Career & Work

Is Your Life Getting Better?

September 8, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Note: The video mentions an upcoming On-Purpose Leader Teleseminar. For this updated On-Purpose Minute, I instead want to refer you to the Power of Your 2-Word Purpose Statement webcast, linked below.

Are you or is someone dear to you the proverbial “victim of circumstances”? Don’t Be! A victim of circumstances is a person in an unfortunate position, but those circumstances need not dictate your future.

You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can manage your responses. Resigning to your current set of circumstances can be negatively habit-forming and send you in a downward spiral. This response means that you’re on the fast track to becoming a victim, no longer of circumstances, but of self-inflicted circumstances.

Choose a better option. In this On-Purpose Minute, we’ll be looking at how you can order your life around a different, healthier perspective of managing your life.

Are you ready to finally know your purpose in life — in two words! Yes, your life will get a whole lot better by being on-purpose.

The Power of Your 2-Word Purpose Statement may be just the introduction for you to order your life, define what’s most important, and begin living as an on-purpose person in creation.

Are you getting caught in the Work Trap?

May 13, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Three things prompted me to write this article.

First, the realisation that I need to get my working life into perspective and to practice what I preach!

Second, an article I recently read by Travis Bradberry on ‘How successful people work less and get more done’.

Third, a few weeks ago I had a complete weekend off – went boating, caught some fish, walked and talked with my wife Angela and our chocolate brown labrador – Poppy, (yes, dogs talk too) and generally chilled out.

Nice!

So much so that Angela and Poppy have talked about it nearly every day since!

And I want to do that more often as increasingly I’m working longer hours and often over weekends too! (Those of you who own a business or have high responsibility as an employee know how easily it is to get trapped into 24/7.)

I think there is a serious condition called the Work Trap and we need time to ‘unplug’ (no longer ‘unwind’) from the day-to-day to get more perspective, think more deeply and reflect on the bigger picture of our lives.

… people who work as much as 70 hours per week
only achieve the same amount as people who work 55 hours …

A new study from Stanford found that productivity per hour declines sharply when the work week exceeds 50 hours and productivity drops off so much after 55 hours there’s no point in working any more. Apparently, people who work as much as 70 hours per week (or more) only achieve the same amount as people who work 55 hours.

Successful people know the importance of shifting gears on the weekend to relaxing and rejuvenating activities.

Those who have participated in our Power of Your Purpose programs, will recall the activity where we work together on building your ideal On-Purpose day or weekend. Both of these create space and quality time for the things that matter most – your core wants and top priorities which align with your Purpose and Values.

This might be less difficult than you think!

Activities that successful people do to create life integration on weekends

So, drawing on the post by Travis Bradberry, here are practical things that successful people do on the weekend to re-enter work on Monday morning feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

1. Disconnect
Disconnecting is the most important weekend strategy on this list, because if you can’t find a way to remove yourself electronically from your work Friday evening through Monday morning, then you’ve never really left work. Making yourself available to your work 24/7 exposes you to a constant barrage of stressors that prevent you from refocusing and recharging. If taking the entire weekend off handling work e-mails and calls isn’t realistic, try designating specific times on Saturday and Sunday for checking e-mails and responding to voicemails. Scheduling short blocks of time to attend to emails will alleviate stress without sacrificing availability.

2. Minimise chores
Chores have a funny habit of completely taking over your weekends. When this happens, you lose the opportunity to relax and reflect. What’s worse is that a lot of chores feel like work. So if you spend all weekend doing them, you just put in a seven-day work week. To keep this from happening, you need to schedule your chores like you would anything else during the week, and if you don’t complete them during the allotted time, you move on and finish them the following weekend.

3. Reflect
Weekly reflection is a powerful tool for improvement. Use the weekend to contemplate the larger forces that are shaping your industry, your organization, and your job. Without the distractions of Monday to Friday busy work, you should be able to see things in a whole new light. Use this insight to alter your approach to the coming week, improving the efficiency and efficacy of your work.

4. Exercise
You have 48 hours every weekend to make it happen. Getting your body moving for as little as 10 minutes releases GABA, a soothing neurotransmitter that reduces stress. Exercise is also a great way to come up with new ideas. Innovators and other successful people know that being outdoors often sparks creativity. Whether you’re running, walking, cycling or gardening, exercise leads to endorphin-fuelled introspection. The key is to find a physical activity that does this for you and then to make it an important part of your weekend routine.

5. Pursue a passion
You might be surprised what happens when you pursue something you’re passionate about on weekends. Indulging your passions is a great way to escape stress and to open your mind to new ways of thinking. Things like playing music, reading, writing, painting, or even playing with your kids can help stimulate different modes of thought that can reap huge dividends over the coming week.

6. Spend quality time with family
Spending quality time with your family on the weekend is essential if you want to recharge and relax. Weekdays are so hectic that the entire week can fly by with little quality family time. Don’t let this bleed into your weekends. Take your kids to the park, take your spouse to his or her favourite restaurant, go to the movies and go visit your parents. You’ll be glad you did.

7. Schedule micro-adventures
Buy tickets to a concert or play or get reservations for that new hotel that just opened downtown. Instead of running on a treadmill, plan a hike. Try something you haven’t done before or perhaps something you haven’t done in a long time. Studies show that anticipating something good to come is a significant part of what makes the activity pleasurable. Knowing that you have something interesting planned for Saturday will not only be fun come Saturday, but it will significantly improve your mood throughout the week.

8. Wake up at the same time
It’s tempting to sleep in on the weekend to catch up on your sleep. Though it feels good temporarily, having an inconsistent wake-up time disturbs your circadian rhythm. Your body cycles through an elaborate series of sleep phases in order for you to wake up rested and refreshed. One of these phases involves preparing your mind to be awake and alert, which is why people often wake up just before their alarm clock goes off (the brain is trained and ready). When you sleep past your regular wake-up time on the weekend, you end up feeling groggy and tired. This isn’t just disruptive to your day off, it also makes you less productive on Monday because your brain isn’t ready to wake up at your regular time. If you need to catch up on sleep, just go to bed earlier.

9. Prepare for the upcoming week
The weekend is a great time to spend a few moments planning your upcoming week. As little as 30 minutes of planning can yield significant gains in productivity and reduced stress. The week feels a lot more manageable when you go into it with a plan because all you have to focus on is execution.

Final comments

Trying to implement all of these at once will be overwhelming. So next weekend pick one or two of these to get you started. Commence with the ones that will give you the most meaning and fulfilment. Start planning your weekends intentionally. None of these will happen unless you are really serious about breaking the Work Trap.

While you are planning your next weekend, get some overall perspective back into your life and ask the big questions:

What is the ultimate purpose of my life, work, or career?
What am I living for?
What do I want my life to be about and stand for?

Wait for the answers to emerge from deep within you. They will come. Just give them time and space.

One more tip.

Start observing yourself more. Watch your actions and thoughts as you develop deeper self-awareness about your life and work. We are all so self-absorbed we give little time to being self-aware.

So now it’s up to you but many people find a coach useful for accountability. If you need some assistance to get you going, please give me a call or send me an email.

This is too important to be left to chance.

Queensland, Australia

www.onpurposepartners.com.au

What Is A Vision?

February 17, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Vision is a gift to glimpse into the future with a creative clarity and belief that what isn’t will one day become. Vision comes in many forms and manners. Vision is larger, much larger, than a goal. Vision is what prevents the people from perishing according to The Book of Proverbs. Vision is personal, yet it can be shared and can engage a group to greater heights.

Vision is the second of four key strategic concepts for better leading one’s life, family, and/or organization. In context and order, here are these what I call “deep strategy” concepts: Purpose, Vision, Mission, and Values.

If you’re asking about vision, then you are likely in the midst of seeking a deeper understanding or clarity related to direction. Vision answers one of The Great Questions: Where am I going?

What is a vision, really? If you’re confused as you read books or surf the web, then you’ll only be more confused. Sadly, there is no standard accepted definition for vision or its related strategic concepts of purpose and mission. We’re doing life and business in a Tower of Babel world. Our language is confused around these vital concepts. By casually co-mingling and using them synonymously all of society pays the price for the confusion and poor communication.

In the absence of standards for strategic language, for nearly three decades, I’ve led the charge to fill the void by offering a standard portrayed in The On-Purpose Person and The On-Purpose Business Person. Meet The On-Purpose Pal—a cartoon character who provides a simple, yet highly memorable depiction of how purpose, vision, mission, and values are different, yet connected.

There’s much to learn about purpose, vision, mission, and values. This post isn’t the forum, but let me give you one way to better understand what you’re wanting to know. Answer the following “Who am I?” questions and you’re on the road to what you’re really after—a life of meaning and purpose with a clear identity, direction, plan mixed with strong confidence, and hope for the future.

Purpose: Why am I here? Our being.
Vision: Where am I going? Our seeing.
Mission: How will I get there? Our doing.
Values: What’s important along the way? Our choosing.

Answered these questions? You’re well on your way to being an on-purpose person in creation.

Story: Trusting One’s Vision

Vision can be cooped up inside us longing to escape if we will just dare to express it to the world. Years ago one of our certified On-Purpose® Professionals was coaching a woman who shared a vision for an inner city orchestra. At the time the client was a single mom working two jobs and caring for her two children. Dreaming was a luxury this single mom believed was ill-afforded to her. With some gentle prodding by my associate, the client risked putting words to paper. Her vision began to take form. Cautiously, she began to share her vision.

Remarkable events unfolded within three weeks. At church one Sunday, a local high school principal approached her with this statement: “I heard you are gifted with teaching music.”

“Yes,” was her simple response.

The principal continued, “Over the summer, my high school received funding for an entire orchestra. I have stands, instruments, sheet music, and an acoustically designed studio. But guess what I don’t have? Someone to develop and lead the students. Would you be interested in the position?”

The rest of the story is one that ends happily.

So, what is your vision? Are you prepared to allow the world to conspire for your benefit? Share your vision in the comments section. Who knows what might happen if you do.

Do You Want More Balance In Your Life?

February 10, 2015 By kwmccarthy

It seems that everyone wants more balance. People want:

A higher checking account balance
A perfectly balanced body
A balanced diet

So doesn’t it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn’t replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you because it is an alluring false ideal. It doesn’t work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

“So why, Kevin,” you may ask, “are you such a contrarian?”

No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades. Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities. Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is a set-up for feeling worthless.

Because a life in balance is a myth, it is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn’t work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they’re so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth! Doing life is learning to do life. And that includes making mistakes, doing “dumb things,” and being in the learning process. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

The enemy of personal leadership development is arrogance or the unwillingness to learn from others. Balance is often portrayed as a mystical magical state of being by liars and deniers of reality. The concept is repeated so often that few question the validity of balance. So there’s a whole group of balance promoters who are just repeating what they’ve heard but not really students of it.

As you talk with people, we’ll claim we’re so busy, overworked, and stressed that we believe more balance will finally bring us the peace, comfort, and security we’re working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today’s On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute entitled “Do You Want A Balanced Life ?” I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. In another post, you’ll find my poem entitled “A Balanced Life.” My hope is that you’ll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort. I’ve played the “balance your life game” in the past. No more!

Today when someone says “I want more balance in my life,” I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, “I’m hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what’s there.” No Virginia, the world is not flat. The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed despite being so broadly accepted.

Allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that’s impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn’t semantics; this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of “being out of balance.” You’ll learn to live with the joyful intensity of being “off balance” but being true to yourself and more on-purpose. Replace your old concept and you’ll change your life for the better when you seek to integrate your life rather than balance it.

Are You Happily Distracted?

February 5, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Warning: This On-Purpose Minute blog post has a sting. Proceed with caution.

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We live in the entertainment economy. We’re so immersed in it that we’re like fish who don’t realize they’re swimming in water.

For example, the February 1 NFL Super Bowl XLIX drew an estimated 114.4 million viewers. Admittedly, I was one of them taking in the game, commercials, and halftime. Pro football is my sports distraction of choice along with suspense thrilling movies and TV shows.

I know these next two paragraphs will be controversial, but here goes anyway. When halftime performer Katy Perry rode out on a giant golden lion, Moses came to my mind. Remember Moses (Exodus 32) coming down the mountain with the 10 Commandments and seeing the people with a golden calf. Despite being delivered from Egypt, led through the Red Sea, and fed with manna from heaven, the people were easily distracted with images of gold.

Now compare tens of thousands in a packed stadium cheering and the millions of us at homes and parties who were glued to the TV in utter fascination as this tiny singer decked in flames entered the arena strapped atop the golden king of the jungle. And we wonder why the Jihadists call us the Great Satan. Seen through their eyes and without context, we look like worshipers of false gods “deserving” of punishment. The difference of course was that God didn’t smite the Israelites, but thanks to Moses’ intervention they received mercy and grace, not murder and mayhem.

I share my disturbing vision to shock you out of the depth of the “entertainment immersion” to invite you to breathe the fresh air of a life lived more thoughtfully and fully alive. Think of this message as CPR for the soul.

Be sure to invest yourself in the matters of life that matter the most. Go more deeply into the discovery of knowing who you are, how you were designed, and the difference your life can make in the world of the “happily distracted” who are filled but unfulfilled.

Distractions abound in an ADHD-paced schedule and life. Distractions prevent us from getting to clarity and building lives of maturity, depth, and greater contribution. When distractions become our way of life, the way of our life is passing us by.

How many times have you said, “I just want to be happy”? Perhaps you’ve said it about your children, too. To be happy is certainly a worthy emotional state.

Image via Wikipedia

Dare I ask …

Is happiness the true gold standard for the ideal emotional state?

Can we always be happy?

Are we entitled to happiness?

Yes, I believe in the book title from the Minirth Meier New Life Clinic, Happiness is a Choice. I’m happy to be happy!

Perhaps my age is showing with my questions (and answer). Hopefully, I’m not a cynic, but a keen observer of the human condition. The “pursuit of happiness” as we understand and apply it in the 21st Century may actually not be in our long-term best interest. Too often the pursuit of happiness is the unhealthy avoidance of reality. Denial and distraction are a dangerous one-two combination that take us down an unhealthy path of avoidance.

Happiness, for all its good as it is in use today, is a fleeting, temporary, or surface emotion. Happiness is circumstantial and has the effect of drug tolerance. What it takes to makes us happy tends to get ramped up over time. We need more and bigger to satisfy our happiness quotient.

The more enduring emotions are love, joy, and peace because they are attitudes of choice, not circumstances. The matter becomes, not what can I do to be happy but can I be at peace regardless of my circumstances.

Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search For Meaning profoundly observed that those who survived in Nazi prison camps had a compelling reason and will to live. In essence, they made peace with their circumstances and captors. They lived until another day because they had a purpose, a reason for being.

Pursuing your purpose (instead of happiness) opens the back door to the prosperous and joyful life of being more at peace. Get off the “happy drug” of distractions. Stop paying the high price of avoiding being the true you.

Frankly, we need you to be more of you. You’re the only one who can be you.

What is the Future of Learning?

July 10, 2014 By kwmccarthy

Today's On-Purpose Minute is different for me. I'm sharing this message plus adding my comments below. It is longer than normal, but I thought it an investment worth taking for yourself and those whom you mentor or would like to mentor you.

EVERYONE is a short film by my colleague Nic Askew. He continues his series of intellectually stimulating and visually engaging film topics. I so appreciate his work on getting to the soul of important matters. My comments follow, along with more information on Nic and Mimi Ito Fisher.

In this short video below Mimi Ito of Connected Learning presents a compelling vision of the future of education with technology as well as a gentle indictment of the current educational system and structure. She's pointing the way to my 1998 prediction of the Age of Purpose and Meaning—the age beyond the Information Age—a time where relationships will be the currency of greatest open value.

Purpose will be your strategic advantage in the future, but not a strategic weapon to lord over others. Truly, every person is equal in that we each have a purpose in life. The quality and contribution of that expression of purpose adds value on various dimensions and value to society.

In a world awash with opportunity, the power of knowing who you are will make all the difference in your capacity and ability to make a difference. For decades now, I've been encouraging my readers to "Explore Your Possibilities." Today, the capacity to do that is richly available via the Internet, peer learning, and mentorship.

Judith and I are a part of a learning and serving collaboration as Health Coaches under the guidance and support of Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen. Yes, we offer health coaching services to clients and help them gain health. But as coaches, it can be one of the richest of places to learn, mature, and gain free mentorship. Truly, we're learning and earning while caring for and being ourselves, prospering ourselves and others, and guiding others to do the same. It is an amazing experience and a large part of why I'm involved. Admittedly, health coaching isn't for everyone, but for those who have compassion for people carrying burdens, have a genuine interest in health, and are willing to learn and work, it is life-giving and meaningful work.

It is, after all, hard to be on-purpose if one is unhealthy. Our health reveals our life. We wear our worries on our faces. We carry our cares in our heart. We suckle ourselves with touch and nourishment. Our gut reveals our violations of that we hold dear. Clarity or cloudiness of mind is tied to our vision.

So why settle for a sense of purpose when you can know your purpose? Goldplate or 24 karat gold—you choose. You'll learn by trial and error and you'll learn from mentors, but why not learn from mentors more often. The professors in The School of Hard Knocks are harsh.

What To Do About Your Future

Circulate in your areas of interest for mentors. I remember coaching Little League baseball and try-outs. The engaged kids always stood out to the managers making the picks. Your carriage and your sincere attitude matter. Put yourself where your heart is.
Explore Your Possibilities by going deeply into things. Be curious. Search the web for information, and also search for people to follow.
Read different points of view. Be respectful and gracious on blogs, forums, and places where you post. Hiding rudely behind an online avatar may feel safe, smug, and secure, but rudeness is a matter of the heart. You're not hurting anyone but yourself by being an ass, if it is covered.
Ask questions about things you're curious about. Get to know people. Learn to develop a structured conversation where you're going deeper than the typical cocktail party idle chatter. Check out my daughter Anne's iLifeChat website. She is young and the concept is young, but it is so sound.
Be healthy. Less than optimal health is a compromised mind, body, spirit, and soul. Reclaiming health takes time, but it can be done. Yes, losing weight will get your body healthier, but expect the mind and spirit to follow. Good health also saves money for you and your health care plan.
Facebook friends and likes are not real friends and real likes. Real friends and real likes are available, face-to-face, over the phone, holding hands, hugging, and soul bearing buddies. I know you. You don't have enough of those kinds of people in your life. Trolling the surface of life on social media may offer comforting distraction from the real desire, but it's a placebo for on-purpose pals.

Learning of the future begins by learning about you. Your purpose, vision, mission, and values will enrich and inform your life. Perhaps this video and my comments have done the same for you.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

About Nic and Mimi

EVERYONE from Nic Askew on Vimeo — You'll find more of Nic's videos there.

Mimi Ito's weblog: http://www.itofisher.com/mito/

Connected Learning and Mimi Ito

Hey! Can You Keep A Secret?

March 6, 2014 By kwmccarthy

There's a reason dirty little secrets are called "dirty." No, I won't keep you in suspense wondering why. They are dirty little secrets because they leave us dirty regardless of whether we are the recipient or the teller of secrets.

Feeling dirty is the personal effect, but there's a larger, more devastating corporate consequence that pulls down innocent victims of these simple acts of foul play. In the end, we begin to ask, "Can I TRUST You?"

Today's On-Purpose Business Minute will hopefully get you to reconsider your participation in the act of dirty little secrets.

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

P.S.: Here's something we don't want to keep secret. RE:CALIBRATE!

If you're in a season of trying to make sense of life and searching for direction and meaning, yet you're unsure what's right for you, then it is time to RE:CALIBRATE. Here are 8 power-packed sessions of personal leadership development with Kevin W. McCarthy that is sure to help you go while raising the trajectory of your life and work. Click the logo to learn more.

Do You Have A Mentor?

September 12, 2013 By kwmccarthy

Do you want to become a better leader of your life? Learn how at The On-Purpose Leader Experience at our website. Enrollment is happening now for a new Experience starting Tuesday, Sept. 24. Visit the website and watch Webcast 1 from September 2012.

_________________________________________

A couple of decades ago a friend of mine attempted to organize a mentor program for those of us in our thirties. He reached out to select men in their 50s and 60s to recruit them as mentors. To his surprise, all of the men he approached felt inadequate to the task of being a mentor. You see, they had never really been mentored so they perceived themselves as not being up to the task and responsibility. Sadly, the program never got off the ground as a result.

Chances are that you, too, don't have a mentor. But do you wish you did?

A mentor is a person with an impersonal interest in your personal leadership development and personal growth. You may be thinking, "'an impersonal interest?' I would think it would be a very personal interest."

Actually, those of us who mentor need to maintain a healthy distance from our proteges lest we run the risk of being too close to the person. We risk becoming their fan, instead of their mentor. The effect of too much closeness colors our perceptions and shades our reflective feedback.

As a mentor, I must place my commitment to the mentor-protege roles and process above the personal relationship. Similarly, a defense lawyer must place the system of law above the client to ensure justice is served.

To have a "yes man" as a mentor is to have no mentor at all. Mentors must be able to speak truth in love and be willing to suffer the consequence of offending. Truth is the stock and trade of a mentor.

Mentors aren't dictators; we refine and develop a person's inherent leadership and innate intelligence and capacity for good. Allowing proteges to experience the consequences of their decisions comes with the title of mentor. We need to speak our piece and learn to shut up. Our ultimate interest must be independent, not co-dependent, proteges. Any mentor who is doing otherwise, is simply on an ego trip.

Yoda from Star Wars may be the most famous of all fictional mentors as the unlikely leader of the Jedi Knights. Wouldn't we all like to have a mentor teach us to use "The Force" so we can perform like a Jedi? Recall, however, how many times old Yoda seems to scrunch his face in dismay as Anakin or Luke Skywalker gets ready to do some impulsive (stupid) move that will turn the Force into a Farce.

Who in your life is or was a mentor for you? What is it about your mentor relationship that makes it special? What does your mentor provide you?

In the interim, The On-Purpose Leader Experience is a highly affordable option where I'm available to be your mentor via phone and the online group.

Career & Work

Activities that successful people do to create life integration on weekends

Final comments

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