Kevin W. McCarthy

The Professor of On-Purpose

Fear of flying

How Do I Combat Fear?

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Look at this list of fears. How many of them grip you?

Be sure to read the FEAR acronym later in this post; it’s not the “False Evidence Appearing Real” one—but that’s good too. Read on and learn how to combat fear.

  • Fear of public speaking
  • Fear of starting a business
  • Fear of being seen for who I really am
  • Fear of intimacy or closeness
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of making cold calls
  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of abandonmentfear
  • Fear of relationships
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of spiders
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of big words
  • Fear of death
  • Fear of loneliness
  • Fear of flying
  • Fear of snakes
  • Fear of people
  • Fear of a secret being revealed
  • Fear of risk
  • Fear of looking stupid
  • Fear of looking smart

The point of this partial list of fears is that fear exists.

Fear itself can be very real and dangerous.

When it comes to some fear, it is often simply a (mis)perception of reality. Fear is a normal and healthy part of life. Yes, healthy! For every fear I have, there is someone who isn’t phased in the least by the same fear. What is the difference?

Overcoming fear is a process, not necessarily an event.

It may require ongoing, progressive exposures or opportunities to face it. Here’s my quick acronym for overcoming fear.

  • F = Face it. You have a choice: flee fear or face fear. If you flee from fear, you are guaranteed a loss. If you face your fear, then you have a chance to grow and learn—a winning outcome.
  • E = Enter in. Having faced your fear, now take the first step toward what frightens you. And then take one more step beyond where you are comfortable. More, if possible.
  • A = Assess progress. What did you learn about your phobia, yourself, your perspective, your preconceived notions, your attitude, your experience, and whatever else you can glean as a positive step in growth? Even a setback holds a lesson, but you need to go into it with the understanding that it is an experiment in learning and growth.
  • R = Recalibrate. Picture your fear on a scale from 1–10. As a result of Face–Enter–Assess, what measurable—if any—improvement, growth, or learning have you experienced? Now, go back and recalibrate your fear scale.

What are your specific benefits of playing it safe rather than facing your fears?

Fear will keep you from being on-purpose. Follow the FEAR Approach and keep making progress … on-purpose.

Step 1: Face It: A Simple How-to Guide to Combat Fear

FIT 4 LEADING

Click on the cover to learn more.

In FIT 4 Leading, the “F” in FIT stands for Fear. Fear is but one of the four greatest obstacles to success faced by leaders. Several years ago, I conducted a study of small business and solo owners. Over 22% of the respondents indicated that fear is their greatest obstacle to success. So you’re not alone in your fears, but this is one place where you don’t want comfort in numbers.

Fear is an educator when we’re willing to lean into it and allow it to teach us. One strategy I suggest to help you overcome your fear(s) is the use of a coach or mentor. They come to your fear with a different experience and set of senses.

A coach can help you:

  1. Break down what’s really going on within your fear and pinpoint a more precise “definition” of your fear.
  2. Help you to see and quantify where and what your fear is costing you.
  3. Devise strategies and a plan for facing your fear in small manageable steps.
  4. Provide accountability to see that you follow through on your plan.
  5. Process your experiences of facing your fears and lessons to be learned.

Fear is an enemy of the soul and success.

Like any enemy, it can be identified, named, and defeated. But make no mistake that you’re going into combat and you want to be armed and not alone. Fear, however bad it may seem, points the way to personal growth and development.

Fear Quotes

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933

To lead is difficult when you’re a follower of fear.

T.A. Sachs

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Marie Curie

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

Anonymous

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. 

Anonymous

If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost.

Lloyd Douglas

Why Am I Fearful?

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Does fear interfere with your life, business, or career?

What’s your fear? What are you fearful of? Where in your life do you say, “I am afraid of … ,” yet you know it is a hang-up—not a danger to your life or limb?

Would you like to be at a place where you can say, “I am not afraid” … and mean it? Read on!

Fear, like pain, is partially designed to be our friend, not our foe.

  • Fear keeps us from being in harm’s way.
  • Fear protects us from injury, peril, and even death.
  • Fear provides for self-preservation.

This is our good or helpful fear.

Bad or harmful fear debilitates our inherent motivation and destroys our confidence. The ripple effects beyond oneself can damage relationships, opportunities, jobs, finances, and more.

  • Fear can be an occupying foe taking up unjust strongholds in our spirit, mind, and body.
  • Fear can lead to anxiety that spawns a panic attack that triggers the fight or flight reaction.

This fear is unhealthy in every aspect.

Fear is not to be necessarily avoided; it is, however, to be understood.

Fear is a God-given guidepost to growth and healing. Facing fear, however, is not a solitary endeavor. Be wise and seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist skilled in working you through your fear in a progressive manner.

Why bother?

If you’re locked in unhealthy fears, your aspirations and dreams are muted.

When fear prevails it is hard to be on-purpose.