pain

Are You Happily Distracted?

February 5, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Warning: This On-Purpose Minute blog post has a sting. Proceed with caution.

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We live in the entertainment economy. We’re so immersed in it that we’re like fish who don’t realize they’re swimming in water.

For example, the February 1 NFL Super Bowl XLIX drew an estimated 114.4 million viewers. Admittedly, I was one of them taking in the game, commercials, and halftime. Pro football is my sports distraction of choice along with suspense thrilling movies and TV shows.

I know these next two paragraphs will be controversial, but here goes anyway. When halftime performer Katy Perry rode out on a giant golden lion, Moses came to my mind. Remember Moses (Exodus 32) coming down the mountain with the 10 Commandments and seeing the people with a golden calf. Despite being delivered from Egypt, led through the Red Sea, and fed with manna from heaven, the people were easily distracted with images of gold.

Now compare tens of thousands in a packed stadium cheering and the millions of us at homes and parties who were glued to the TV in utter fascination as this tiny singer decked in flames entered the arena strapped atop the golden king of the jungle. And we wonder why the Jihadists call us the Great Satan. Seen through their eyes and without context, we look like worshipers of false gods “deserving” of punishment. The difference of course was that God didn’t smite the Israelites, but thanks to Moses’ intervention they received mercy and grace, not murder and mayhem.

I share my disturbing vision to shock you out of the depth of the “entertainment immersion” to invite you to breathe the fresh air of a life lived more thoughtfully and fully alive. Think of this message as CPR for the soul.

Be sure to invest yourself in the matters of life that matter the most. Go more deeply into the discovery of knowing who you are, how you were designed, and the difference your life can make in the world of the “happily distracted” who are filled but unfulfilled.

Distractions abound in an ADHD-paced schedule and life. Distractions prevent us from getting to clarity and building lives of maturity, depth, and greater contribution. When distractions become our way of life, the way of our life is passing us by.

How many times have you said, “I just want to be happy”? Perhaps you’ve said it about your children, too. To be happy is certainly a worthy emotional state.

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Dare I ask …

Is happiness the true gold standard for the ideal emotional state?

Can we always be happy?

Are we entitled to happiness?

Yes, I believe in the book title from the Minirth Meier New Life Clinic, Happiness is a Choice. I’m happy to be happy!

Perhaps my age is showing with my questions (and answer). Hopefully, I’m not a cynic, but a keen observer of the human condition. The “pursuit of happiness” as we understand and apply it in the 21st Century may actually not be in our long-term best interest. Too often the pursuit of happiness is the unhealthy avoidance of reality. Denial and distraction are a dangerous one-two combination that take us down an unhealthy path of avoidance.

Happiness, for all its good as it is in use today, is a fleeting, temporary, or surface emotion. Happiness is circumstantial and has the effect of drug tolerance. What it takes to makes us happy tends to get ramped up over time. We need more and bigger to satisfy our happiness quotient.

The more enduring emotions are love, joy, and peace because they are attitudes of choice, not circumstances. The matter becomes, not what can I do to be happy but can I be at peace regardless of my circumstances.

Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search For Meaning profoundly observed that those who survived in Nazi prison camps had a compelling reason and will to live. In essence, they made peace with their circumstances and captors. They lived until another day because they had a purpose, a reason for being.

Pursuing your purpose (instead of happiness) opens the back door to the prosperous and joyful life of being more at peace. Get off the “happy drug” of distractions. Stop paying the high price of avoiding being the true you.

Frankly, we need you to be more of you. You’re the only one who can be you.

Kidney Stone Battles: Part 2

May 14, 2009 By kwmccarthy

OK, so here I am now day 3 in the war of Kevin vs. the Kidney Stone(s). I've turned the corner to victory after a couple of days filled with so much pain I could only think for about 20 minutes at a time before I had to rest.

Admittedly, I feel beat up inside, my head is throbbing, but the pain is minimal and infrequent – more like being bruised. I'm happy to be on the road to recovery and to have avoided the lithotripsy procedure mostly because my son, Charles, graduation from Christ School is this weekend. We're leaving tomorrow and as of yesterday I knew I couldn't make the drive and might miss it. At this stage, things are a go for Judith, Anne, and me to make the trip.

From this kidney stone episode I've learned a few of things:

There are many home remedies on the Internet to help pass stones. I tried several. Did they work? Honestly, I can't say that they did one way or the other. I will say the "drink 6 cans of Coca-Cola followed by an asparagus puree" was the most challenging. I got to 4 cans, my teeth rotted and fell out 🙂 but the fast relief I was promised was apparently 2 cans short of doing the job. Of course, this caffeinated, sugar high creates a whole set of different challenges. I tried apple cider vinegar and water. I drank fresh squeezed lemon juice and water. I tried the "jump and bump" method to shake this thing out. The pain continued.
Pain management is the key. As long as I was in severe pain I believe my body was in some sort of shut down mode – a kind of death grip between the kidney stone and the appropriate body part waging war. In the end, pain management, I believe, provided a window of relaxation that allowed for the gradual release to begin.
Use heat to help with the pain. Warm showers with the water on my side works wonders. A heating pad. Yesterday I used an 8 hour Icy Hot patch on my back. That was wonderfully soothing.
Clearly, seek out medical advice so at least you can get the prescription for the drugs that can help manage pain. Typically, I'm one who avoids the doctors because so many other pressures are on them to matters other than healing. This interference on their profession causes me to pause and question the quality of care. Legal matters have them thinking in terms of the worse case scenario and protecting themselves. Demands to see more patients means they can ill-afford to invest too much time with one patient. Sadly, they've become more prescription writers than true healers. In the case of a kidney stone, however, take the prescription.
Find a "Doc in A Box" walk in clinic to get fast care. Avoid the emergency room. Kidney stones in emergency rooms must fall way down on the triage list. When I had my first kidney stone I went to the local emergency room at 2 am. Lying on the floor in pain for three hours, I finally left realizing I was better off in my own bed in pain. Another time, after sitting for two hours in pain, I was told they were still unsure how long it would be before I was seen. I left. To add insult to infirmity, because I had been through triage they then sent me a bill for a full emergency room visit. That was a residual pain I didn't see coming.
Most of all, AVOID kidney stones. Once ones gets a kidney stone, it is my understanding, one is more prone to produce more. How to avoid them: Drink plenty of water. Watch your food intake.
Finally, pray. I asked people to pray for my recovery. Healing comes in many ways.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

Update: January 14, 2013

I've had couple of mild kidney stones since this original post. I found this product – Stone Breaker – below that I now use when the pain comes on. It seems to accelerate the passing process for me by "melting" the stones so they pass is a thicker disolved form rather than hard and sharp. Whole Foods carries it if you need it in a hurry.

Kevin & His Kidney Stone: This Too Shall Pass.

May 12, 2009 By kwmccarthy

I am at home from work with a kidney stone on my left side. Man these things are painful. I've been trying a variety of home remedies to avoid lithotripsy. A few years ago I had that procedure done. It worked but I prefer to avoid it if at all possible. By comparison, this kidney stone isn't nearly as painful as that first one.

I can work with the pain for about 30 minutes and finally my brain just shuts down and I crawl back in bed.

So who out there has a way that helped them pass kidney stones?

I've been drinking lots of water plus a few ounces of apple cider vinegar and then applying heat with showers and a heating pad. Tylenol provides a measure of pain relief.

The pattern of my problem is emerging. Typically, when I've exercised or worked in the hot Florida sun for a long time, I get dehyrdrated and then drink something with high measures of electrolytes. A few hours later, I'm in pain. This has happened twice in the past month. I also think that San Pellegrino mineral water to excess causes me problems perhaps due to the mineral content. As the summer months come, remember to drink water.

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