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Freeing Yourself from Divided Interests

May 8, 2015 By kwmccarthy

When do I say “yes” and when do I say “no”?

Having recently had another birthday I got thinking about life, time, and what I might do with the remainder of my earthly time frame.

None of us knows what this time frame might be, but as we get older we sure know that our time on earth goes very quickly.

It’s a bit scary as well as sobering and challenging!

What I do know is that each of us has a Purpose and we are called to live this out in all aspects of our lives whether it is work, family, relationships, finances, or in our physical, intellectual, and spiritual life accounts.

I also am aware that confusing and divided interests have a high cost.

… The more divided our interests,
the more diluted our lives can become …

Every relationship we nurture, every activity in which we engage, every cause we get involved with, and every decision about what we will own and where we will live has a time, energy, concentration, and often financial cost attached to it. They all require some investment of life. The more divided our interests, the more diluted our lives can become.

To use a business analogy, the advice consistently received and given at business marketing seminars and workshops is to ensure your target market is “an inch wide and a mile deep”. Using a scatter gun approach to business is costly both in terms of time and money. A laser beam is more effective than a fluorescent light when it comes to focussing on your target market!

… Knowing your number one core want or top priority
is exhilarating and freeing …

I don’t want to push the analogy too far. But I am suggesting that our life in general should be like knowing our targeting market. We need to use a laser beam when it comes to investing our time wisely and intentionally in each of our seven life “accounts”. Knowing your number one core want or top priority for each, is exhilarating and freeing.

Your life will no longer be “out of control” nor will you get pulled in a thousand different directions as you live up to others’ expectations.

Here is an example of someone who undertook this process as part of the On-Purpose® Personal Leadership and Coaching Program.

After brainstorming his wants in each of the seven life accounts (usually around 12 to 16 for each life area) he developed his “core” or number one want for each. These were his heart’s desires and reflected his current season of life. (Our wants and priorities do change as we find ourselves in different circumstances and as we transition to different life seasons.)

Life Account (LA): Vocational/Career
Core Want or Top Priority (CW): Work to be a creative expression of my life’s meaning

LA: Spiritual
CW: Be closer to “god”

LA: Family
CW: Become a stronger leader in my family

LA: Physical/Health/Recreational
CW: Feeling radiant

LA: Social/Friends
CW: Invest time with those who energise and uplift me

LA: Intellectual
CW: Being creative – researching, writing and sharing

LA: Financial
CW: Develop wisdom in my attitude and use of money

LA: Other
CW: Honestly confront my relationship with “Tammy” (alias)

Now you might see this as a fluorescent light across his life, but over 100 “wants” were lasered down to one for each of his life accounts. Through using the On-Purpose^® Tournament Process he was able to move from confusion to clarity. (Each of these was turned into an On-Purpose^® SMART goal with accompanying action steps to achieve these.)

This process can give you profound insights into your life and confidence to move in the direction of your chosen visions, missions, and values.

These of course are not your Purpose but they nevertheless should align with it.

… We can live with clarity and not in a state of confusion …

So when we get clarity around what matters most in our life, we no longer need to march to the beat of other people’s drums. We can live with clarity and not in a state of confusion.

What will be certain is that you will not be heard to say … “my life is out of control” and that is because you are free from divided interests.

You will be able to confidently, clearly, and more consistently say “yes” to your carefully considered top priorities and “no” more often to those things that take you off track, drain your energy and distract you from aligning your life to your Purpose and core values.

… your life is too important to be left to chance …

So, how about undertaking an “audit” on your life? Divided interests are costly and your life is too important to be left to chance, distracting projects, and unnecessary anxieties.

Maybe it’s time for you to re-examine your relationships, vocations, activities, commitments, possessions, and living arrangements and to find what you want most from life.

Are you up for the challenge?

As Socrates once famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living!”

Maybe right now you are wanting to manage your life better and get the important things done; have more time with your partner, family and friends; unshackle the thinking that has held you back; set clear, purposeful goals in your seven “life accounts”; do the things you really want to do and get more fun back into your life.

… be clear about what you want,
prioritise these, action them and implement them …

Our On-Purpose^® Life Planning and Coaching Program will lead you to your core wants in all areas of your life.

Our unique tools and processes ensure that you will be clear about what you want, prioritise these, action them and implement them.

You will gain a clear vision for each of your seven life “accounts”, you will have clear missions for your life and values that are in alignment with your purpose, visions and missions.

Now how powerful is that?

Queensland, Australia

www.onpurposepartners.com.au

Bibles for Babwisi: Do Something Historic!

April 10, 2015 By kwmccarthy

You may not be able to make a mission trip to the Babwisi people in Uganda, but for a few dollars a Bible you donate can reside in the country indefinitely!

To learn more and donate, please go to Bibles for Babwisi. $8.50 = 1 Bible. Think about the last $8.50 you spent: Did it have the potential to transform a person, a family, a community, and generations to come? Do something historic and donate.

Ready to make history together? Imagine never having the Bible, the world’s best selling book of all time, in a language that was your own. That is the situation for the Babwisi people who live in Western Uganda, an area famous for gorillas and chimps that brings tourists, but has never seen the Word of God in the heart language of this 100,000+ people group.

For the past 10 years, Wycliffe Bible Translators and The Seed Company have worked with Babwisi Christian leaders to translate all of the New Testament and large parts of the Old Testament, such as Genesis. This summer we’re hoping to see 5,000 Bibles printed and dedicated in the fall to the Babwisi people.

I’m proudly involved in this project through my participation in the Central Florida Christian Chamber of Commerce. Please consider joining me. Judith and I are investing in 10 Bibles/month for the 3 month campaign.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

Ambition. At What Price?

February 19, 2015 By kwmccarthy

What does ambition mean? For some it is the desire to make a difference. This is the sweet, soulful heart of ambition. In contrast is blind ambition that tramples all in its path to accomplish an end, perhaps even a noble end at that, which is fraught with unhealthy costs. Much of this rests on your view of people.

Which will mark your life, career, and legacy?

Herein lies the rub for many a business person. To what lengths are you willing to go to realize your ambitions?

Results, especially in the form of company sales and profits, are outward and tangible measures of success. Measurable signs, however, tell just a portion of the story. If you want to know the full story, ask the people along the way who helped to produce the results.

Here’s a painful example. For 12 months spanning 2008 to 2009, I worked nearly full time with a CEO client to author a book that codified his corporate culture, leadership development moves, and business strategy for internal use. Intending for the company to go public via IPO, the book also targeted Wall Street analysts and investors so they could readily grasp what truly made this company great.

The IPO market at that time dried up with the challenges in the economy. Instead, the company was purchased by a national competitor for $130 million. By the CEO’s own admission, the book helped them get more than $15 million in greater value for shareholders over the IPO price, plus they kept their name, and the CEO was offered the position of President over the merged companies.

“Wow!” you may be thinking, “That CEO had to be a happy man.” You would think so. Eight months after delivery of the manuscript, a client satisfaction clause I wrote into the contract was used to deny issuing me an “earned” six-figure stock bonus despite verbal assurances from the CEO to the contrary. My concern for my client’s satisfaction and best interests was used against me. Ouch! That hurts on so many levels.

Just because one can take advantage of another person, does that mean one should? Best-selling books on the art of war and being a prince would say go for it. But I say there’s nothing noble in selfishness and greed. True nobility is knowing one has the upper hand and using it to raise up the other person instead of jamming them down further.

The deeper value is seeing people as being above things. Translate this to mean relationships are greater than transactions. Results with responsibilities and citizenship can coexist and produce true greatness.

For a couple of decades I’ve worked with my CEO clients to get them to stop saying things like, “Our people are our greatest asset.” Assets are bought and sold as in slavery. Relating people to assets dehumanizes them and places them on par with the photocopier. By the way, the investment in the photocopier maintenance agreement often far exceeds the equivalent “maintenance agreement” for the people in training, development, and benefits. How sad is that!

Along this same line, the term Human Resources certainly doesn’t advance the cause of people much more. Resources are just another name for commodities or assets that are traded, discarded, and otherwise moved about indiscriminately. The Human Resources Department is a blind co-conspirator in the loss of human identity and dignity. Instead, rename the department to something like, “People Development” or “Talent Management” but not “human resources” anything. It is degrading.

I hold no delusions of grandeur that either the perfect person or company graces the face of the planet. Self-serving serpents slither the planet preying on others. We are all capable of being this way, yet deep within our spirit we yearn to a higher self, call, and standard. We’re better to aspire and fail than to have no aspiration at all.

Gazing with admiration upon the shells of “successful” men and women may provide inspiration, but it tends to deliver little instruction. You know better. Get the true back story from the secretaries, bookkeepers, janitors, clerks, delivery persons, and cafeteria workers in corporate headquarters. Look at their personal life. Are their personal lives as captivating as their business headlines? You’ll soon discern whether the person capturing the headlines and your attention is gold-plated or 24 karat solid gold.

Do this: Whether you’re leading your life, a team, or a business, you need to decide: Ambition, at what price? Knowing your purpose and defining your values is a great start to building a life and a career where you can put your head to your pillow at night and sleep soundly.

Engage Kevin for One-on-One Coaching to help you be on-purpose and keep your ambition in a healthy check.

____________________________________________________________________________________ Here are some famous ambition quotes regarding money for your consideration and amusement.

“Money makes the world go around.” $100 bill stack

From the song Money (Watch the performance!) in the Broadway play Cabaret sung by Liza Minnelli and Joel Grey.

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.”

1 Timothy 6

“A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.”

Jonathan Swift

“Get all you can [money], without hurting your soul, your body, or your neighbor. Save all you can, cutting off every needless expense. Give all you can.”

John Wesley

“With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome and you sing well, too.”

Yiddish Proverb

What Is A Vision?

February 17, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Vision is a gift to glimpse into the future with a creative clarity and belief that what isn’t will one day become. Vision comes in many forms and manners. Vision is larger, much larger, than a goal. Vision is what prevents the people from perishing according to The Book of Proverbs. Vision is personal, yet it can be shared and can engage a group to greater heights.

Vision is the second of four key strategic concepts for better leading one’s life, family, and/or organization. In context and order, here are these what I call “deep strategy” concepts: Purpose, Vision, Mission, and Values.

If you’re asking about vision, then you are likely in the midst of seeking a deeper understanding or clarity related to direction. Vision answers one of The Great Questions: Where am I going?

What is a vision, really? If you’re confused as you read books or surf the web, then you’ll only be more confused. Sadly, there is no standard accepted definition for vision or its related strategic concepts of purpose and mission. We’re doing life and business in a Tower of Babel world. Our language is confused around these vital concepts. By casually co-mingling and using them synonymously all of society pays the price for the confusion and poor communication.

In the absence of standards for strategic language, for nearly three decades, I’ve led the charge to fill the void by offering a standard portrayed in The On-Purpose Person and The On-Purpose Business Person. Meet The On-Purpose Pal—a cartoon character who provides a simple, yet highly memorable depiction of how purpose, vision, mission, and values are different, yet connected.

There’s much to learn about purpose, vision, mission, and values. This post isn’t the forum, but let me give you one way to better understand what you’re wanting to know. Answer the following “Who am I?” questions and you’re on the road to what you’re really after—a life of meaning and purpose with a clear identity, direction, plan mixed with strong confidence, and hope for the future.

Purpose: Why am I here? Our being.
Vision: Where am I going? Our seeing.
Mission: How will I get there? Our doing.
Values: What’s important along the way? Our choosing.

Answered these questions? You’re well on your way to being an on-purpose person in creation.

Story: Trusting One’s Vision

Vision can be cooped up inside us longing to escape if we will just dare to express it to the world. Years ago one of our certified On-Purpose® Professionals was coaching a woman who shared a vision for an inner city orchestra. At the time the client was a single mom working two jobs and caring for her two children. Dreaming was a luxury this single mom believed was ill-afforded to her. With some gentle prodding by my associate, the client risked putting words to paper. Her vision began to take form. Cautiously, she began to share her vision.

Remarkable events unfolded within three weeks. At church one Sunday, a local high school principal approached her with this statement: “I heard you are gifted with teaching music.”

“Yes,” was her simple response.

The principal continued, “Over the summer, my high school received funding for an entire orchestra. I have stands, instruments, sheet music, and an acoustically designed studio. But guess what I don’t have? Someone to develop and lead the students. Would you be interested in the position?”

The rest of the story is one that ends happily.

So, what is your vision? Are you prepared to allow the world to conspire for your benefit? Share your vision in the comments section. Who knows what might happen if you do.

Do You Want More Balance In Your Life?

February 10, 2015 By kwmccarthy

It seems that everyone wants more balance. People want:

A higher checking account balance
A perfectly balanced body
A balanced diet

So doesn’t it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn’t replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you because it is an alluring false ideal. It doesn’t work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

“So why, Kevin,” you may ask, “are you such a contrarian?”

No, I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ve studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades. Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities. Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is a set-up for feeling worthless.

Because a life in balance is a myth, it is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn’t work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they’re so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth! Doing life is learning to do life. And that includes making mistakes, doing “dumb things,” and being in the learning process. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

The enemy of personal leadership development is arrogance or the unwillingness to learn from others. Balance is often portrayed as a mystical magical state of being by liars and deniers of reality. The concept is repeated so often that few question the validity of balance. So there’s a whole group of balance promoters who are just repeating what they’ve heard but not really students of it.

As you talk with people, we’ll claim we’re so busy, overworked, and stressed that we believe more balance will finally bring us the peace, comfort, and security we’re working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today’s On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute entitled “Do You Want A Balanced Life ?” I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. In another post, you’ll find my poem entitled “A Balanced Life.” My hope is that you’ll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort. I’ve played the “balance your life game” in the past. No more!

Today when someone says “I want more balance in my life,” I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, “I’m hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what’s there.” No Virginia, the world is not flat. The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed despite being so broadly accepted.

Allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that’s impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn’t semantics; this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of “being out of balance.” You’ll learn to live with the joyful intensity of being “off balance” but being true to yourself and more on-purpose. Replace your old concept and you’ll change your life for the better when you seek to integrate your life rather than balance it.

Are You Happily Distracted?

February 5, 2015 By kwmccarthy

Warning: This On-Purpose Minute blog post has a sting. Proceed with caution.

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We live in the entertainment economy. We’re so immersed in it that we’re like fish who don’t realize they’re swimming in water.

For example, the February 1 NFL Super Bowl XLIX drew an estimated 114.4 million viewers. Admittedly, I was one of them taking in the game, commercials, and halftime. Pro football is my sports distraction of choice along with suspense thrilling movies and TV shows.

I know these next two paragraphs will be controversial, but here goes anyway. When halftime performer Katy Perry rode out on a giant golden lion, Moses came to my mind. Remember Moses (Exodus 32) coming down the mountain with the 10 Commandments and seeing the people with a golden calf. Despite being delivered from Egypt, led through the Red Sea, and fed with manna from heaven, the people were easily distracted with images of gold.

Now compare tens of thousands in a packed stadium cheering and the millions of us at homes and parties who were glued to the TV in utter fascination as this tiny singer decked in flames entered the arena strapped atop the golden king of the jungle. And we wonder why the Jihadists call us the Great Satan. Seen through their eyes and without context, we look like worshipers of false gods “deserving” of punishment. The difference of course was that God didn’t smite the Israelites, but thanks to Moses’ intervention they received mercy and grace, not murder and mayhem.

I share my disturbing vision to shock you out of the depth of the “entertainment immersion” to invite you to breathe the fresh air of a life lived more thoughtfully and fully alive. Think of this message as CPR for the soul.

Be sure to invest yourself in the matters of life that matter the most. Go more deeply into the discovery of knowing who you are, how you were designed, and the difference your life can make in the world of the “happily distracted” who are filled but unfulfilled.

Distractions abound in an ADHD-paced schedule and life. Distractions prevent us from getting to clarity and building lives of maturity, depth, and greater contribution. When distractions become our way of life, the way of our life is passing us by.

How many times have you said, “I just want to be happy”? Perhaps you’ve said it about your children, too. To be happy is certainly a worthy emotional state.

Image via Wikipedia

Dare I ask …

Is happiness the true gold standard for the ideal emotional state?

Can we always be happy?

Are we entitled to happiness?

Yes, I believe in the book title from the Minirth Meier New Life Clinic, Happiness is a Choice. I’m happy to be happy!

Perhaps my age is showing with my questions (and answer). Hopefully, I’m not a cynic, but a keen observer of the human condition. The “pursuit of happiness” as we understand and apply it in the 21st Century may actually not be in our long-term best interest. Too often the pursuit of happiness is the unhealthy avoidance of reality. Denial and distraction are a dangerous one-two combination that take us down an unhealthy path of avoidance.

Happiness, for all its good as it is in use today, is a fleeting, temporary, or surface emotion. Happiness is circumstantial and has the effect of drug tolerance. What it takes to makes us happy tends to get ramped up over time. We need more and bigger to satisfy our happiness quotient.

The more enduring emotions are love, joy, and peace because they are attitudes of choice, not circumstances. The matter becomes, not what can I do to be happy but can I be at peace regardless of my circumstances.

Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search For Meaning profoundly observed that those who survived in Nazi prison camps had a compelling reason and will to live. In essence, they made peace with their circumstances and captors. They lived until another day because they had a purpose, a reason for being.

Pursuing your purpose (instead of happiness) opens the back door to the prosperous and joyful life of being more at peace. Get off the “happy drug” of distractions. Stop paying the high price of avoiding being the true you.

Frankly, we need you to be more of you. You’re the only one who can be you.

In Creation

January 16, 2015 By kwmccarthy

This blog is “in creation” but you’re not coming up empty handed.

A great place to learn more about being on-purpose is Kevin’s blog. Presently, his blog is not a part of this website but it will be soon. There are over 200 short videos called The On-Purpose Minutes plus written commentary with each to provoke your thinking.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, an On-Purpose Minute is posted. To receive an email notification, subscribe (it’s free) in the sidebar to the right that reads On-Purpose Minutes.

President Kennedy’s Inaugural Address

November 4, 2014 By kwmccarthy

It is election day in the USA. If you are a U.S. citizen, please get out and vote; but before you do, please consider watching President Kennedy’s inaugural speech in light of current events.

I recommend reading at least the last three paragraphs of President Kennedy’s Inaugural Address presented below. May it inspire and amaze you in 2014. It shows up in the video at about 12 min. and 30 seconds.

————————–
“And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.

“My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

“Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God’s work must truly be our own.”

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When do I say “yes” and when do I say “no”?

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