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How Many Friends Do You Have?

October 16, 2018 By kwmccarthy

(This Classic On-Purpose Minute first aired in 2009. Where I say 2010, insert 2018. Start creating friendships today so your tomorrows can be richer.)

Are you hiding behind your avatar pretending to do life?

Who really knows you?

Despite the proliferation of social media, digital connections, and the means of communicating via FaceTime, Skype, text, phone, email, and a letter, do you truly have friendships?

Facebook friends are not the same as true friends. Hiding behind our Facebook profile has become an art form but not necessarily a form of friendship. These one-way communication postures allow us to talk but not be challenged.

I’ve often said that one of our greatest fears is the fear of being known for who we really are and what we’re really thinking.

These “unmentionable secrets” create strongholds of deception that undermine our confidence or cause us not to act. Confession is a sacramental exercise for good reason. It frees the soul to be right with God, self, and others.

When no one really knows us, we can be so lost and alone in the midst of our tribe. Adding more “friends” becomes an unfulfilling addiction in our search for identity, connection, and meaning.

Perhaps you aren’t even aware there is a different way.

Has the number of your connections become your measure of the meaning of your life?
Do popularity and followers define your worth and character?
Have the online hours spent building your network left you busily distracted, desperately lonely, and lacking? Is something still missing?

Consider this, however: a true friend knows what doesn’t get posted on social media or knows it before it gets posted.

Try an experiment this week: Make fewer new connections and have more conversations with a handful of people whom you love or truly would like to know better. Instead of focusing on your burgeoning network, try investing in going deeper with the relationships you do have.

Begin by writing down the names of 2 to 4 people whom you identify as worthy of becoming a better friend.

Call them and tell them what you’re up to in terms of deepening the friendship.
Get together with them.
Grab a cup of coffee; invest yourself in what’s happening in their life.
Learn to listen and ask the deeper, more penetrating questions.

Instead of staying on the surface of life and activities, discover what they learned, how they felt, what concerns them, what gives them joy, and so forth. Laugh, cry, reflect, and just do life together.

Challenge yourself to add at least one true confidant to your life over the coming weeks and months.

Your reward may be a lifelong friend.

When we have friends, we can be apart from people, but not alone. Keyboards can masterfully sustain and keep true friends connected through time and distances. Having friends to talk things through, to be in the flow of one another’s lives with context and concern—now that can make all the difference!

This classic On-Purpose^® Minute invites you to take a hard look around and see who is truly there standing with you. As importantly, are you at risk of being off-purpose and there’s no one there beside you to call you to task because you’re caught in the swirl of social media?

Read a summary of the Duke University research here.

How Are Your Marketing Strategy and Plans?

October 11, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Tactical terror is on the face of many a business person these days thanks to the fundamental shift in marketing due to the internet, especially as it relates to social media. Despite all the change, the core of marketing remains much the same as it has for the past 50 years.

In today’s On-Purpose^® Business Minute, may I introduce you to the importance of purpose in your marketing strategy and plans?

Purpose brings the power, spirit, or juice to the business model and marketing plan that engages employees, customers, and shareholders alike, yet each differently.

Before you design that new website or write that new brochure or ad, please give the fundamentals of great marketing the investment of your time and energy on the front end. It will save you a ton of time and money on the back end.

Having the fundamentals of marketing in place provides a higher probability that your goals will be met or exceeded.

Regardless of your company size, do you feel overwhelmed, confused, or frustrated with your present marketing strategy and plans?
Are you facing the tactical terror of chasing your tail and not getting the results you want?

Please place On-Purpose Partners CMO Services on your mind to help you order, focus, build, and expand your business so it can go to the next level of performance. If you need help, please drop me an email at kwmccarthy@on-purpose.com.

As promised, here is a link to the Marketing Mix concept by Jerome McCarthy, the author of Basic Marketing (and who is not related to me).

What Is It About This Milestone?

June 5, 2018 By kwmccarthy

(This video was recorded a few years ago, on the event of our daughter, Anne, turning 18.)

It is graduation season. Many young people—and their parents—are facing transition.

It is a milestone for young people in terms of coming to legal age. While parental responsibilities for education aren’t going away anytime soon, it does represent a passage of sorts for all of us. It also presents parents with new options as we begin living more as empty nesters.

What’s your advice to parents about redefining how to best create amazing adult children relationships?

Please share your thoughts by using the comment section below (not email) to help us have a parents’ guide to this new beginning. You’ll help a number of parents facing the same transition.

Are your children all adults? Having crossed this threshold, what advice do you have to offer?
Have you recently crossed the threshold into adulthood or do you have a memory of your 18th birthday that brings a bit of wisdom or even levity to the matter? Please share it below.

I posted this question on my Facebook page on my daughter’s birthday a few years ago. Here’s some of the advice from my Facebook friends about making a positive parent connection as our children continue to mature:

Michael McMillan – Congratulations, Kevin. Our 3 have passed that milestone, too… and I have no advice 🙂

Mary Tomlinson – My favorite example is that we go from being responsible for them as parents to becoming more of an “advisor,” and being there for them when they need us and staying out of their way when they don’t need us.

Chris Taylor – From the words of Robert Munsch, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as you’re living, my baby you’ll be.”

Chris’ quote comes from the book “Love You Forever.” When Charles and Anne were little we read this wonderful book to them over and over. In fact, it still brings a tear to my eye as I reflect on those special times with them when they easily fit in a curled arm.

What Is Your Social Media Currency?

March 29, 2018 By kwmccarthy

You’re sitting at the keyboard staring yet again at your Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn login. Yep, you set up your profiles on various social media sites, but as a business person you’re wondering:

Why am I doing this social media effort?
Does Facebook for business make sense?
How do I get the most followers on Twitter?
Are my LinkedIn connections too many or not enough?
What LinkedIn groups should I join?
Who wants to be friends with me?
What in the world am I doing on all these social networking sites?

In a prior On-Purpose Business Minute, I posed the question: What’s the Deal with Social Media? You were encouraged to make sure the purpose of your organization, business design, business strategy, and marketing strategies were in place and aligned. Now, let’s explore a simple, yet powerful traditional step you can make to bridge the relationship of your marketing and social media channels.

Develop your “Social Media Currency,” a term I’m coining (pun) to help my fellow business persons who are awkwardly pounding away with tweets, posts, discussions, chats, and IMs. A little direction can go a long way as you’re learning your way in the world of social networking.

Currency is a store of value; therefore, social media currency is your virtual store of value associated with your online (and real) personality, brand, and identity.

The more I learn about social media and social networks, the more I realize how little has changed in the world of business strategically. Sure, these online mediums shift the means of communication, but the very essence of it still rests on the fundamentals of solid marketing and execution.

Your social media currency is a place or channel-specific extension of your business brand personality.

If I say Apple Inc, you’re probably thinking about your iPod, Mac, or iPhone and attribute the brand qualities like “cool design, youthful, creative, and easy to use.” If I say IBM, your descriptors might be “corporate, smart, safe, mature, and powerful.” Or invest 18 minutes to watch the amazing brand development presentation by Coca-Cola found in this On-Purpose Business Minute to see a great example.

In short, your brand personality permeates your culture, customer service, hiring, product development, and so forth as an essential intangible currency of the relationship that builds consistency and trust. Veer too far from it and your brand value proposition is eroded as your customers are confused. Confusion and doubt damage your value.

How to Coin Your Social Media Currency

You’re probably not the CEO of a major corporation, but a SOHO, small-business person, salesperson, agent, or such. This is all the more reason why being smart online can pay for you and your business. You don’t have the big budget, ad agency, or marketing department defining core marketing strategies.

Early in my foray into social media, Mark Carbone, a business associate, encouraged me to articulate what he calls the “Five Pillars” for my online presence. Immediately, it made sense to me. After asking clients to give me five words to describe me, here is what I got back in rank order as my brand personality: Insightful, Authentic, Confident, Entrepreneurial, Spiritual.

My business partner, Mary Tomlinson, who used to head up Walt Disney World’s internal ad agency, and I often help our business advisory clients develop their brand personality. Same basic concept, just a corporate version.

Thanks to Mark and Mary’s training, my social media currency is defined with five words that describe me.

So, What is your Brand Personality?

Give it some thought for you. What five words best describe your brand personality? Engage the help of business peers, associates, clients, employees, etc., by asking them to give you a list of the five words that they think collectively best describe you.

When you’re finished with your words, use the comment section to post them. Then, you can tell me what five words best describe me. Thanks!

Now, go out and wisely invest your social media currency.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

Are You A Purpose Driven Person?

March 20, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Today, let’s explore the difference between being purpose driven and purpose called.

Let’s start by defining our terms.

What does it mean to be driven?

Mules and horses are driven by the coachman or whip, as he’s called. For many of us it is too easy to get on a track at work and in life, lean into the yoke, and just keep pushing forward day after day trusting that in the end, it all works out for the best. Is this a healthy way to live?

One day we will reflect and look back over days, years, or decades of being a driven person. We’ve been pushed from behind, compelled to do something that may not be the right fit for us. Often we’re motivated by influences outside of ourselves. Such extrinsic motivation works for a while but it is hard to sustain.

To be called is to answer to a higher power.

It is ours to respond to the calling or ignore it. Most of us think of clergy as having a calling. In fact, every person has a calling, a purpose, a design and gifting that is uniquely fitted into a neat package called YOU!

We are not purpose driven. We are purpose called.

Instead of being driven, what if you were leaning into your calling? It may be the same load, but we’re choosing to accept the burden differently.

Here’s a secret about your calling.

You have to be still and listen. It is a calling, not a shout or a holler or a scream. It is subtle, gentle, a small still voice in the wilderness that is never demanding or pushy.

Implied in being called, is being called by name. In a manner of speaking, your 2-word purpose is your spiritual name. So when you hear or recognize it, you know you’re being called and you can answer it.

God calls us by name.

Purpose is one’s identity or name that God uses to call us. We then offer a response of yes or no. When we say yes to our purpose, we are being on-purpose or answering our call.

Here’s a great article on the difference between a job, career, and vocation from Fast Company magazine founder, Alan M. Webber. I remember reading this article in 1998 and nodding my head in agreement.

Watch today’s On-Purpose Minute. You may find it alarmingly disturbing to your “well-ordered life.” Perhaps you’ll find it amazingly comforting as you pursue a calling that seemingly defies logic and reason to everyone except you.

Have you heard about Type A Personalities? These men and women have traits in their personalities that thrive on stress, pressure, multitasking, and … (drum roll) premature death due to heart attacks, high blood pressure, and other stress-induced diseases. Being a driven person and exhibiting Type A behaviors are related but it need not be a death sentence.

Are you ready to begin the cure from being purpose driven?

Here it is: it has nothing to do with your personality—Theory A, B, X, or Y. It has to do with your worldview. You’ve adopted or adapted to a driven personality style.

The cure is to recognize that you are called, not driven. Your purpose forms the words of your identity by which you are called and, once known, you are better capable of recognizing and appropriately responding to your call.

Please let me hear from you. Share your story in the comments section below and you’ll be putting voice to your thoughts and desires. More importantly, others will read your post and glean insights and better self-awareness. You can make a difference this way that can alter the course of another person for good.

Be On-Purpose (called, not driven)!

Kevin

P.S. I’m often asked what I think about Pastor Rick Warren’s best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life, which came out many years after the original release of The On-Purpose Person. First, no he didn’t “steal” my stuff. I get that question all the time. Second, we use purpose differently. He uses purpose to describe what are really the five missions of the church. He hasn’t asked me to re-title the book, but if asked, it would more properly be named “The Mission-Driven Life.”

Making Money or Making A Difference?

May 19, 2016 By kwmccarthy

“Making money or making a difference” captures the crux of the dilemma where many a business person lives. It isn’t an “either or” question. It is a “both and” matter. But, when push comes to shove, which way do you lean?

On-Purpose Peace Online Small Group Forming! Click on Image to Learn More. — Join me for an On-Purpose Peace Online Small Group! Click on Image to Learn More.

Early in my career I was largely driven to make money. I actually made lots of money at different times, but I lost lots of dollars, too—thanks in large part to an ugly business partnership divorce. My dealings with other money hungry people created a series of get-rich quick efforts that rarely panned out. Finding myself in a couple of ethically compromising situations, my spirit was disturbed and I was not at peace with myself.

I decided that my long-term best strategy for peaceful sleep and health was a wide margin from all borderline business dealings. That was in 1987.

Since the late 1980s, I’ve faithfully nourished the message of purpose and pioneered being On-Purpose^® only to see many others leverage (often poorly) the labor and reap the fruit. I’ve held, however, to the scripture that teaches, “The harvest is plentiful. The workers are few,” so I’ve welcomed my co-laborers.

With the release of On-Purpose Peace Fellowship Edition (Christian) and My On-Purpose Folder now I’m sharing my tools with the co-laborers. The live video-conference facilitation I’ll be hosting digs deeper. Come join me and be an on-purpose person in creation.

Back in the late 90s, however, I swung too far to the extreme “making a difference” side of the equation for too many years. I placed at risk my business, finances, and capacity to grow. It made it difficult for my team members. My generosity had personal and family implications as well.

The #1 Non-Fiction Book on Kindle Free!

Good News! My investment in others eventually had a “pay day.” The week of April 24–28, 2012, the fruit of my decision came to life in a humbling manner. At On-Purpose Partners we launched The On-Purpose Person on Kindle (http://www.oppkindle.com) with a free promotion, along with a free webcast called The Power of a 2-Word Purpose Statement.

Wow! My family, fans, friends, and clients came through with an outpouring of returned generosity and support. In the first 48 hours, over 13,000 souls downloaded The On-Purpose Person in the Kindle free market. 72 hours later over 32,539 souls had downloaded The On-Purpose Person during the campaign. This rocketed the message to the top of the Kindle free charts:

#5 in all categories
#1 in non-fiction
#1 Business
#1 Leadership
#1 Personal Growth
#1 Transformation
#1 Self Help
#1 Religion and Spirituality
#1 How to & Advice
And more!

At the time Julie Holzmann (Discovering Beauty) and I (Being On-Purpose) had worked together for over ten years. She sent me the closing clip of George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) from It’s A Wonderful Life. In the scene all of George’s neighbors learn he may have to close the bank and they all pool their money to help. Now I knew what George felt like.

That day on April 24, 2012 as the Kindle e-book download count mounted past 1,000, then 2,000, then 5,000, and Wednesday climbed to 10,000 and 11,000 our George Bailey moment, as Julie so aptly called it, came to life. A few tears have been shed in appreciation and awe since. I could never have imagined that 32,539 souls would ultimately download the e-book.

Our small team here deserves so much credit. Julie works with me on communications. Cheryl helps with the office and keeping track of my easily distracted nature. Mary Tomlinson, my business partner, has taken this message into companies for more than 12 years. Mary Dominguez recognized how to leverage the opportunity with Kindle and brought needed energy and social media effort to the equation. We’ve partnered with technologies from Kudu Publishing, Constant Contact, Xiosoft Instant Teleseminar, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Amazon.com, Apple Inc., 37 Signals, Copyblogger, and more to pull off this launch. My intercessor, Mary R., brought the ultimate in “high” tech—prayer.

The likes of Seth Godin, Rick Radditz, David Bush, Greg Voisen, and Sandy Shugart and more shared the promotion with their email lists. What a team effort.

The generosity of others is the gift that pushed the launch into the 5-figures and top ranking. Too many people to mention here. You know who you are and how your contribution counted.

I pray that you too will have your “It’s A Wonderful Life Moment” and you’ll see the richness of your relationships and how you’re making a difference.

Thanks all for your trust! Be Yourself. Prosper. Make A Difference!