

How do you deal with loss? What is loss?

Are you prepared to have loss in order to gain?

Locallygrown-produceCould it be that loss and—more importantly—learning how to deal with loss are simply as organic to life as the vegetable section at your local Whole Foods store?

In The On-Purpose Person, I reference fighters, floaters, fleers, and flitters as “styles” for dealing with stress and life. There, you’re encouraged to be a navigator, one who leads and manages through change rather than reacting to and being a victim of it. It takes an inherent calm and peace.

As a formerly ranked tennis player, when I have been in “the zone” on the court, I play without the stress and strain of forcing my play. Things just seem to click better. The secret to getting and staying in the zone to some degree is detaching from the usual expected outcome—to win the match.

The ability to play better comes from navigating the experience positively. It is hard to keep this “above the fray” mindset, but when one does, the body and mind are able to perform seemingly without effort.

In business, on the tennis court, or on the golf course, I’ve seen far too many talented people tighten up for fear of loss. This “choking” isn’t a personal failure; it is a growing experience if we allow it to be instructive versus destructive.

Oddly, loss is important to our health, well-being, and finances because it helps us to mature and grow.

Sailors on a ship may not be aware of the big picture or have the experience to place what is happening to the ship in a proper context. A ship’s captain, however, brings the capacity to navigate the shoals and shores safely even in a storm.

If you are learning—and we’re all life-long learners—then anticipate there are situations when you are a sailor and other times when you are a captain.

Learn from your losses, and your life passage will be calmer and more productive as you gain from each loss.

Kevin, How Did You Lose Weight And Keep It Off For Two Years ?

July 20, 2010 By kwmccarthy

Many people have asked me to reveal the secret to my success with losing my weight and keeping it off.  This On-Purpose “Minute” gives you the skinny on the keys to my weight loss, keeping it off, and staying at a healthy weight. Warning: this “Minute” is a bit different from what you might be used to seeing.

After watching the video, keep reading as I share my update and a surprising residual insight to this whole healthy experience.

OK!  So I had a bit of fun there with you in this On-Purpose Minute.  Hey, it’s the summer so it’s time to cut loose a bit.  Did you watch it all the way?  Hopefully, you hung in there with me and learned my many “secrets.”

From March to July of 2008, I lost 50 pounds.  Candidly, about 10 pounds have crept back on me here on my 2nd anniversary.  I’m in much better shape so I hope some of it is muscle weight – or is that a rationalization?  The tips I gave you work amazing well, if you apply them.

More importantly, I’ve learned a few things about myself, too.  Keeping a healthy weight isn’t nearly as hard as I imagined it to be.  Certainly my behaviors and habits are much healthier, yet there is still this unnecessary and unhealthy desire – call it an occasional lust – for sweets.  It isn’t a physiological need, but an emotional longing of some sort.  But what?

Some unmet need, hurt, frustration, or anger causes me to run to my drug of choice.  I’m working on understanding what the heck is happening and the pattern.  It mostly rears its ugly head at night.

Thankfully the weight loss and new habits have given me a margin of health, a fresh start, and a clearer mind, but there’s more work to be done on good (not so old) old Kevin.  By stripping away a pile of fat-boy producing habits, I’m getting to the root of my issue(s).  It is all good!

My prayer would be that you, too, get on a journey of healthy on-purpose living.  Your personal insights refine and enrich your life if you will go to them instead of running from them.  If you have a health coach, then work with them.   If you need a health coach, then please contact Judith McCarthy at judithmccarthy@cfl.rr.com to learn how you can do what I did.

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