Personal development

Do You Want to Grow into Maturity?

November 28, 2017 By kwmccarthy

What does it mean to be a grownup, to mature, or to assume adult behavior?

Sadly, far too many adult women and men haven’t a clue what it means to act, live, and be an adult. The process of growing into maturity eludes them.

We men, in particular, seem slow to grow into the responsibilities of manhood. It has less to do with the physiology of aging and more to do with psychology and social norms. Matters like avoidance of responsibilities and lack of clarity around modern male roles complicate it and make it that much easier to put off being a man.

Perhaps the story of Peter Pan is too taken to heart and we’ve decided to “Never Grow Up.”

Women suffer from lack of maturity as well. My mother is in a retirement living situation where the women outnumber the men probably 3 to 1. When I speak with the female staff about many of the senior women, they tell tales of a new man arriving on the scene and it is like junior high girls bickering and posturing.

What a loss!

We can’t really be a very fully engaged on-purpose player when we’re living below our maturity level.

When our identity is tied to something other than our purpose, we’re subject to the whims of the world or the mercurial nature of other people’s opinions about us.

Maturity, like anything worthwhile, begins with a decision to grow up.

Yes, it takes practice, often a mentor or coach, and the desire to keep at it. And work and emotional management! Practice does pay off. The rewards of maturity are to live into the life designed for us and to make a greater contribution with our life.

Seek out a mentor, life coach, or counselor with whom you can create a structured relationship for personal leadership growth and development. This intentional approach and relationship provide the benefits of accountability, fresh perspective, and experience.

On-Purpose Partners can help with On-Purpose Peace through Do-It-Yourself (DIY) or Do-It-Right (DIR) with one of our coaches.

If you want to learn something new, then invest in becoming a more mature and capable person.

Take one step toward being more responsible for yourself. Then another step, then another. Soon you’ll discover that growing up isn’t such a big deal if you take care of the small deals along the way.

On-Purpose Tip: The process within The On-Purpose Person provides a methodology to better answer some of Life’s Great Questions about our identity and place in the world. If you don’t know who you are, then you’ll likely overcompensate by living life either too small or too large. The posing can become a preoccupation instead of being about your true occupation.

Stop wasting your years! Decide to grow up.

How Do I Become A Leader?

April 25, 2017 By kwmccarthy

In a conversation with a very financially successful woman she confessed to me “I am not a leader.” Her sincere, albeit inaccurate, self-assessment stunned me. Not only did I respect her as a leader, I knew a number of others who shared my opinion of her.

It didn’t matter what I or others thought of her. She didn’t see herself as a leader, so she wasn’t. But I did have a long conversation with her to share some of what is in this On-Purpose Minute video and text.

Just as I believe we’re on-purpose persons in creation, I believe we’re all leaders in creation, too.

Here’s why: We are all leaders at some place, in some topic, at some time, or with some people. Clearly, there are those of us who are more naturally front and center in visible positions of leadership.

The conversation with the woman got me thinking about those who don’t see themselves as leaders. With this On-Purpose Minute, my hope is I can awaken you to your leadership in small areas so you can leverage these as building blocks to grow your personal leadership.

Here are Five Tough Shifts in your thinking to become a leader:

Recognize where you presently lead
Relabel yourself as a leader
Know yourself better
Practice your leadership skills by leading your life better
Realize you won’t please everyone

Feel free to add your suggestions in the comment section below.

This is a classic On-Purpose Minute. The On-Purpose Leader Experience is NOT being offered this May. Below is a link to a preview of one from May 2012.

Here is a link to a preview of The On-Purpose Leader Experience.

Do You Have A Mentor?

September 12, 2013 By kwmccarthy

Do you want to become a better leader of your life? Learn how at The On-Purpose Leader Experience at our website. Enrollment is happening now for a new Experience starting Tuesday, Sept. 24. Visit the website and watch Webcast 1 from September 2012.

_________________________________________

A couple of decades ago a friend of mine attempted to organize a mentor program for those of us in our thirties. He reached out to select men in their 50s and 60s to recruit them as mentors. To his surprise, all of the men he approached felt inadequate to the task of being a mentor. You see, they had never really been mentored so they perceived themselves as not being up to the task and responsibility. Sadly, the program never got off the ground as a result.

Chances are that you, too, don't have a mentor. But do you wish you did?

A mentor is a person with an impersonal interest in your personal leadership development and personal growth. You may be thinking, "'an impersonal interest?' I would think it would be a very personal interest."

Actually, those of us who mentor need to maintain a healthy distance from our proteges lest we run the risk of being too close to the person. We risk becoming their fan, instead of their mentor. The effect of too much closeness colors our perceptions and shades our reflective feedback.

As a mentor, I must place my commitment to the mentor-protege roles and process above the personal relationship. Similarly, a defense lawyer must place the system of law above the client to ensure justice is served.

To have a "yes man" as a mentor is to have no mentor at all. Mentors must be able to speak truth in love and be willing to suffer the consequence of offending. Truth is the stock and trade of a mentor.

Mentors aren't dictators; we refine and develop a person's inherent leadership and innate intelligence and capacity for good. Allowing proteges to experience the consequences of their decisions comes with the title of mentor. We need to speak our piece and learn to shut up. Our ultimate interest must be independent, not co-dependent, proteges. Any mentor who is doing otherwise, is simply on an ego trip.

Yoda from Star Wars may be the most famous of all fictional mentors as the unlikely leader of the Jedi Knights. Wouldn't we all like to have a mentor teach us to use "The Force" so we can perform like a Jedi? Recall, however, how many times old Yoda seems to scrunch his face in dismay as Anakin or Luke Skywalker gets ready to do some impulsive (stupid) move that will turn the Force into a Farce.

Who in your life is or was a mentor for you? What is it about your mentor relationship that makes it special? What does your mentor provide you?

In the interim, The On-Purpose Leader Experience is a highly affordable option where I'm available to be your mentor via phone and the online group.

What Is Your Cost of Being Off-Purpose?

September 10, 2013 By kwmccarthy

Put on your financial hat for an On-Purpose Minute. If I asked you to pay me $1.22 to help you save a portion of $1,000, would you “risk” it? Most likely, yes. It is an easy business decision. In fact, you would probably ask, “What’s the catch?” There is a catch!

Prior to the 30-minute webcast of The POWER of Your 2-Word Purpose Statement (watch here), I conducted a survey of registrants. One of the survey questions was, “If you had to put a U.S. dollar figure on being disadvantaged without or a weak purpose, vision, or mission statement, which best reflects your cost of being ‘off-purpose’?”

The multiple choice answers can be found in the first seven columns (see chart below) plus “Other.” Over 47% of those surveyed indicated the cost of being off-purpose was over $1,000,000. Astonishingly the write-in text for the “Other” included words like immeasurable, incalculable, and priceless. At 22% it ranked highest. Not bad for an un-choice!

To be on-purpose, you need to make an intentional choice to actually do something about it. The ROI is amazing, especially for those in the 47% group. Immeasurable, incalculable, priceless? Yes!

Are You A Leader?

October 30, 2012 By kwmccarthy

Yes, you are a leader! There is no question that you are a leader and that you are called to be improving as a leader. Over the years, however, truly talented people hold themselves back simply because of their attitude toward leaders and being a leader. Take a look at the headlines below in yellow. Ask yourself, “Which am I?” Then read the appropriate section for you.

“I am not a leader.”

If so, now is the time to change that misperception! That, by the way, is exactly what it is—a mistaken identity or view of yourself.

This classic On-Purpose Minute addresses the fallacy of “I’m not a leader.” It is just that: a lie and label which you neither need to carry nor wear any longer. Remarkably, you have leadership skills and qualities that are dormant and underdeveloped waiting to be brought forward. You two-word purpose statement begins the process of being on-purpose.

“I am a leader.”

Leaders are learners and readers. Not only do you step up to the responsibilities of being a leader, you welcome the chance to learn and improve. It may have taken you years to get to this place in your life, but you found you’re making progress.

The On-Purpose Leader Experience will accelerate your leadership development and growth unlike any leadership program or course you’ve ever attended. By starting at the heart of your heart—your purpose—you will have a solid core and confidence to know who you are.

Who is bringing out the leader in you?

May I? Today, we’re starting another 6-week cycle of The On-Purpose Leader Experience. There’s a money back guarantee so all you have to invest is your time. We’ve never had an unsatisfied participant in 20 years of offering this content in a classroom or online.

Please visit The On-Purpose Leader Experience website and learn more about becoming a stronger personal leader of your life. Do this and you will more readily develop and improve in every area of life.

The On-Purpose Leader Experience: $197 per person / $297 per couple

Be my guest to preview webcast 1 on Oct. 30 at 3:05 P.M. Eastern USA.

Click here to be taken to the 45-minute Preview Webcast

The On-Purpose Leader Teleseminar Replay

March 5, 2010 By kwmccarthy

"What am I going to do when I grow up?"

It is funny when we say it, yet the price of not really knowing who we are as grown-ups is needlessly expensive to every aspect of our lives.

I get it! You're stretched to the max and burdened under more
commitments than you have time. Life is wrapped so tight, that you're
not sure where to begin with making your life make sense.

Now, you can test drive The On-Purpose Leader program which is based on The On-Purpose Person. Listen and watch the replay of the introductory broadcast by CLICKING HERE. You will be taken to the replay page. Be sure to click on "SLIDES" in the upper left hand corner so you can watch and listen.

The program includes four remaining teleseminars, replays, and web site support. Enrollment for this series ends: Wednesday, March 10, midnight.

Striving for Life Balance

February 27, 2008 By kwmccarthy

Striving for balance is a crazy-making, pointless waste of your time, effort, and emotional energy. Attempting to live up to “the balanced life” standard only heaps on lumps of guilt and disappointment, along with a gnawing sense of low-grade failure. Living with the glass half full in a pessimist’s paradise, despite your hope, optimism, and desire for improvement.

The problem is epidemic. Our entire culture has so accepted the myth that balance in life is the accepted norm for what makes for a successful life. Well, perhaps, having tons of money is the even bigger myth. So behind materialism for confusing our concept of the ideal life is this idea of balance.

I’ve known for decades that this kind of thinking was erroneous, yet the point was driven home to me in the spring of 2006. I was an in-studio radio show guest on Lee & Friends hosted by Lee Brandel on AM 950 WTLN in Orlando, FL. When I shared my perspective on work-life balance, here’s what Lee had to say:

“Thank you! In twenty years of interviewing, you are the first guest to ever tell my listeners and me to stop trying to balance our lives! What a refreshing and insightful thought. I am relieved.”

Is it any wonder why we when we feel so blue and down about ourselves that we run to Starbucks for a java jumpstart for the burned-out battery of our souls? We’re putting together life’s puzzle with flawed instructions and paying the price in every aspect of our lives and careers.

For too many years, you’ve had the wool pulled over your eyes by legions of work-life gurus and coaches. These “experts” have also bought the lie. They’ve unquestioningly mimicked what they heard and merely accepted the pursuit of work-life balance as a greater truth and aspiration. Just because a lie is repeated, doesn’t make it true. Yet the idea of balancing your work commitments and family obligations is so cemented in our culture that it is given universal truth status.

I’m a self-help heretic on this topic. I’m telling you there’s no sense in pursuing work-life balance. Open up your life to a new possibility where you’ll get higher dividends for all of your effort and energy with no risk of failure.

It’s like a man who spent his entire life staring at the corner of a towering wall. He’s master of its every nuance and built a good life being a wall looker. He lives in a safe and secure place that’s his home.

Then I come along, turn him around, and say, “Look what’s been behind you the whole time! There’s a garden, mountains, the ocean, and a horizon that stretches as far as the eye can see. You can go to these places or turn back around to your corner wall world.” I urge him, “Please step with me to these new places, experiences, and adventure of a lifetime.”

He answered, “But I’ve never experienced any of what you’re describing. It can’t be for real. It is all just an illusion.” He turns around to continue living his safe and secure life at the corner wall.

Don’t be a wall watcher any longer.