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The Professor of On-Purpose

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balanced life

Do You Want A Balanced Life?

January 23, 2018 By kwmccarthy

Download A Balanced Life

Do you want balance in your life?

If you said “Yes!” then chances are you’re singing what I call the “Work-Life Balance Blues,” a sad song of addictive striving but never arriving.

In a previous blog post titled Striving for Balance, I shared my thoughts about this misguided yet pervasive notion that you can obtain balance your life.

It is hogwash and the sooner you come to understand this, the sooner you’ll be able to get on with your life.

In today’s On-Purpose Minute, I share “The Balanced Life,” a poem I wrote back in 2004. My hope is you’ll begin to see the folly in living the false ideal of a balanced life. At the top of this post, there is a link to download the poem.

Now, let’s touch on the alternative approach to living your life: integrating your life.

So just how does one integrate life? Integration needs a point of integration. Here is where knowing your 2-word personal purpose statement is essential. If you don’t know who you are, then any old you can show up anytime. A great place to start learning about your 2-word purpose statement is our newly launched online tool that helps you know your purpose. Visit ONPURPOSE.me for more information.

The absence of a unifying identity leaves us at risk of dis-integrating. Very simply, your life is either integrating or disintegrating—being pulled together or torn apart.

Beginning in the 1970s, people would talk about “getting my life together.” Implied in this fragmented existence is the longing to be whole and peaceful.

Balance is a devilish “ideal.” Balance pits two opposing forces against each other to create a fragile momentary emotional truce. Balance is marketed as being so sane and wholesome. Yet it is insanity and destructive.

Seeking balance avoids the deeper questions of life and leaves us thirsting to do more, earn more, and to “have it all.” Sadly, the risks of obtaining balance in one’s life produce just the opposite effect of the desired outcome. Instead, we’re running hard and fast, busy, burdened, always feeling behind, incomplete, and ragged mentally and physically. Unquenched, we press onward in a lost war of static attrition until finally we crash and burn out on the sidelines of life.

Integration is a divine gift, a workable progression rather than an unstable state of frenzied efforts. When you are approaching oneness of body, mind, and spirit, you’re moving toward a more productive and positive state of practical living. Your focus shifts from a fragile existence built on sandy soil to the solid bedrock of your inherent essence.

Integration demands a unifying core — a point that forms, informs, and transforms the realities of the world. This window on the world helps us to make sense of the senselessness and to find meaning in the otherwise absurd.

Purpose is your dynamic point of integration.

Integrate your life around your purpose so you can be on-purpose.

Cut yourself free from the balanced life mantra that kills your energy and spirit with a distracting illusion. You don’t want a balanced life because it can’t be had. Live your life integrated around your purpose, and you’ll inevitably be an on-purpose person in creation.

“A ‘Balanced’ Life” a Poem on Life by Kevin W. McCarthy

July 25, 2011 By kwmccarthy

A "Balanced" Life

A balanced life is what I sought,

Only to have a life that was not.

My battle for balance was constantly fought,

Yet, time and again I found myself caught.

 

I planned, I managed, I strove to obtain.

With burnout, frustration, and a worn out brain.

Time I did “manage” with feelings distraught,

Where the harder I tried, the less I got.

 

A balanced life captured my thought.

Advice and coaching I often sought.

So coaches and counselors I did retain

To inspire, encourage, and help me retrain.

 

I listened and learned and did as I ought,

Yet my sense of my self continued to rot.

Day after day I did not obtain,

A life in balance – I could not sustain.

 

Daily my Father saw my deep pain,

Finally, he asked of my earnest campaign.

I told of the experts and advice I had bought.

He listened long. Then, I asked what he thought.

 

“A balanced life you will not obtain.

It’s an illusion sure to drive you insane.”

About the balanced life I so anxiously sought.

In essence he said, “All is for naught.”

 

Could my experts’ advice be words all in vain!

Dad’s contrary words were too simple and plain.

Defensive and righteous, I took a pot shot,

“If not balance, what else have you got?”


He answered, “A balanced life is what you’ve sought.

Instead, try this one simple thought:

Live your life integrated.  It will go as it ought.”

A different perspective my Father had brought.

 

Intrigued and delighted his words fell as rain,

To my parched soul truly going insane.

How do I integrate?  How do I maintain?

Were questions resounding deep in my brain.

 

“In the beginning, when you were begotten

A purpose was given, you’ve long since forgotten.

Search your heart and all its terrain.

Your purpose lies dormant, yet steadfast and fain.

 

“Ignoring your purpose causes work with strain.

Why worry about balance if it isn’t germane!

Align to your purpose, live as you ought.

Listen, my love, to the words that I’ve taught.”

 

His words were startling, and hard to contain

For Balance, my idol, he had just slain. 

No more was my stomach tied tight in a knot.

For a balanced life I no longer sought.

 

In the heart of my heart I had learned a lot

Of ordering life on Dad’s integrating thought.

Gone were failings and feelings distraught

Where the harder I tried, the less I got.

 

I’m sparked by my purpose so simple and plain.

Integration, not balance, now keeps me so sane.

The gift of hope in my heart does remain.

For being on-purpose I can surely sustain.

 

© 2011, Kevin W. McCarthy


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