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Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

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Leadership development

Do You Want More Balance in Your Life?

December 4, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Be sure to check out the free offer to download Kevin’s poem: A “Balanced” Life at the end of this post!

It seems that everyone wants more balance.

People want:

  • A higher checking account balance
  • A perfectly balanced body
  • A balanced diet

So doesn’t it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn’t replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Work–life balance is in high demand.

But do you have a true definition or image in your mind’s eye for what constitutes a proper work–life balance definition? Experience tells me that most people love the idea of work–life balance, and they’re seeking and investing in tips and techniques all too regularly but not getting the results they want. Let me save you some time!

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you. It doesn’t work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

“So why, Kevin,” you may ask, “are you such a contrarian?” No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades.

Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities.

Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is hogwash!

A life in balance is a myth.

It is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn’t work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they’re so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth!

Doing life is learning life. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

Others will claim to be so busy, overworked, and stressed that they believe more balance will finally bring them the peace, comfort, and security they’re working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today’s On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute titled “Do You Want A Balanced Life?” I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. Below, you’ll find a link to download my poem titled A “Balanced” Life.

My hope is that you’ll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort.

I’ve played the “balance your life game” in the past. No more!

Today when someone says “I want more balance in my life,” I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, “I’m hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what’s there.” No Virginia, the world is not flat.

The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed thinking despite being so broadly accepted.

So allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that’s impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn’t semantics; this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of “being out of balance.” You’ll learn to live with the joyful intensity where being “off balance” doesn’t matter and being true to yourself and more on-purpose does matter.

Replace your tiring, old concept of balance in life.

Change your “ideal” and you’ll transform your life for the better as you integrate your life rather than balance it.

To download my poem A “Balanced” Life, go to our shopping cart to get your free copy.

How Solid Is Your Leadership?

October 4, 2018 By kwmccarthy

The self-awareness and inner strength of the leader get transmitted throughout the team, division, or business.

It is hard to see ourselves for how we really are.

  • Some of us are hard on ourselves.
  • Others of us overestimate the strength of our leadership.

There’s one defining benchmark that will clarify how solid your leadership is.

I address it in this On-Purpose Business Minute.

Have you ever been led by a solid core leader? Count your blessings!

How Are You Learning to Be in Business?

April 19, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Most people in business really don’t know what they are doing when it comes to the business of business.

It doesn’t mean they aren’t successful. It means they generally aren’t as successful as they could be. In a moment of candor, most of us will tell you that we’re plowing into virgin territory regularly. And what we’re doing for continuing education is generally a hodgepodge from a variety of sources.

A great solution is to join a peer learning group. More on those later in this post.

If you own a business and you don’t understand the foundations of business, then you’re likely functioning at 50% or less of your potential. Where else can you get an ROI (return on investment) like that for such little effort and energy expended?

Learn to be a Business Person

Most management and business training tend to be job specific or skills related. Overlooked are the fundamental concepts of business, the free enterprise system, and basics of what is called “general management” and business leadership. It is expensive to learn the basics of business.

Most businesses are built by—as Michael Gerber, author of The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It, calls them—technicians who have an entrepreneurial seizure. They haven’t got a clue about being in business. Look no further than the professions of engineering, medicine, and law, for example, for really smart people who often don’t have a clue how to do business but are in business or own one. At least the professions have enough honesty to call them practices instead of businesses. : )

For years I’ve asked the question, “How did you learn how to do business?” The typical response is “School of Hard Knocks.” In other words, trial and error is the teacher—a cruel one at that. Check out the results of this small study I conducted with attendees of a previous webinar. (click on it to see a full-size version)

How Did You Learn to Do Business A small percentage of people have undergraduate business degrees or an MBA.

Candidly, as a man with both an undergraduate business degree (BS from Lehigh University) and an MBA (University of Virginia Darden Graduate School of Business Administration), I’ll confess my college degrees prepared me with concepts, tools, language, and business context. They didn’t, however, turn me into a businessman. Degrees accelerate learning but they don’t make the person quite like being on the job does. We can’t avoid the School of Hard Knocks, but we can be prepared to learn the lessons faster, smarter, and less hard.

Becoming a Better Business Person

What are some of the ways to improve as a business person?

  1. Business consultants are an effective means for business improvement. Match a consultant’s strengths to your weaknesses and your business will prosper. Use consultants to set-up, fix, and refine systems where you lack the expertise or time to learn. This is especially helpful for those one-time set-ups such as an accounting system, putting up a website, or succession planning.
  2. Executive and business coaching are ways to improve as a business person on the job. Having someone come alongside and “teach you to fish” is important.
  3. Peer business owners outside and inside your industry. Generally, these are casual meetings where you learn from one another. Golf is often played!
  4. Associations often provide industry-specific training and resources. Tap into your association and see what they have to offer. Another great source is your Chamber of Commerce or local business development center. They often provide very reasonably priced training with local experts.
  5. Read books on business and leadership: Shameless plOP Book covers stretchedug coming … Read The On-Purpose Business Person and The On-Purpose Person. Together they lay the groundwork for leading a business and leading your life.
  6. Peer Learning to the rescue: One of the most overlooked programs for business training is non-competitive, facilitated, peer learning groups. In Napoleon Hill’s classic book Think and Grow Rich, he introduces the business idea of mastermind groups. These are generally self-managed versus having third-party facilitators who prepare the agenda and lead the group. Peer learning groups are also called business roundtables or CEO groups. The power of having peer learning grows your learning exponentially because the groups typically involve business training, reading business books, special learning programs, or technologies. In other words, they combine all the ways we learn plus the many benefits I’ve outlined in this On-Purpose Business Minute.

Here are some recommended resources for peer learning groups:

  • CEO: Colleagues of Executive Online: John Smith, the founder of CEO, pioneered the concepts of business roundtables for Christians in 1989. In April of 1990, I joined one of John’s CEO groups. He’s been a mentor and friend ever since. John now offers virtual groups leveraging video conferencing. I’m a co-chair of a group with John.
  • Vistage International: I know several people who participate in, speak to, or chair Vistage groups. Generally, Vistage members are running businesses with a minimum of ten or more employees. Dave Zerfoss in Charlotte, NC, is a personal friend and top-notch chair. Connect with him directly if this interests you.
  • C12: I know Buck Jacobs, the founder of C12, as well as many members and chairs. C12 is designed for the Christian business person. In Orlando, connect with Kevin Respress.
  • Peerspectives Roundtables: Peerspectives is both a group as well as a specific technique developed by the Edward Lowe Foundation. The Peerspectives technique provides a structured approach to problem-solving and sharing. A friend of mine, Steve Quello, uses this approach in Florida.
  • Christian Roundtable Groups are sponsored by Truth@Work and are designed for solo owner or SOHO operators.
  • The Advisory Board has been around for decades. I don’t have personal experience or relationships there but given its long-standing presence, I have to believe they offer excellent value and opportunity to grow.

So there’s my short list of recommendations for bolstering your business skills, concepts, and relationships. If you are serious about growing your business to the next level, then run, don’t walk to find yourself a peer learning group.

How Do I Become A Leader?

April 25, 2017 By kwmccarthy

In a conversation with a very financially successful woman she confessed to me “I am not a leader.” Her sincere, albeit inaccurate, self-assessment stunned me. Not only did I respect her as a leader, I knew a number of others who shared my opinion of her. 

It didn’t matter what I or others thought of her. She didn’t see herself as a leader, so she wasn’t. But I did have a long conversation with her to share some of what is in this On-Purpose Minute video and text.

Just as I believe we’re on-purpose persons in creation, I believe we’re all leaders in creation, too. Image of two hands with one finger of each touching, with the quotation "Every person is a leader in creation."

Here’s why: We are all leaders at some place, in some topic, at some time, or with some people. Clearly, there are those of us who are more naturally front and center in visible positions of leadership. 

The conversation with the woman got me thinking about those who don’t see themselves as leaders. With this On-Purpose Minute, my hope is I can awaken you to your leadership in small areas so you can leverage these as building blocks to grow your personal leadership.

Here are Five Tough Shifts in your thinking to become a leader:

  1. Recognize where you presently lead
  2. Relabel yourself as a leader
  3. Know yourself better
  4. Practice your leadership skills by leading your life better
  5. Realize you won’t please everyone

Feel free to add your suggestions in the comment section below.

This is a classic On-Purpose Minute. The On-Purpose Leader Experience is NOT being offered this May. Below is a link to a preview of one from May 2012. 

 Here is a link to a preview of The On-Purpose Leader Experience. 

Are You A Leader?

August 13, 2013 By kwmccarthy

 

I mentor a number of people. One of the most heartbreaking aspectTOPLEX Logos of this work is to see people's leadership blinders. There are many ways of "acquiring" these blinders that needlessly bury and blind their leadership potential. 

I've been gifted with eyes to see into the hearts of people and to have an inherent sense of their leadership potential. Frankly, this gift has a heartbreaking downside as I see people who cower from knowing who they really are and settle for less in this one lifetime. 

I understand that it takes courage to find one's voice in the world. May I help you?

What Happened To Us? Was it a mentor or parent who failed to recognize your potential and polish the genius of your spirit? Perhaps it was abuse at the hands of a tyrant who pushed you down in order to build up himself or herself? Or is it simply the fear of being known and choosing to play life too safely? The reasons are many, yet the results are the same—being off-purpose and suffering the costs of being less than who we were intended to be and become.

Are you ready to reject mediocrity and begin majoring in your life? May I be your mentor for six weeks through The On-Purpose Leader Experience? Join other on-purpose persons as we go deep into the heart of being a leader to the spirit of who you are. This breakthrough Experience is hard to grasp on the front end, yet, I promise, you will not regret participating in it.

Each week of six, we delve into the On-Purpose Process in a fun, yet meaningful and respectful manner to help you get to the essence of who you are and how you can become a more confident, strong, and faithful leader of your life.

Click here for more information about The On-Purpose Leader Experience.

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