Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Ritz-Carlton

Do Good Manners Matter?

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Ladies and Gentlemen, your manners distinguish you for better or for worse.

Good manners reflect a degree of one’s upbringing, experience, and socioeconomic standing. Good manners, like good grammar in speech, are subtle cultural refinements.

Above all, good manners are voluntary, a choice we make as to how we choose to be and to present ourselves. Ideally, manners come out of a sincere respect and politeness for others as opposed to simply being put on and off to impress others.

A kind soul without proper manners but a sincere graciousness and goodness is far more appealing to me than a formal phony with all the right manners.

Right manners do not always translate into good manners.

Lately, I’ve been pondering both my language and carriage with a measure of concern. Our present culture is so accustomed to using and hearing profanity that we’ve lost our sense of what is truly profane. Gone with the wind are the days when Rhett Butler saying to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” was a scandalous controversy for use of profanity.

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines profane as to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt. Ouch! I don’t know about you but that isn’t the kind of person I want to be known as being.

Mores change over time and generations.

I get that. Today, however, the liberal and insensitive use of profanity—I mean really profane and derisive language directed at people—is a dangerous objectification of one another. This speaks to a deeper pain or rift in society.

Admittedly, I’m no Puritan as I’m apt to drop cuss words from time to time. When I’m real with myself, I don’t like it when I do it. Cussing is typically lazy, dumbed-down language coming from the lesser me rather than the greater me. It tears me down and, worse, brings others with me—not what we leaders want to do.

Yep, both my manner and manners matter.

I’m working to be the best Kevin I can be. Will you join me in cleaning up your language? When you do, you’re also becoming a better leader of your life by becoming a lady or a gentleman.

As I dream about The On-Purpose Planet, where every person is on-purpose, I imagine a more gracious and kinder world. Being On-Purpose is about looking into one’s own heart as well as the hearts of others. As we search our own hearts and find ourselves wanting, it is only fair that offering such understanding and acceptance of others is not for the outer person but the inner soul. Right manners can be learned.

Harshness of heart, however, speaks to a deeper problem.

Jesus told the crowd that would stone the woman, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” That sticks with me. I am too quick to pick up stones. Fortunately, as I age, I’m learning to drop them faster than ever.Humility

The mark of a true leader is a courageously generous spirit who is capable of honoring the worth and dignity of paupers, kings, and everyone in between. Privilege is a gift containing humility that must be opened and embraced. It also helps to send a thank you to those who provided the opportunity.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

In this classic (April, 20 2010) On-Purpose Minute, you’ll catch me at the Ritz-Carlton on Grand Cayman Island. After the video watch the quick 270-degree sweep of this beautiful resort. Special thanks to Daniel, the concierge, who suggested where to shoot the video and escorted me there. Truly a gentleman!

On-Purpose Proverb: Humility is knowing oneself relative to God.

Creating Customer Service Excellence?

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Customer service is first an attitude before it is a behavior. Too often we focus on creating excellent customer service skills but we neglect the well-being and perspective of the person delivering it. How a customer is treated makes all the difference to their impression, experience, and promotion—yes, promotion—of your business.

Treat your customers right—first, because it is the right thing to do in a civil society. Second, treat them right because it is really smart business.

Do you have a concerted effort to improve the customer experience? If not, why not?

Customer service would appear to rest mostly on the shoulders of the front-line person interacting with the customer.

But does it really? Long before the customer relationship begins the top leaders of the organization hire the employees, set the standards, make investments, train managers, and create training programs.

The front-line employee is an easy target when things go wrong with customer service complaints. Admittedly, the front-line person does have a high responsibility. The fact is customer service improvement is a joint effort unified and girded by the strength of personal leadership across the entire team.

If your customer service levels have plateaued below your standards, then consider that you might have a systemic problem rather than a people challenge. Look to your business strategy, departmental cooperation, hiring, technology, training, or any number of issues under the purview of the “Customer Service” department.

Customer service skills training may provide a quick fix, but it is rarely a long-term improvement in the customer experience.

Watch this On-Purpose Minute, “Do Good Manners Matter?” about the importance of manners and the Ritz-Carlton approach to serving “ladies and gentlemen.” Having recently stayed at the Ritz-Carlton in Buckhead, GA I can tell you that this approach remains alive and well.

How On-Purpose Partners can help you

If you lead the company, you may need an assessment and recommendation to shift your corporate culture toward customer service excellence. We also offer one-on-one executive coaching as well as training and development programs designed to help your team members become TOP Performers and excellent in their customer service. Email us to arrange an appointment.