When do I say “yes” and when do I say “no”?
Having recently had another birthday I got thinking about life, time, and what I might do with the remainder of my earthly time frame.
None of us knows what this time frame might be, but as we get older we sure know that our time on earth goes very quickly.
It’s a bit scary as well as sobering and challenging!
What I do know is that each of us has a Purpose and we are called to live this out in all aspects of our lives whether it is work, family, relationships, finances, or in our physical, intellectual, and spiritual life accounts.
I also am aware that confusing and divided interests have a high cost.
… The more divided our interests,
the more diluted our lives can become …
Every relationship we nurture, every activity in which we engage, every cause we get involved with, and every decision about what we will own and where we will live has a time, energy, concentration, and often financial cost attached to it. They all require some investment of life. The more divided our interests, the more diluted our lives can become.
To use a business analogy, the advice consistently received and given at business marketing seminars and workshops is to ensure your target market is “an inch wide and a mile deep”. Using a scatter gun approach to business is costly both in terms of time and money. A laser beam is more effective than a fluorescent light when it comes to focussing on your target market!
… Knowing your number one core want or top priority
is exhilarating and freeing …
I don’t want to push the analogy too far. But I am suggesting that our life in general should be like knowing our targeting market. We need to use a laser beam when it comes to investing our time wisely and intentionally in each of our seven life “accounts”. Knowing your number one core want or top priority for each, is exhilarating and freeing.
Your life will no longer be “out of control” nor will you get pulled in a thousand different directions as you live up to others’ expectations.
Here is an example of someone who undertook this process as part of the On-Purpose® Personal Leadership and Coaching Program.
After brainstorming his wants in each of the seven life accounts (usually around 12 to 16 for each life area) he developed his “core” or number one want for each. These were his heart’s desires and reflected his current season of life. (Our wants and priorities do change as we find ourselves in different circumstances and as we transition to different life seasons.)
Life Account (LA): Vocational/Career
Core Want or Top Priority (CW): Work to be a creative expression of my life’s meaning
CW: Be closer to “god”
CW: Become a stronger leader in my family
CW: Feeling radiant
CW: Invest time with those who energise and uplift me
CW: Being creative – researching, writing and sharing
CW: Develop wisdom in my attitude and use of money
CW: Honestly confront my relationship with “Tammy” (alias)
Now you might see this as a fluorescent light across his life, but over 100 “wants” were lasered down to one for each of his life accounts. Through using the On-Purpose® Tournament Process he was able to move from confusion to clarity. (Each of these was turned into an On-Purpose® SMART goal with accompanying action steps to achieve these.)
This process can give you profound insights into your life and confidence to move in the direction of your chosen visions, missions, and values.
These of course are not your Purpose but they nevertheless should align with it.
… We can live with clarity and not in a state of confusion …
So when we get clarity around what matters most in our life, we no longer need to march to the beat of other people’s drums. We can live with clarity and not in a state of confusion.
What will be certain is that you will not be heard to say … “my life is out of control” and that is because you are free from divided interests.
You will be able to confidently, clearly, and more consistently say “yes” to your carefully considered top priorities and “no” more often to those things that take you off track, drain your energy and distract you from aligning your life to your Purpose and core values.
… your life is too important to be left to chance …
So, how about undertaking an “audit” on your life? Divided interests are costly and your life is too important to be left to chance, distracting projects, and unnecessary anxieties.
Maybe it’s time for you to re-examine your relationships, vocations, activities, commitments, possessions, and living arrangements and to find what you want most from life.
Are you up for the challenge?
As Socrates once famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living!”
Maybe right now you are wanting to manage your life better and get the important things done; have more time with your partner, family and friends; unshackle the thinking that has held you back; set clear, purposeful goals in your seven “life accounts”; do the things you really want to do and get more fun back into your life.
… be clear about what you want,
prioritise these, action them and implement them …
Our On-Purpose® Life Planning and Coaching Program will lead you to your core wants in all areas of your life.
Our unique tools and processes ensure that you will be clear about what you want, prioritise these, action them and implement them.
You will gain a clear vision for each of your seven life “accounts”, you will have clear missions for your life and values that are in alignment with your purpose, visions and missions.
Now how powerful is that?
© Dr Edward Gifford, On-Purpose Partners®